Toss Up Time Kiddies!

Ah yes, Saturdays home in East Texas. Know what that means? I got to play golf all day long. I know, I know, I'm special. Life could be worse, I could have not been able to play golf today, that would have been bad. I'd have been very cranky, and we know how I handle being cranky.

I was talking to a friend tonight, and the topic came up, which group would be better: ninjas or pirates? So let us break it down....

To be a ninja means that you get to wear really cool black outfits, and nifty masks. sneak around killin folk without remorse, carry swords, sharp throwing star looking thingys, beastly cool ninja skills, karate masters, wearing really cool outfits, come out of the woodworks and kill people. Did I mention that knumchucks? (I better watch what I say, I'm starting to sound a bit like Napoleon Dynomite, which is not cool). Let's see, oh yeah, get to throw smoke bombs to make dramatic entrances and exits.

To be a pirate means that you get to dress like a, well, a pirate. Get to wear an eye patch, have a parrot sit on your shoulder, carry a sword. Go swashbuckling, drink, be merry, sail on a really awesome ship. Sing 'Yo Ho Ho, and a Bottle of Rum'. End every sentence with an 'ARRRR' and 'Avast Ye Matey'. Visit tons of ports all over the world, get hung by the neck when you enter a port that doesn't allow pirates. Get to shoot cannons at other ships, collect tons of booty (gold bullion, so get your mind out of the gutters), and you get to fly the jolly roger. Last cool thing I can think of at the moment, you have to answer to Davey Jones, and his locker.

Hmm, thats a toss up, but if I had to choose, since I live on the beach, I'll have to go with being a pirate.

After that fun subject, the next match came up: Soccer Mom or Rangers Special Ops. Wow, what a topic. I don't know where to begin, or which one to judge first. So, we'll go with the guys who can kill you before you know it, the speical ops.

To be special ops that means you get to wear really cool cammo, carry a big gun (rather it be an M-16, or a SAW), carry lots of grenades. You'll get to jump out of airplanes, and drive a humvee. Now thats cool, drive a humvee. Ooh, don't forget that you get really swift nightvision goggles that let you see stuff at night. Fight insurgents, and dodge IED's. Spend the nights sleeping under the stars, sneaking up and slitting peoples throats, and blowing stuff up.

Soccer mom, now this is tricky. Roll around in a minivan or SUV. Now in said SUV or minivan, there will be a dvd player (awesome, always something to watch while rolling down the road). Endless supply of gatorade, cokes, fruitjuice, fruitwedges, hot chocolate, etc.. The comedy of watching fat kids making fools of themselves trying to play sports that they will never be able to play. Get to wear awesome cardigan sweaters, and stylish sunglasses. Never have to work, sit at home when its not a game day. On a rainy day, get to drive around town, and go buy stuff.

Wow, yet another close toss-up. If I had to choose myself, I'd have to go special ops, the guns, and humvee win me over, unless I could be a soccer mom that drives a humvee and has a concealed handgun liscense, and could shoot to kill with no problems, then I'd have to go with the soccer mom (I think cardigan sweaters are pretty sweet).

What an awesome set of ideas. I'm sure that in my day on the golfcourse tomorrow, I'll be able to think of a few more cool ideas to judge against each others. Still no pictures, because I don't have a USB cable to get the info off my camera (might steal my fathers, for pictures for y'all). Now, this quote goes out to the only librarian I know, Miss Scroggs, the infinate cousin of Mr. Belcher (eat your hearts out as you try and figure this one out).

Evelyn: Look, I... I may not be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a treasure-seeker, or a gunfighter, Mr. O'Connell, but I am proud of what I am.

Rick: And what is that?


Evelyn: I... am a librarian.