The Pain, The Pain.

Can there be a more excruciating pain than what I'm experiencing at this moment. Wow, who took theLouisville Slugger to my back? Did I cross someone in the mob? C'mon! Just a little sympathy please (that or just make my back feel better). So I sit here and try to write something funny, because I am being hounded by those (my public) who are in thralls because I haven't posted in a while. So here I am, at the behest of my public, writing in pain (the tears are flowing down my face).

Talk about being lost (no pun intended, but wow, that was lame and very pun-ish), but right now while trying to relieve this pain in my back, I am watching the show 'Lost'. Just how confusing can a show be? I'm sure that there can be even more confusing shows. (I know, not funny yet, but my back hurts). So, I really don't understand all that is going on, besides the arab being held captive by the hispanic with a gun (not trying to be racist, but I don't know their names). I think I'll change the channel.

For christmas, my father gave me a pellet gun (to shoot the cats). This wasn't a predicted, expected or even needed gift, but its the thought that counts (what thought that is, I don't know, maybe to torment the cats, we'll find out). That's a negative Ghostrider, the pattern is full (sorry, but this will be all the blog you, my public, will get while I hurt). Maybe tomorrow, maybe the pain will disipate. We shall see.

Listen. Since I've met you I've nearly been incinerated, drowned, shot at, and chopped into fish bait. We're caught in the middle of something sinister here, my guess is dad found out more than he was looking for and until I'm sure, I'm going to continue to do things the way I think they should be done.

Retractions, an apology, and an All Around of Feeling Miserable

For those of you who follow my rambles, y'all know that I post nearly every day, as long as I have access to internet. Well, in the past 2 days, I've posted once, and if you are asking where it went, I'll explain, but there are things that lead up to that.

Ok, have you ever had one of those days that makes you go, "I'm sure that if I were to vanish, would people really care?" Today is definitely one of those days (which really sucks considering its the holiday season). So what can make your day feel as such you ask? Where do I begin?

The weather was gorgeous (not the reason for one of those days), but it would seem that if there was a bad bounce on the golf course, it had drastic effects on my ball. Rouge pile of leaves? Ate my ball. Tiny limb between freedom and prison, knocking me deeper into the abyss that is the woods. It was with out a doubt, this was the first inkling that I should have not gotten out of bed.

From the golf course (where again, I was pathetic), we head out to eat for our yearly Christmas Eve lunch at a local eatery. While there (which we arrived half an hour before the restaurant actually closed), the Cowboys game was on, and everyone in my family was enthralled in the action. I found myself keeping quiet, an listening to them talk about the game. Food comes (crazy, it happens whenever I order food at restaurants, people bring it to you), and I go for the salsa (yep, mexican food, whoopie..uh sure), but find out it has vanished. How can a bowl of salsa move if I haven't touched it? Simple, it was taken from me by my sister. A reasonable response would be, "did you take my salsa?" (not a rude, inappropriate question), and leading a verbal attack from my father. Getting in trouble for something that I am nothing at fault for. Day continues to get worse (how can it pour so much on you when its clear and 65 outside?) and I find myself really detesting life and the holiday season.

After lunch, I head to my grandparents, where the only reprieve occurs, I sweep the roof our our shop (no more leaves on it). I get to spend time with my grandparents, watch a little tv with them, and finish wrapping the final presents. I leave by 9, and call a friend (out of a few that I am close enough to wish them a Merry Christmas), it was nice to talk to her. Really do miss people in Corpus, and I'll be back (maybe).

Now onto why there is a missing post, or if you have read, why 'Oh the Things I Saw', it seems that when relying on some close friends good nature, and being great sports, I apparently crossed the line. Wasn't my goal, intention, or even thought. I was banking on their great sense of humor to carry on the prank. Mission Failed. That sucked (now I'm buried under 5 miles of snow and a feeling of complete failure as a friend). I sincerely apologize about the 'stunt', and I aim to apologize to those who are involved, and I intend to also apologize face to face. Until then, the low I feel, only towers over the fine coat of dust that settles on a cleanly mopped floor. In the immortal words of 'The Simpsons' comicbook guy, "worst day EVER!" Yeah, that bad. Anyone know where I can find some traffic to go jump in? (preferably heavy and constant, full of 18 wheelers). Until then, I may not post, for the foreseeable future (might be the last post EVER). For that, I am looking for a rock to go hide under.

It's Christmas Eve. It's-it's the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we-we-we smile a little easier, we-w-w-we-we-we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year we are the people that we always hoped we would be. So you've got a program featuring America's favorite old fart. Reading a book in front of a fireplace. Now, I have to kill all of you.

Talk of Weasels?!

*yawn* Some days just don't pay. Others, pay out of the yin yang. Today was one of those days where the line was extremely borderline. While running errands with my mother, she came up with the bonzo idea, get me a ferret. A weasel? That would be interesting. That's alot of trouble a critter like that would get me into. Who knows. We'll have to wait and see, but we did go look at some ferret pups. Those things are mean. Wow, what can I say? The 'nicest' one chewed the tar out of my hand. We'll see if I get one, but the way they're talking, its either a.) a ferret, or b.) a 32 inch TV. What a toss up. I'll keep y'all posted.

Apparently, Agent 37 is out causing mayhem again. He has something in the works with Agent H. Now it seems that Captain Charisma will have to get off his laurels, and crash the mayhaminess that is being planned. Hmm, what can be done? Espionage? Call the authorities? Sit back and just wait to see what happens? Luckily I'm lazy, so that means I'll just sit back and watch to see what happens. Even though I'm in the know without being in the know (that and I'm 418 miles too far north, so kind of hard to spy). So, here's to waiting to see what happens, again.

They all have husbands and wives and children and houses and dogs, and, you know, they've all made themselves a part of something and they can talk about what they do. What am I gonna say? "I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How've you been?"

Ugh. So Much for the Christmas Spirit

Have we fallen as a society that people lose their civility during the holiday season? Wow, it is amazing. Walking through the mall parking lot, my mother and I were nearly run over multiple times by motorists just flying around the parking lot. It was kinda crazy. Finally, I accepted the task, if I got hit, I was going to leave a huge dent in their bumper (remember, I'm big and ugly!). People cut you off while walking through the mall, give you dirty looks, push you out of the way as they are walking. It just blows me away. People forget what this season is about, well, I know actually the ACLU is out there to blame. What better way for the enemy to shake our faith, than make us embrace the evils of capitolism? Ah well, we all love presents. Just remember, its better to give than recieve (except when it comes to VD). Sometimes it makes you want to just punch the next person in the face that doesn't have the holiday spirit, and say, "Straighten up Scrooge!". Really a holiday thing to do, but still, punch them in the face!

It gets interesting to be back home. Running into people I haven't seen people in a few years, and they come up to say hi. Because I've never had facial hair before, they kind of freeze when they come up to me, to re assess whether or not its really me. Like I'm some kind of crazy killer...(insert comedic joke here). Speaking of crazy. I'm bringing back guns with me to Corpus. Since Mark has moved, I'm scared, and no longer feel safe. I blame his smuggling past. Never know when the asian mafia will come when they lose their easy patsy. That, or he actually stole money from them, but he might not be that bright. Never hurts to be armed to the teeth though.

Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny stinking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white butt down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.

One Week til Christmas

Tonight was the first night that I was able to see my Packers play a game. Now I know why they're a listful 3-10 (3-11 after tonight), they are just plain aweful. I don't blame it on the great ageless one under center, Brett is still the man. Always was, always is. I hope that he comes back for one more season, The NFL isn't ready for him to go just yet (neither am I, because I hope that they play in Dallas again next season, maybe Stephen Diaz and I can go and he'll buy the tickets). Regardless they played aweful tonight, no spirit, nothing. It really made the night kind of boring due to them playing very bad, and I was looking foward to watching them kill the Ravens. Maybe next year, next year.

So, while moping around because my Packers were playing aweful, I scooped up the hometown newspaper, and looked at the movie theater listings, and what did I find to boost my morale? On the day that they are releasing Serenity on DVD (Dec. 20th! Happy day indeed!) The second and newest dollar theater (50 cents before 6 pm) is playing Serenity. So at 12:20 tomorrow, I will be going to see the movie! What a joy! I might go every day this week, til I get the movie on DVD. This makes me very happy indeed.

In other news, I got a new person to comment on my blog. While searching random blogs on blogger, I found a blog of a teacher in NYC, and the only reason I posted was because she was from Texas, and was curious to find out where she was from (fortunatly, curiosity doesn't kill the beaver). Well, she posted back, and crazy thing is, she's originally from Corpus. That was crazy. Just a random thing. Maybe she'll come back and comment again (I want atleast 5 people to comment on my blog to get the list up to 20 total comments).

Le' gave away my Christmas present, all because a girl gave him a kiss. I didn't know he'd betray me like that. Well I know that he didn't betray me, but I can give him grief. What would life be like if I didn't give him greif. It would be nice to know what all my good friends are doing for the holidays, since no one has really told me (I haven't asked either, but thats not my responsibilty).

Ok, new twist to yesterdays toss up. Instead of an actual profession, what kind of video game character would you be? Dig-Dug or the guy from Pitfall?

Hmmm, Pitfall, lets see, you run around on one of four screens. You jump on/over alligators in a pond, swing on a rope over a pit, an open plain, go underground, and jump over snakes and scorpions. You find one chest of gold. A very interesting life. Not very dangerous, if you think that alligators, scorpions, and snakes are not scary. You also gain no points, find that there is no time limit, or goal in life as a character in this original game (on Atari).

Ok, now Dig-Dug. What a guy. Dig around in the dirt, chase enemies and pump them full of air til they pop. You face either an underground fire breathing dragon, or a weird looking guy in an orange suit, wearing ski goggles. You can dig out dirt under a rock and get more points if you get the rock to drop on your enemies. Crushing people....FUN!

So after careful consideration, and playing some video games for research purposes of course, I'm going to have to say that I'd choose the life of DIg-Dug. Making people explode is fun, plus you get bonus points for crushing them with boulders. Since in Pitfall, you have no purpose in life, which would be NO FUN. None whats so ever.

Maybe next time I'll do cartoon characters, or tv characters. Only if I can come up with some funny ones to toss up together. Feel free to give me suggestions, and I'll toss 'em up.

Now I know that some of you put Flick up to this, but he has refused to say who. But those who did it know their blame, and I'm sure that the guilt you must feel would be far worse than any punishment you might receive. Now, don't you feel terrible? Don't you feel remorse for what you have done? Well, that's all I'm going to say about poor Flick.

Toss Up Time Kiddies!

Ah yes, Saturdays home in East Texas. Know what that means? I got to play golf all day long. I know, I know, I'm special. Life could be worse, I could have not been able to play golf today, that would have been bad. I'd have been very cranky, and we know how I handle being cranky.

I was talking to a friend tonight, and the topic came up, which group would be better: ninjas or pirates? So let us break it down....

To be a ninja means that you get to wear really cool black outfits, and nifty masks. sneak around killin folk without remorse, carry swords, sharp throwing star looking thingys, beastly cool ninja skills, karate masters, wearing really cool outfits, come out of the woodworks and kill people. Did I mention that knumchucks? (I better watch what I say, I'm starting to sound a bit like Napoleon Dynomite, which is not cool). Let's see, oh yeah, get to throw smoke bombs to make dramatic entrances and exits.

To be a pirate means that you get to dress like a, well, a pirate. Get to wear an eye patch, have a parrot sit on your shoulder, carry a sword. Go swashbuckling, drink, be merry, sail on a really awesome ship. Sing 'Yo Ho Ho, and a Bottle of Rum'. End every sentence with an 'ARRRR' and 'Avast Ye Matey'. Visit tons of ports all over the world, get hung by the neck when you enter a port that doesn't allow pirates. Get to shoot cannons at other ships, collect tons of booty (gold bullion, so get your mind out of the gutters), and you get to fly the jolly roger. Last cool thing I can think of at the moment, you have to answer to Davey Jones, and his locker.

Hmm, thats a toss up, but if I had to choose, since I live on the beach, I'll have to go with being a pirate.

After that fun subject, the next match came up: Soccer Mom or Rangers Special Ops. Wow, what a topic. I don't know where to begin, or which one to judge first. So, we'll go with the guys who can kill you before you know it, the speical ops.

To be special ops that means you get to wear really cool cammo, carry a big gun (rather it be an M-16, or a SAW), carry lots of grenades. You'll get to jump out of airplanes, and drive a humvee. Now thats cool, drive a humvee. Ooh, don't forget that you get really swift nightvision goggles that let you see stuff at night. Fight insurgents, and dodge IED's. Spend the nights sleeping under the stars, sneaking up and slitting peoples throats, and blowing stuff up.

Soccer mom, now this is tricky. Roll around in a minivan or SUV. Now in said SUV or minivan, there will be a dvd player (awesome, always something to watch while rolling down the road). Endless supply of gatorade, cokes, fruitjuice, fruitwedges, hot chocolate, etc.. The comedy of watching fat kids making fools of themselves trying to play sports that they will never be able to play. Get to wear awesome cardigan sweaters, and stylish sunglasses. Never have to work, sit at home when its not a game day. On a rainy day, get to drive around town, and go buy stuff.

Wow, yet another close toss-up. If I had to choose myself, I'd have to go special ops, the guns, and humvee win me over, unless I could be a soccer mom that drives a humvee and has a concealed handgun liscense, and could shoot to kill with no problems, then I'd have to go with the soccer mom (I think cardigan sweaters are pretty sweet).

What an awesome set of ideas. I'm sure that in my day on the golfcourse tomorrow, I'll be able to think of a few more cool ideas to judge against each others. Still no pictures, because I don't have a USB cable to get the info off my camera (might steal my fathers, for pictures for y'all). Now, this quote goes out to the only librarian I know, Miss Scroggs, the infinate cousin of Mr. Belcher (eat your hearts out as you try and figure this one out).

Evelyn: Look, I... I may not be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a treasure-seeker, or a gunfighter, Mr. O'Connell, but I am proud of what I am.

Rick: And what is that?


Evelyn: I... am a librarian.

I'm Rambling

Today was something crazy. I was doing yard work (everyone pick your jaws off the ground, I actually do work), and I got to thinking, this is my last semester of undergrad. How crazy is that? I've spent 7 years working at it, most people are called doctors. Well, if y'all like, refer to me as Dr. Nick. "Hi everybody!" No one can hate on a Hank Azzeria character, well maybe McBaine, but if you do, he might kill you.

Leaves, leaves everywhere. I have never seen so many leaves in my life (actually I have, since I grew up here, but I'm being literary). The amount of leaves we picked up off the ground didn't even equal the number of leaves still in the trees. Tomorrow, if I can find a way to get pictures off my camera, I'll share with all of y'all. Until then, take my word for it.

I missed the snow last Christmas in Corpus, but I might not miss it this year. They're calling for snow on Tuesday, and I'm praying against it. That white stuff is not conductive to golf. Its sad to think that I've been in Longview for 3 days, and I have yet to play golf. It's pretty bad. I do get tv at home. I'm enjoying watching tv before I fall asleep. I almost can't contain myself.

Wow, I'm rambling. I probably have everyone so lost that they're trying to jump off cliffs like lemmings. Have no fear, I'm right behind you, because I'm just as lost. Too bad I don't have hold music for y'all to listen to while I think of what to write about. That, or just hit the publish post link. Let's go with click on publish. Click, click, click. I'm sorry that I'm going to miss the painting of a house (actually, maybe its the fear of a paint bucket getting stuck on my head). Seems whenever I do outdoor painting, my head ends up in a bucket (hopefully, it won't be a lead based paint this time). I'll keep y'all posted on my whereabouts, and whereado's (made that one up).

You watch those nature documentaries on the cable? You see the one about lions? You got this lion. He's the king of the jungle, huge mane out to here. He's laying under a tree, in the middle of Africa. He's so big, it's so hot. He doesn't want to move. Now the little lions come, they start messing with him. Biting his tail, biting his ears. He doesn't do anything. The lioness, she starts messing with him. Coming over, making trouble. Still nothing. Now the other animals, they notice this. They start to move in. The jackals; hyenas. They're barking at him, laughing at him. They nip his toes, and eat the food that's in his domain. They do this, then they get closer and closer, bolder and bolder. Till one day, that lion gets up and tears the shit out of everybody. Runs like the wind, eats everything in his path. Cause every once in a while, the lion has to show the jackals, who he is.

Day 2 in God's Kountry

Ah, the second full day of vacation. It is really nice to be home, nice to be with family, but no fun because two of my closest friends won't be in from South Bend Indiana, until next Wednsday. That means I must spend time with my family (yay?). Ah, who can complain, my family is a good family. They make fun of me, ride me like a pack mule, beat me with a broom stick, uh and I sai that they were a good family? I must be crazy they abuse me. Guess that makes me a case of nuture over nature. Ah, they are a good family, I wouldn't trade them for the world, well, maybe to be a Bush, only for political aspirations. Politics are fun. If I knew how to put a poll on my blog, I'd do it...so, if anyone knows how, tell me. Then again, the poll would have 3 maybe 4 votes on it, and I know what the answers would be. I think. People I know are predictable.

(side note: Le' has a book of Krav Maga, geurilla street fighting developed by the Israeli army, and I learned the proper pronuciation, Krav Ma-GAH: again, just a side note.)

King Kong was a good movie, Peter Jackson is just friggen awesome. Next project? Halo. Should be interesting. 10 more days til Christmas. I can't wait, no telling what kind of loot I'll bring back to Corpus. I can't wait to get back to Corpus. Who'd have thought I'd ever had said anything like that, but its true. We'll see what happens. All I know is it is friggen cold out side. A reason why south Texas is nicer than East Texas, and its the only one that I've found. You don't have to rake leaves in south Texas, it also helps that there are no trees there. I've been doing a bit of studying, and apparently, I've found something: There is one strikingly amazing similarity between women and fish...they're both attracted to shiney objects. What a heck of a discovery. I might get a Nobel prize. Here's crossing my fingers, and throwing my hat into the ring.

How's the turtle Mrs. Stubbs? Did your kids ever figure out you switched turtles on them because I know it would be a major disappointment for them to find out.

Someone Stoled my Thunder

HAHA! I've posted twice in one day! It's been quite a while since I've done that. This is extremely quick, in the last post, I stoled Le's thunder. Unfortunatly, someone else did a better job of stealing thunder. Check out what this Richardson teacher told her 1st graders. Man, thats just harsh, but I'd do it, I don't like kids.

Twenty five years ago, an ancient legend of this sacred art came alive. It spoke of a foreign child who would come among us and become a Ninja master unlike any other. How he arrived on our shores will forever remain a mystery. We Ninjas thought that this child would be the great white Ninja of the legend. We were wrong. We were very wrong.

Just Call me Thor, I'm Stealing Thunder!

Ok, so I made it safe and sound back to Longview. No problems, although I saw quite a few people who were pulled over by state troopers, and their cars being searched. Drug dogs hard at work. Guess you could say that they were working real hard on their Christmas bonuses. Luckily, they didn't view me as the type to be a drug runner (aren't I lucky, good thing they didn't find the 5 kilos I hid in my luggage). Not really, because if I did, then my money problems would be null and void. Anyways, I want to wish all of my friends a (hope I don't get sued, because this won't be politically correct, then again, have I ever been concerned about being politically correct? NEVER!) Merry Christmas, but not a Happy New Year, because I'll be there in person to wish you all that. Got it? Good.

So, I have to blame Le' for this one. Last week (something like that) Le' introduced me to a band from Georgia called Family Force 5. Nothing like southern country rock. Well, even though I refuse to sign up to myspace, i.e., the free porn station (see my previous post), but I did go through his blog to find their page. Well, before he can talk about their newest video, I'll do it (hahaha, I stoled your thunder!). The only reason for this is that they re-did a southern Christmas classic, 'Grandma Gots Runned Over by a Reindeer'. Any country boy has to love the song, but this is just, well, funny. C'mon, click it, watch it, laugh at it, and also remember, I stoled Le's thunder! HAHA.

Well, the quote game found a cheater amongst the contestants. Actually, the cheater confessed to cheating. The dirty bugger. Next time I see the cheater, I'll swat him/her. Not going to label the cheater, because it could be detrimental to their credibility. Can't be havin that happen, being their 'henchman' and all (dangit now I've gone and done it, given the person away). Oh well, thats what they get for CHEATING! In the spirit of the game, it will continue. Mystery cheater, you'll get a warning, consider it a stiff reprimand. This is no slap on the wrist, but a swift kick in the rear. Sorry that I stoled your thunder earlier (crap, I did it again! Me and my big mouth).

So, I got me some work while I'm here. I'm re-tinning our shop. Don't know my hourly rate, or how long it will take me (its manual labor, which I detest, but its a job). Hope that I don't lose a finger, it will be hard work, but think of all the strength I'll be building. I'll be a beast. Ok, maybe not in a week and a half of working, but here's me thinking it might happen. We'll see.

Um, what my associate is trying to say is that our new brake pads are really cool. You're not even gonna believe it. Let's say you're driving along the road with your family. You're driving along... La-de-da, woo... Suddenly there's a truck tire in the middle of the road. Eeeee! Whoa, that was close. Now let's see what happens when you're driving with the "other guy's" brake pads. You're driving along... You're driving along. The kids are yelling from the back seat, "I gotta go to the bathroom, Daddy!" "Not now, dammit!" There's a truck tire. Eeee! I can't stop! Aaaah! There's a cliff! Aaaah! And your family's screaming, "Oh, my God, we're burning alive! I can't feel my legs!" Here comes the meat wagon. And the medic gets out and says, "Oh, my God!" The new guy's around the corner puking his guts out. All because...You wanna save a couple extra pennies. And to me, that doesn't...

A Quick Word Before the Road

Ah, the frantic post. Got to love them. I'm writting shortly before I hit the road to Longview. Just want to say a few things before I go. I've been down here in Corpus for about three years now, and in that time I've found a church, and a bevy of great friends that are unreplaceable. Life is great. Now if only I had a 'real' job, life would be awesome (that will come in time).

Out of the 330 bucks I spent on books, I got a total of 84 back. What a rip. Thats life. The open road. Here I come.

One change that will be different when I get back the day after christmas, Mark will be gone, the house will be different for ever now. Mark will be missed (every group needs a Butters). I wish him well, may God bless him, and his walk grow closer to him. To all I'll post again tonight when I return home (no longer a place of 56k hell, but now cable internet!).

This quote seems right for going on a 7 hour drive:

Well, I got a 426 hemi here, 3/4 cams, nitro boosters, I can get 'er up to as good as 155! Never do, though, of course, unless I'm chasing a cute chick in a Ferrari! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I guess I was goin' about... 65, tops.

Still Finals Season (Somebody Please Shoot Me)

Ah, Friday is here. The 9th. What a glorious day. At this very moment in Lipezg Germany, the powers that be are drawing lots to see who plays who in the 2006 World Cup. An exciting day indeed. Who will the mighty US face come June 9th? Wait and see, as the draw continues. We all (ok, just me because I'm a diehard soccer fan, but play along guys), hold our collective breathes to see the outcome. Coincidentally, a prayer of mine is being lifted up. Should there be a G.C. Ops mission sent to Germany for a month? Do a little streep evangelism to the world on the world stage that is the World Cup? Only God knows the answer to that, but that would be an awesome prayer to be answered.

Other prayers that are out there have yet to be answered, or most likely, interpreted by yours truly. I can be a bit dense (stop laughing guys, that really hurts my feelings). Mark is still moving to Florida. Can't change anything about that, nor do I plan to try. He needs to spread his wings, but I am still on the hunt for a new roommate. Any takers? Just send me an application (feel free to greese my hand with a few extra twenty dollar bills, and you might move to the front of the line). Now on to a new section that we're adding today....What things that annoy the mess out of me.

Ok, here we go, things that annoy the mess out of me (its a top 5 list, starting with No.5):

5. People that say they're sorry when there is nothing to be sorry about. If you have to say you're sorry to me, atleast walk up, and kick me in the shin, then you'd have something to be sorry for.
4. Finding out information second hand when it deals with me. The last thing I need to have is someone having important information for me, but I don't find out from them, I hear it from 3 other people. Just talk to me, I might look mean and ugly, but I'm as cuddly as a Polar Bear near a fresh kill.
3. People flaunting their wealth over other people. Ok, this one here is directed towards Mr. Rose, who last week, flaunted his new found amounts of cash to buy himself new shirts infront of Le', and myself. Knowing full well that we had to scrounge up thirty bucks to pay for those ugly tuxes. Pure evil that Mr. Rose, pure evil. Come to think of it, the movie should have been named 'The Attempted Exorcism of Chris Rose' (that has a ring to it, rich jerk).
2. Women telling me that they just want to be friends. What is with that? Why not tell me I have to wash my hair, or that you'd rather go play in toxic waste? Why lie to me and tell me you just want to be my friend? I have tons of friends. Look at me, I'm a fun loving guy who is always cheery, and never has a bad attitude. I have tons of friends....ok, maybe I shouldn't complain, it never hurts to have extra friends, especially female friends, because they might have really good looking friends that they can introduce me to, that don't want to 'just be friends', who knows?
1. Walking into the Library on campus, and nearly EVERY student in there is working on their facebook/myspace accounts. These posting rings are nothing more than a place for people to post pornography, and get cheap hookups with out the restrictions. What the crap is that about? Why can't there be moral decentcy? Atleast my blog is clean. The only bad thing you might see in mine is the occasional 'hell' or 'bastard', nothing more. Then again, thats just me.

That concluded the top 5 things that annoy the mess out of me. Hope y'all enjoyed.

Tonight, 'The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe' opens and I make my bigscreen debut. We all know that I am Mr. Beaver (I played the character during the church preformance, it was awesome). Now, if I could only get a check for my apperance. I won't hold my breath. Two finals to go. One take home, the other, well, I'll have to go to class for that one. If I didn't have that one, I'd be going home today. Make it in time to make the Saturday morning choose-up. Ah well, I'll be home Tuesday.

Mr. President, we have to give bears the right to vote... or bears will rise up and then BEARS will be in congress and we will be the ones performing in the circus, wearing little hats.

It's Begining To Look A Lot Like Finals.....

Well, if it isn't the time of year I truly detest (wait, what time of the year do I not detest)? Finals. The end of the semester when professors enjoy torturing students with mundane tests, acting like we were supposed to learn something during the year. How aweful is that? Ah well, we must comply (or do we?). I find myself up on campus already at 8:30 this morning so I can "study". As you can plainly see, I sure amy studying my eyeballs out (and my typing fingers to boot). I'll get the gumption to study here in a minute when I go put a dollar on my sanddollar to print out the appropriate handouts (the school just enjoys taking all my money from me, however possible). I think I'll be heading home sooner than originally planned. Arrival in Longview wasn't expected until next Friday (so I could be ready for the choose-up on Saturday), but now in light of other events that have come up, I think after my final on Tuesday, barring I have to go to work, I'll be leaving town for a couple of weeks (can probably get some work done at home and get money for it). I'll keep all of you posted.

I got a text message this morning, but I can not read it. My cell phone screen does not work, and therefore I have no idea who sent this message to me (although I think I have an idea, it was probably my sister to tell me the Rangers traded Alfonso Soriano to Washington). But if it wasn't her, and mystery textmessenger-er type person, please let me know by posting here, or giving me a call, since I CAN'T READ WHAT YOU SENT ME!?!?!

As an announcement, streaking through the quad tonite has been cancled due to cold weather. Thank you, that was simply an announcement.

Tony and myself are now on the lookout for a new roommate, and are taking applications. No telling who we'll find to fill the spot, again, any suggestions can be left in the suggestion box. We'll respond like we do with everyone elses suggestions. I'll walk up and kick you in the shin and laugh evily (thats my m.o.). Time for me to "study".

Now its time for everyones favorite game, name the movie I quoted (of course, hardly anyone plays)

Woman... woe-man... whoooa-man. She was a thief, you got to believe, she stole my heart and my cat. Judy, Betty, Josie and those hot Pussycats... they made me horny, on Saturday morn-y... girls of cartoo-ins will leave me in ruins... I want to to be Betty's Barney. Jane... get me off this crazy thing... called love.

Things That I May (or May Not) Do

Hmph. Humbug. That's all that I can think to say at this moment. I have been tagged. As Mr. Cowan put it, others out there trying to hijack my blog. Honestly?! Someone wants to hijack my blog? The sanctity of my most inner rantings, the place where my manic state finds solice to speak whatever it can think of? Never! But I will tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to list 5 odd things that I may/may not do (Atleast that I haven't been convicted of). So where do I begin? Lets see...Ok, I got one, I may (or may not) run barebottom through the neighbors sprinklers in the middle of the night. If you must know, the temperature has really dropped the past few evenings, so that makes it a little hard to go and do that kind of running. Again, I state, these are odd things that I may (or may not) do.

And now a comment from my sponsors:

My mother gave me the entire second season of M*A*S*H, and well I've become addicted to it. KInda scary. Hawkeye, Pierce, Radar, Major Burns, what hilarity. Gee, I need a hobby, but if anyone sees seasons 1, 3-9, feel free to pick them up for me, I'll give you a hardy handshake as payment for doing such a great deed for me.

Now back to the show

A second thing that is odd that I may (or may not) do, is that I like to go into the HEB plus, and take my own personal Cherpa with me. We all know that the store is like walking into a foreign country. They give you a map for pete's sake! Again, this is something that, say it with me now, I may (or may not) do.

More words from my sponsors

Finals are comming up, and that means, selling books. What a racket that is. The bookstore is cleaning house here. Talking about a profit. These people have the gall to sell you a book for over a hundred bucks, but at the end of a semester, they'll pay you a hefty 13% of what you originally paid (and we all know that the books I sell back are still in the original factory syran wrap, and in pristeen condition).

Back to the show once more

The third thing that is odd that I may (or may not) do is go to the bookstore when selling my books back, and do my best "Lets Make A Deal" impersinaiton. What better to do to people that steal your britches off your bottom while smiling at you, than make a complete fool of yourself in the process? I try to hagle with them. Talk them up in price. Its never worked, and once they may (or may not) have decided not to buy my book back at all. Can you believe that? Its organized crime if you ask me. Where's the FBI to take care of this?! MY TAX DOLLARS AND TUITION AT WORK HERE!

Last word from my sponsor

Mark got into seminary. I will be supportive, but that also means I need to find a new room mate. I like how these things happen all at the same time. I'm already hurting for money since I'm having a hell of a time at work (if they allow me to actually come in and earn a paycheck). Now, that redheaded moron is going into the seminary in Florida. I'll wish him well, but who knows, in 3 weeks, he'll probably be calling looking for sympathy, just like he did when he moved to Dallas. Who knows, but I will still support him.

Back to the show

The last thing that I may (or may not) do is constantly say, here are things that I may (or may not ) do. I'm sure that has to be a really odd thing to do. I know that I'm not as creative as Mr. Cowan, or good looking as Mr. Belcher, but I can be annoying. I'm like a mosquito that buzzes in your ear on a warm spring evening. That or the ant pile you sit in while trying to have a picnic. I'm always there, and you feel my presence. Now, as far as tagging other people, that I refuse to do. Instead, I will run around, and smack people with a book, and tell them to do so. I like that alot better. We'll see how that goes (keeping my fingers crossed).

Dr. Egon Spengler: There's something very important I forgot to tell you.
Dr. Peter Venkman: What?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Don't cross the streams.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Why?
Dr. Egon Spengler: It would be bad.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, "bad?"
Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Dr. Ray Stantz: Total protonic reversal.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Right. That's bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.

Hockey!

Well, hasn't it been an interesting time since I've last posted for my adoring throngs of fans? I do sincerely appologize, if I have let any of you down. So here's the lowdown. My mother, who was so kind as to grace us with her presence this past weekend has headed back up north to the pineywoods (I really did enjoy her visit, although, she was not short of trying to embarass me at every turn, but thats life). It was a fun week. I got to be a driver for her, which I suppose is payback for the 15 years she had to do it for me, again, thats life. My prediction though, about her buying me dinner 3 nites did not come true. I took a lowball figure I suppose. Not only did I get 3 free meals each night, but I also recieved a free lunch, tank of gas, and money. Gee, I sure do have a great mommy (thats the obligitory kissing up that I'm required to do by law, but I might go for some extra credit later). I was sad to see her go, but then I realized, I'll be home in a couple of weeks so no sad feelings for me.

World Domination bowed out with a crash from the intermural cup finals Thursday. We failed to capture the title in overtime, and took a humbling 4-3 defeat. We'll try again the next chance we get, but I might hang the boots up permenantly (I'm getting to old for this game). I'll stick to golf. Worst that can happen is what is in that picture. Never, ever, EVER! get your face between a driver and where it will stop. It really hurts. I kid you not.
But golf seems to be my best bet for fun. C'mon, I'm a 4 handicap, I can shoot in the low 70's regularly, now if I could just get the church to assign me as the pastor of golf ministries, I could play at the countryclub for a mere $200 a month (finding $200, is teh second step to worry about, but until then, being able to recieve that kind of deal is first and upmost a priority). The plan also has Le' learning how to play golf better than his seagull hitting, wretched swinging, but beautiful putting ways (no lie, the man can putt). If I go pro, I'll remember you all. Especially Le, I'll need a caddie to carry my golf clubs everywhere I go, plus, someone to make me look really good when I try to hustle people out of money.

Wow, tons of rambling here, but its fun! Friday, we were fitted for Chris Rose's wedding. Turns out I'm too fat to attend. What a bummer. After dinner with my mom at Chili's (where I took her to meet Anna, because she and I had a blossoming relationship that was ready for that next step: meeting my mom), the gang went and watched 'Aeon Flux'. As soon as I figure out what the movie was about, I'll be glad to post about it, but until then, I'll scratch my head, and just sit there with a glazed look on my face (then again, what else is new?). Saturday, hockey! Hockey, hockey, hockey! Man, I love hockey. Forechecks, crosschecks, bounced checks...err, crosschecks! Fun game with the gang. We cheer, we heckeled (ok, I heckeled, and as soon as Le' can format it, I'll post whatever I can of me yelling at Dolson, the visiting teams goalie). I ate three hotdogs, drank a coke, and yelled out my hearts content. We even got the blimp to come to us during the first intermission. The free gift we caught, free small pizza at Beamers (ironic since we've eaten there the past month, but enjoy the food none the less). Did I fail to mention hockey is great? Well it is.

Sunday, we did that church thing, which we do so well. Le' preaches, the band plays, I mess up the powerpoint because I just dont' understand music, but no one is complaining. Got to meet yet another one of the Belcher clan. Stephanie Scroggs, Jakobs second cousin, half removed from his uncle's pancreas, twice removed from his 5th aunts benign lymphnode, or something like that (I need a map just to be able to tell you how they're related, but I take their word on it that they are). She's a nice girl. Puts up with Jakob, but thats not a hard task. A T-rex and a giant orangatan can get along in harmony, regardless of what those nature channels say. Did I mention that I proved that I'm a complete moron? Oh, I did? Wait, what do you mean I do it on a daily basis? Thats just plain mean.....anyways, remind me to forget the words to 'Ice, ice baby'. I sound like a fool doing it (then again, I sound like a fool when my mouth is running anyways).

Snowball fight at church this comming sunday. I'm going to nail Le' between the eyes. Well maybe not, because Jenny is a really scary person if you make her mad, and I don't want to do that. Til we meet again in my little cyber world.

Ladies and gentlemen, I won't sugarcoat it; I've seen road kill with better reflexes.

Oh, yeah, mother, click here to get firefox for the new computer.