The Pain, The Pain.

Can there be a more excruciating pain than what I'm experiencing at this moment. Wow, who took theLouisville Slugger to my back? Did I cross someone in the mob? C'mon! Just a little sympathy please (that or just make my back feel better). So I sit here and try to write something funny, because I am being hounded by those (my public) who are in thralls because I haven't posted in a while. So here I am, at the behest of my public, writing in pain (the tears are flowing down my face).

Talk about being lost (no pun intended, but wow, that was lame and very pun-ish), but right now while trying to relieve this pain in my back, I am watching the show 'Lost'. Just how confusing can a show be? I'm sure that there can be even more confusing shows. (I know, not funny yet, but my back hurts). So, I really don't understand all that is going on, besides the arab being held captive by the hispanic with a gun (not trying to be racist, but I don't know their names). I think I'll change the channel.

For christmas, my father gave me a pellet gun (to shoot the cats). This wasn't a predicted, expected or even needed gift, but its the thought that counts (what thought that is, I don't know, maybe to torment the cats, we'll find out). That's a negative Ghostrider, the pattern is full (sorry, but this will be all the blog you, my public, will get while I hurt). Maybe tomorrow, maybe the pain will disipate. We shall see.

Listen. Since I've met you I've nearly been incinerated, drowned, shot at, and chopped into fish bait. We're caught in the middle of something sinister here, my guess is dad found out more than he was looking for and until I'm sure, I'm going to continue to do things the way I think they should be done.

Retractions, an apology, and an All Around of Feeling Miserable

For those of you who follow my rambles, y'all know that I post nearly every day, as long as I have access to internet. Well, in the past 2 days, I've posted once, and if you are asking where it went, I'll explain, but there are things that lead up to that.

Ok, have you ever had one of those days that makes you go, "I'm sure that if I were to vanish, would people really care?" Today is definitely one of those days (which really sucks considering its the holiday season). So what can make your day feel as such you ask? Where do I begin?

The weather was gorgeous (not the reason for one of those days), but it would seem that if there was a bad bounce on the golf course, it had drastic effects on my ball. Rouge pile of leaves? Ate my ball. Tiny limb between freedom and prison, knocking me deeper into the abyss that is the woods. It was with out a doubt, this was the first inkling that I should have not gotten out of bed.

From the golf course (where again, I was pathetic), we head out to eat for our yearly Christmas Eve lunch at a local eatery. While there (which we arrived half an hour before the restaurant actually closed), the Cowboys game was on, and everyone in my family was enthralled in the action. I found myself keeping quiet, an listening to them talk about the game. Food comes (crazy, it happens whenever I order food at restaurants, people bring it to you), and I go for the salsa (yep, mexican food, whoopie..uh sure), but find out it has vanished. How can a bowl of salsa move if I haven't touched it? Simple, it was taken from me by my sister. A reasonable response would be, "did you take my salsa?" (not a rude, inappropriate question), and leading a verbal attack from my father. Getting in trouble for something that I am nothing at fault for. Day continues to get worse (how can it pour so much on you when its clear and 65 outside?) and I find myself really detesting life and the holiday season.

After lunch, I head to my grandparents, where the only reprieve occurs, I sweep the roof our our shop (no more leaves on it). I get to spend time with my grandparents, watch a little tv with them, and finish wrapping the final presents. I leave by 9, and call a friend (out of a few that I am close enough to wish them a Merry Christmas), it was nice to talk to her. Really do miss people in Corpus, and I'll be back (maybe).

Now onto why there is a missing post, or if you have read, why 'Oh the Things I Saw', it seems that when relying on some close friends good nature, and being great sports, I apparently crossed the line. Wasn't my goal, intention, or even thought. I was banking on their great sense of humor to carry on the prank. Mission Failed. That sucked (now I'm buried under 5 miles of snow and a feeling of complete failure as a friend). I sincerely apologize about the 'stunt', and I aim to apologize to those who are involved, and I intend to also apologize face to face. Until then, the low I feel, only towers over the fine coat of dust that settles on a cleanly mopped floor. In the immortal words of 'The Simpsons' comicbook guy, "worst day EVER!" Yeah, that bad. Anyone know where I can find some traffic to go jump in? (preferably heavy and constant, full of 18 wheelers). Until then, I may not post, for the foreseeable future (might be the last post EVER). For that, I am looking for a rock to go hide under.

It's Christmas Eve. It's-it's the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we-we-we smile a little easier, we-w-w-we-we-we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year we are the people that we always hoped we would be. So you've got a program featuring America's favorite old fart. Reading a book in front of a fireplace. Now, I have to kill all of you.

Talk of Weasels?!

*yawn* Some days just don't pay. Others, pay out of the yin yang. Today was one of those days where the line was extremely borderline. While running errands with my mother, she came up with the bonzo idea, get me a ferret. A weasel? That would be interesting. That's alot of trouble a critter like that would get me into. Who knows. We'll have to wait and see, but we did go look at some ferret pups. Those things are mean. Wow, what can I say? The 'nicest' one chewed the tar out of my hand. We'll see if I get one, but the way they're talking, its either a.) a ferret, or b.) a 32 inch TV. What a toss up. I'll keep y'all posted.

Apparently, Agent 37 is out causing mayhem again. He has something in the works with Agent H. Now it seems that Captain Charisma will have to get off his laurels, and crash the mayhaminess that is being planned. Hmm, what can be done? Espionage? Call the authorities? Sit back and just wait to see what happens? Luckily I'm lazy, so that means I'll just sit back and watch to see what happens. Even though I'm in the know without being in the know (that and I'm 418 miles too far north, so kind of hard to spy). So, here's to waiting to see what happens, again.

They all have husbands and wives and children and houses and dogs, and, you know, they've all made themselves a part of something and they can talk about what they do. What am I gonna say? "I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How've you been?"

Ugh. So Much for the Christmas Spirit

Have we fallen as a society that people lose their civility during the holiday season? Wow, it is amazing. Walking through the mall parking lot, my mother and I were nearly run over multiple times by motorists just flying around the parking lot. It was kinda crazy. Finally, I accepted the task, if I got hit, I was going to leave a huge dent in their bumper (remember, I'm big and ugly!). People cut you off while walking through the mall, give you dirty looks, push you out of the way as they are walking. It just blows me away. People forget what this season is about, well, I know actually the ACLU is out there to blame. What better way for the enemy to shake our faith, than make us embrace the evils of capitolism? Ah well, we all love presents. Just remember, its better to give than recieve (except when it comes to VD). Sometimes it makes you want to just punch the next person in the face that doesn't have the holiday spirit, and say, "Straighten up Scrooge!". Really a holiday thing to do, but still, punch them in the face!

It gets interesting to be back home. Running into people I haven't seen people in a few years, and they come up to say hi. Because I've never had facial hair before, they kind of freeze when they come up to me, to re assess whether or not its really me. Like I'm some kind of crazy killer...(insert comedic joke here). Speaking of crazy. I'm bringing back guns with me to Corpus. Since Mark has moved, I'm scared, and no longer feel safe. I blame his smuggling past. Never know when the asian mafia will come when they lose their easy patsy. That, or he actually stole money from them, but he might not be that bright. Never hurts to be armed to the teeth though.

Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny stinking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white butt down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.

One Week til Christmas

Tonight was the first night that I was able to see my Packers play a game. Now I know why they're a listful 3-10 (3-11 after tonight), they are just plain aweful. I don't blame it on the great ageless one under center, Brett is still the man. Always was, always is. I hope that he comes back for one more season, The NFL isn't ready for him to go just yet (neither am I, because I hope that they play in Dallas again next season, maybe Stephen Diaz and I can go and he'll buy the tickets). Regardless they played aweful tonight, no spirit, nothing. It really made the night kind of boring due to them playing very bad, and I was looking foward to watching them kill the Ravens. Maybe next year, next year.

So, while moping around because my Packers were playing aweful, I scooped up the hometown newspaper, and looked at the movie theater listings, and what did I find to boost my morale? On the day that they are releasing Serenity on DVD (Dec. 20th! Happy day indeed!) The second and newest dollar theater (50 cents before 6 pm) is playing Serenity. So at 12:20 tomorrow, I will be going to see the movie! What a joy! I might go every day this week, til I get the movie on DVD. This makes me very happy indeed.

In other news, I got a new person to comment on my blog. While searching random blogs on blogger, I found a blog of a teacher in NYC, and the only reason I posted was because she was from Texas, and was curious to find out where she was from (fortunatly, curiosity doesn't kill the beaver). Well, she posted back, and crazy thing is, she's originally from Corpus. That was crazy. Just a random thing. Maybe she'll come back and comment again (I want atleast 5 people to comment on my blog to get the list up to 20 total comments).

Le' gave away my Christmas present, all because a girl gave him a kiss. I didn't know he'd betray me like that. Well I know that he didn't betray me, but I can give him grief. What would life be like if I didn't give him greif. It would be nice to know what all my good friends are doing for the holidays, since no one has really told me (I haven't asked either, but thats not my responsibilty).

Ok, new twist to yesterdays toss up. Instead of an actual profession, what kind of video game character would you be? Dig-Dug or the guy from Pitfall?

Hmmm, Pitfall, lets see, you run around on one of four screens. You jump on/over alligators in a pond, swing on a rope over a pit, an open plain, go underground, and jump over snakes and scorpions. You find one chest of gold. A very interesting life. Not very dangerous, if you think that alligators, scorpions, and snakes are not scary. You also gain no points, find that there is no time limit, or goal in life as a character in this original game (on Atari).

Ok, now Dig-Dug. What a guy. Dig around in the dirt, chase enemies and pump them full of air til they pop. You face either an underground fire breathing dragon, or a weird looking guy in an orange suit, wearing ski goggles. You can dig out dirt under a rock and get more points if you get the rock to drop on your enemies. Crushing people....FUN!

So after careful consideration, and playing some video games for research purposes of course, I'm going to have to say that I'd choose the life of DIg-Dug. Making people explode is fun, plus you get bonus points for crushing them with boulders. Since in Pitfall, you have no purpose in life, which would be NO FUN. None whats so ever.

Maybe next time I'll do cartoon characters, or tv characters. Only if I can come up with some funny ones to toss up together. Feel free to give me suggestions, and I'll toss 'em up.

Now I know that some of you put Flick up to this, but he has refused to say who. But those who did it know their blame, and I'm sure that the guilt you must feel would be far worse than any punishment you might receive. Now, don't you feel terrible? Don't you feel remorse for what you have done? Well, that's all I'm going to say about poor Flick.

Toss Up Time Kiddies!

Ah yes, Saturdays home in East Texas. Know what that means? I got to play golf all day long. I know, I know, I'm special. Life could be worse, I could have not been able to play golf today, that would have been bad. I'd have been very cranky, and we know how I handle being cranky.

I was talking to a friend tonight, and the topic came up, which group would be better: ninjas or pirates? So let us break it down....

To be a ninja means that you get to wear really cool black outfits, and nifty masks. sneak around killin folk without remorse, carry swords, sharp throwing star looking thingys, beastly cool ninja skills, karate masters, wearing really cool outfits, come out of the woodworks and kill people. Did I mention that knumchucks? (I better watch what I say, I'm starting to sound a bit like Napoleon Dynomite, which is not cool). Let's see, oh yeah, get to throw smoke bombs to make dramatic entrances and exits.

To be a pirate means that you get to dress like a, well, a pirate. Get to wear an eye patch, have a parrot sit on your shoulder, carry a sword. Go swashbuckling, drink, be merry, sail on a really awesome ship. Sing 'Yo Ho Ho, and a Bottle of Rum'. End every sentence with an 'ARRRR' and 'Avast Ye Matey'. Visit tons of ports all over the world, get hung by the neck when you enter a port that doesn't allow pirates. Get to shoot cannons at other ships, collect tons of booty (gold bullion, so get your mind out of the gutters), and you get to fly the jolly roger. Last cool thing I can think of at the moment, you have to answer to Davey Jones, and his locker.

Hmm, thats a toss up, but if I had to choose, since I live on the beach, I'll have to go with being a pirate.

After that fun subject, the next match came up: Soccer Mom or Rangers Special Ops. Wow, what a topic. I don't know where to begin, or which one to judge first. So, we'll go with the guys who can kill you before you know it, the speical ops.

To be special ops that means you get to wear really cool cammo, carry a big gun (rather it be an M-16, or a SAW), carry lots of grenades. You'll get to jump out of airplanes, and drive a humvee. Now thats cool, drive a humvee. Ooh, don't forget that you get really swift nightvision goggles that let you see stuff at night. Fight insurgents, and dodge IED's. Spend the nights sleeping under the stars, sneaking up and slitting peoples throats, and blowing stuff up.

Soccer mom, now this is tricky. Roll around in a minivan or SUV. Now in said SUV or minivan, there will be a dvd player (awesome, always something to watch while rolling down the road). Endless supply of gatorade, cokes, fruitjuice, fruitwedges, hot chocolate, etc.. The comedy of watching fat kids making fools of themselves trying to play sports that they will never be able to play. Get to wear awesome cardigan sweaters, and stylish sunglasses. Never have to work, sit at home when its not a game day. On a rainy day, get to drive around town, and go buy stuff.

Wow, yet another close toss-up. If I had to choose myself, I'd have to go special ops, the guns, and humvee win me over, unless I could be a soccer mom that drives a humvee and has a concealed handgun liscense, and could shoot to kill with no problems, then I'd have to go with the soccer mom (I think cardigan sweaters are pretty sweet).

What an awesome set of ideas. I'm sure that in my day on the golfcourse tomorrow, I'll be able to think of a few more cool ideas to judge against each others. Still no pictures, because I don't have a USB cable to get the info off my camera (might steal my fathers, for pictures for y'all). Now, this quote goes out to the only librarian I know, Miss Scroggs, the infinate cousin of Mr. Belcher (eat your hearts out as you try and figure this one out).

Evelyn: Look, I... I may not be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a treasure-seeker, or a gunfighter, Mr. O'Connell, but I am proud of what I am.

Rick: And what is that?


Evelyn: I... am a librarian.

I'm Rambling

Today was something crazy. I was doing yard work (everyone pick your jaws off the ground, I actually do work), and I got to thinking, this is my last semester of undergrad. How crazy is that? I've spent 7 years working at it, most people are called doctors. Well, if y'all like, refer to me as Dr. Nick. "Hi everybody!" No one can hate on a Hank Azzeria character, well maybe McBaine, but if you do, he might kill you.

Leaves, leaves everywhere. I have never seen so many leaves in my life (actually I have, since I grew up here, but I'm being literary). The amount of leaves we picked up off the ground didn't even equal the number of leaves still in the trees. Tomorrow, if I can find a way to get pictures off my camera, I'll share with all of y'all. Until then, take my word for it.

I missed the snow last Christmas in Corpus, but I might not miss it this year. They're calling for snow on Tuesday, and I'm praying against it. That white stuff is not conductive to golf. Its sad to think that I've been in Longview for 3 days, and I have yet to play golf. It's pretty bad. I do get tv at home. I'm enjoying watching tv before I fall asleep. I almost can't contain myself.

Wow, I'm rambling. I probably have everyone so lost that they're trying to jump off cliffs like lemmings. Have no fear, I'm right behind you, because I'm just as lost. Too bad I don't have hold music for y'all to listen to while I think of what to write about. That, or just hit the publish post link. Let's go with click on publish. Click, click, click. I'm sorry that I'm going to miss the painting of a house (actually, maybe its the fear of a paint bucket getting stuck on my head). Seems whenever I do outdoor painting, my head ends up in a bucket (hopefully, it won't be a lead based paint this time). I'll keep y'all posted on my whereabouts, and whereado's (made that one up).

You watch those nature documentaries on the cable? You see the one about lions? You got this lion. He's the king of the jungle, huge mane out to here. He's laying under a tree, in the middle of Africa. He's so big, it's so hot. He doesn't want to move. Now the little lions come, they start messing with him. Biting his tail, biting his ears. He doesn't do anything. The lioness, she starts messing with him. Coming over, making trouble. Still nothing. Now the other animals, they notice this. They start to move in. The jackals; hyenas. They're barking at him, laughing at him. They nip his toes, and eat the food that's in his domain. They do this, then they get closer and closer, bolder and bolder. Till one day, that lion gets up and tears the shit out of everybody. Runs like the wind, eats everything in his path. Cause every once in a while, the lion has to show the jackals, who he is.

Day 2 in God's Kountry

Ah, the second full day of vacation. It is really nice to be home, nice to be with family, but no fun because two of my closest friends won't be in from South Bend Indiana, until next Wednsday. That means I must spend time with my family (yay?). Ah, who can complain, my family is a good family. They make fun of me, ride me like a pack mule, beat me with a broom stick, uh and I sai that they were a good family? I must be crazy they abuse me. Guess that makes me a case of nuture over nature. Ah, they are a good family, I wouldn't trade them for the world, well, maybe to be a Bush, only for political aspirations. Politics are fun. If I knew how to put a poll on my blog, I'd do it...so, if anyone knows how, tell me. Then again, the poll would have 3 maybe 4 votes on it, and I know what the answers would be. I think. People I know are predictable.

(side note: Le' has a book of Krav Maga, geurilla street fighting developed by the Israeli army, and I learned the proper pronuciation, Krav Ma-GAH: again, just a side note.)

King Kong was a good movie, Peter Jackson is just friggen awesome. Next project? Halo. Should be interesting. 10 more days til Christmas. I can't wait, no telling what kind of loot I'll bring back to Corpus. I can't wait to get back to Corpus. Who'd have thought I'd ever had said anything like that, but its true. We'll see what happens. All I know is it is friggen cold out side. A reason why south Texas is nicer than East Texas, and its the only one that I've found. You don't have to rake leaves in south Texas, it also helps that there are no trees there. I've been doing a bit of studying, and apparently, I've found something: There is one strikingly amazing similarity between women and fish...they're both attracted to shiney objects. What a heck of a discovery. I might get a Nobel prize. Here's crossing my fingers, and throwing my hat into the ring.

How's the turtle Mrs. Stubbs? Did your kids ever figure out you switched turtles on them because I know it would be a major disappointment for them to find out.

Someone Stoled my Thunder

HAHA! I've posted twice in one day! It's been quite a while since I've done that. This is extremely quick, in the last post, I stoled Le's thunder. Unfortunatly, someone else did a better job of stealing thunder. Check out what this Richardson teacher told her 1st graders. Man, thats just harsh, but I'd do it, I don't like kids.

Twenty five years ago, an ancient legend of this sacred art came alive. It spoke of a foreign child who would come among us and become a Ninja master unlike any other. How he arrived on our shores will forever remain a mystery. We Ninjas thought that this child would be the great white Ninja of the legend. We were wrong. We were very wrong.

Just Call me Thor, I'm Stealing Thunder!

Ok, so I made it safe and sound back to Longview. No problems, although I saw quite a few people who were pulled over by state troopers, and their cars being searched. Drug dogs hard at work. Guess you could say that they were working real hard on their Christmas bonuses. Luckily, they didn't view me as the type to be a drug runner (aren't I lucky, good thing they didn't find the 5 kilos I hid in my luggage). Not really, because if I did, then my money problems would be null and void. Anyways, I want to wish all of my friends a (hope I don't get sued, because this won't be politically correct, then again, have I ever been concerned about being politically correct? NEVER!) Merry Christmas, but not a Happy New Year, because I'll be there in person to wish you all that. Got it? Good.

So, I have to blame Le' for this one. Last week (something like that) Le' introduced me to a band from Georgia called Family Force 5. Nothing like southern country rock. Well, even though I refuse to sign up to myspace, i.e., the free porn station (see my previous post), but I did go through his blog to find their page. Well, before he can talk about their newest video, I'll do it (hahaha, I stoled your thunder!). The only reason for this is that they re-did a southern Christmas classic, 'Grandma Gots Runned Over by a Reindeer'. Any country boy has to love the song, but this is just, well, funny. C'mon, click it, watch it, laugh at it, and also remember, I stoled Le's thunder! HAHA.

Well, the quote game found a cheater amongst the contestants. Actually, the cheater confessed to cheating. The dirty bugger. Next time I see the cheater, I'll swat him/her. Not going to label the cheater, because it could be detrimental to their credibility. Can't be havin that happen, being their 'henchman' and all (dangit now I've gone and done it, given the person away). Oh well, thats what they get for CHEATING! In the spirit of the game, it will continue. Mystery cheater, you'll get a warning, consider it a stiff reprimand. This is no slap on the wrist, but a swift kick in the rear. Sorry that I stoled your thunder earlier (crap, I did it again! Me and my big mouth).

So, I got me some work while I'm here. I'm re-tinning our shop. Don't know my hourly rate, or how long it will take me (its manual labor, which I detest, but its a job). Hope that I don't lose a finger, it will be hard work, but think of all the strength I'll be building. I'll be a beast. Ok, maybe not in a week and a half of working, but here's me thinking it might happen. We'll see.

Um, what my associate is trying to say is that our new brake pads are really cool. You're not even gonna believe it. Let's say you're driving along the road with your family. You're driving along... La-de-da, woo... Suddenly there's a truck tire in the middle of the road. Eeeee! Whoa, that was close. Now let's see what happens when you're driving with the "other guy's" brake pads. You're driving along... You're driving along. The kids are yelling from the back seat, "I gotta go to the bathroom, Daddy!" "Not now, dammit!" There's a truck tire. Eeee! I can't stop! Aaaah! There's a cliff! Aaaah! And your family's screaming, "Oh, my God, we're burning alive! I can't feel my legs!" Here comes the meat wagon. And the medic gets out and says, "Oh, my God!" The new guy's around the corner puking his guts out. All because...You wanna save a couple extra pennies. And to me, that doesn't...

A Quick Word Before the Road

Ah, the frantic post. Got to love them. I'm writting shortly before I hit the road to Longview. Just want to say a few things before I go. I've been down here in Corpus for about three years now, and in that time I've found a church, and a bevy of great friends that are unreplaceable. Life is great. Now if only I had a 'real' job, life would be awesome (that will come in time).

Out of the 330 bucks I spent on books, I got a total of 84 back. What a rip. Thats life. The open road. Here I come.

One change that will be different when I get back the day after christmas, Mark will be gone, the house will be different for ever now. Mark will be missed (every group needs a Butters). I wish him well, may God bless him, and his walk grow closer to him. To all I'll post again tonight when I return home (no longer a place of 56k hell, but now cable internet!).

This quote seems right for going on a 7 hour drive:

Well, I got a 426 hemi here, 3/4 cams, nitro boosters, I can get 'er up to as good as 155! Never do, though, of course, unless I'm chasing a cute chick in a Ferrari! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I guess I was goin' about... 65, tops.

Still Finals Season (Somebody Please Shoot Me)

Ah, Friday is here. The 9th. What a glorious day. At this very moment in Lipezg Germany, the powers that be are drawing lots to see who plays who in the 2006 World Cup. An exciting day indeed. Who will the mighty US face come June 9th? Wait and see, as the draw continues. We all (ok, just me because I'm a diehard soccer fan, but play along guys), hold our collective breathes to see the outcome. Coincidentally, a prayer of mine is being lifted up. Should there be a G.C. Ops mission sent to Germany for a month? Do a little streep evangelism to the world on the world stage that is the World Cup? Only God knows the answer to that, but that would be an awesome prayer to be answered.

Other prayers that are out there have yet to be answered, or most likely, interpreted by yours truly. I can be a bit dense (stop laughing guys, that really hurts my feelings). Mark is still moving to Florida. Can't change anything about that, nor do I plan to try. He needs to spread his wings, but I am still on the hunt for a new roommate. Any takers? Just send me an application (feel free to greese my hand with a few extra twenty dollar bills, and you might move to the front of the line). Now on to a new section that we're adding today....What things that annoy the mess out of me.

Ok, here we go, things that annoy the mess out of me (its a top 5 list, starting with No.5):

5. People that say they're sorry when there is nothing to be sorry about. If you have to say you're sorry to me, atleast walk up, and kick me in the shin, then you'd have something to be sorry for.
4. Finding out information second hand when it deals with me. The last thing I need to have is someone having important information for me, but I don't find out from them, I hear it from 3 other people. Just talk to me, I might look mean and ugly, but I'm as cuddly as a Polar Bear near a fresh kill.
3. People flaunting their wealth over other people. Ok, this one here is directed towards Mr. Rose, who last week, flaunted his new found amounts of cash to buy himself new shirts infront of Le', and myself. Knowing full well that we had to scrounge up thirty bucks to pay for those ugly tuxes. Pure evil that Mr. Rose, pure evil. Come to think of it, the movie should have been named 'The Attempted Exorcism of Chris Rose' (that has a ring to it, rich jerk).
2. Women telling me that they just want to be friends. What is with that? Why not tell me I have to wash my hair, or that you'd rather go play in toxic waste? Why lie to me and tell me you just want to be my friend? I have tons of friends. Look at me, I'm a fun loving guy who is always cheery, and never has a bad attitude. I have tons of friends....ok, maybe I shouldn't complain, it never hurts to have extra friends, especially female friends, because they might have really good looking friends that they can introduce me to, that don't want to 'just be friends', who knows?
1. Walking into the Library on campus, and nearly EVERY student in there is working on their facebook/myspace accounts. These posting rings are nothing more than a place for people to post pornography, and get cheap hookups with out the restrictions. What the crap is that about? Why can't there be moral decentcy? Atleast my blog is clean. The only bad thing you might see in mine is the occasional 'hell' or 'bastard', nothing more. Then again, thats just me.

That concluded the top 5 things that annoy the mess out of me. Hope y'all enjoyed.

Tonight, 'The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe' opens and I make my bigscreen debut. We all know that I am Mr. Beaver (I played the character during the church preformance, it was awesome). Now, if I could only get a check for my apperance. I won't hold my breath. Two finals to go. One take home, the other, well, I'll have to go to class for that one. If I didn't have that one, I'd be going home today. Make it in time to make the Saturday morning choose-up. Ah well, I'll be home Tuesday.

Mr. President, we have to give bears the right to vote... or bears will rise up and then BEARS will be in congress and we will be the ones performing in the circus, wearing little hats.

It's Begining To Look A Lot Like Finals.....

Well, if it isn't the time of year I truly detest (wait, what time of the year do I not detest)? Finals. The end of the semester when professors enjoy torturing students with mundane tests, acting like we were supposed to learn something during the year. How aweful is that? Ah well, we must comply (or do we?). I find myself up on campus already at 8:30 this morning so I can "study". As you can plainly see, I sure amy studying my eyeballs out (and my typing fingers to boot). I'll get the gumption to study here in a minute when I go put a dollar on my sanddollar to print out the appropriate handouts (the school just enjoys taking all my money from me, however possible). I think I'll be heading home sooner than originally planned. Arrival in Longview wasn't expected until next Friday (so I could be ready for the choose-up on Saturday), but now in light of other events that have come up, I think after my final on Tuesday, barring I have to go to work, I'll be leaving town for a couple of weeks (can probably get some work done at home and get money for it). I'll keep all of you posted.

I got a text message this morning, but I can not read it. My cell phone screen does not work, and therefore I have no idea who sent this message to me (although I think I have an idea, it was probably my sister to tell me the Rangers traded Alfonso Soriano to Washington). But if it wasn't her, and mystery textmessenger-er type person, please let me know by posting here, or giving me a call, since I CAN'T READ WHAT YOU SENT ME!?!?!

As an announcement, streaking through the quad tonite has been cancled due to cold weather. Thank you, that was simply an announcement.

Tony and myself are now on the lookout for a new roommate, and are taking applications. No telling who we'll find to fill the spot, again, any suggestions can be left in the suggestion box. We'll respond like we do with everyone elses suggestions. I'll walk up and kick you in the shin and laugh evily (thats my m.o.). Time for me to "study".

Now its time for everyones favorite game, name the movie I quoted (of course, hardly anyone plays)

Woman... woe-man... whoooa-man. She was a thief, you got to believe, she stole my heart and my cat. Judy, Betty, Josie and those hot Pussycats... they made me horny, on Saturday morn-y... girls of cartoo-ins will leave me in ruins... I want to to be Betty's Barney. Jane... get me off this crazy thing... called love.

Things That I May (or May Not) Do

Hmph. Humbug. That's all that I can think to say at this moment. I have been tagged. As Mr. Cowan put it, others out there trying to hijack my blog. Honestly?! Someone wants to hijack my blog? The sanctity of my most inner rantings, the place where my manic state finds solice to speak whatever it can think of? Never! But I will tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to list 5 odd things that I may/may not do (Atleast that I haven't been convicted of). So where do I begin? Lets see...Ok, I got one, I may (or may not) run barebottom through the neighbors sprinklers in the middle of the night. If you must know, the temperature has really dropped the past few evenings, so that makes it a little hard to go and do that kind of running. Again, I state, these are odd things that I may (or may not) do.

And now a comment from my sponsors:

My mother gave me the entire second season of M*A*S*H, and well I've become addicted to it. KInda scary. Hawkeye, Pierce, Radar, Major Burns, what hilarity. Gee, I need a hobby, but if anyone sees seasons 1, 3-9, feel free to pick them up for me, I'll give you a hardy handshake as payment for doing such a great deed for me.

Now back to the show

A second thing that is odd that I may (or may not) do, is that I like to go into the HEB plus, and take my own personal Cherpa with me. We all know that the store is like walking into a foreign country. They give you a map for pete's sake! Again, this is something that, say it with me now, I may (or may not) do.

More words from my sponsors

Finals are comming up, and that means, selling books. What a racket that is. The bookstore is cleaning house here. Talking about a profit. These people have the gall to sell you a book for over a hundred bucks, but at the end of a semester, they'll pay you a hefty 13% of what you originally paid (and we all know that the books I sell back are still in the original factory syran wrap, and in pristeen condition).

Back to the show once more

The third thing that is odd that I may (or may not) do is go to the bookstore when selling my books back, and do my best "Lets Make A Deal" impersinaiton. What better to do to people that steal your britches off your bottom while smiling at you, than make a complete fool of yourself in the process? I try to hagle with them. Talk them up in price. Its never worked, and once they may (or may not) have decided not to buy my book back at all. Can you believe that? Its organized crime if you ask me. Where's the FBI to take care of this?! MY TAX DOLLARS AND TUITION AT WORK HERE!

Last word from my sponsor

Mark got into seminary. I will be supportive, but that also means I need to find a new room mate. I like how these things happen all at the same time. I'm already hurting for money since I'm having a hell of a time at work (if they allow me to actually come in and earn a paycheck). Now, that redheaded moron is going into the seminary in Florida. I'll wish him well, but who knows, in 3 weeks, he'll probably be calling looking for sympathy, just like he did when he moved to Dallas. Who knows, but I will still support him.

Back to the show

The last thing that I may (or may not) do is constantly say, here are things that I may (or may not ) do. I'm sure that has to be a really odd thing to do. I know that I'm not as creative as Mr. Cowan, or good looking as Mr. Belcher, but I can be annoying. I'm like a mosquito that buzzes in your ear on a warm spring evening. That or the ant pile you sit in while trying to have a picnic. I'm always there, and you feel my presence. Now, as far as tagging other people, that I refuse to do. Instead, I will run around, and smack people with a book, and tell them to do so. I like that alot better. We'll see how that goes (keeping my fingers crossed).

Dr. Egon Spengler: There's something very important I forgot to tell you.
Dr. Peter Venkman: What?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Don't cross the streams.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Why?
Dr. Egon Spengler: It would be bad.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, "bad?"
Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Dr. Ray Stantz: Total protonic reversal.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Right. That's bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.

Hockey!

Well, hasn't it been an interesting time since I've last posted for my adoring throngs of fans? I do sincerely appologize, if I have let any of you down. So here's the lowdown. My mother, who was so kind as to grace us with her presence this past weekend has headed back up north to the pineywoods (I really did enjoy her visit, although, she was not short of trying to embarass me at every turn, but thats life). It was a fun week. I got to be a driver for her, which I suppose is payback for the 15 years she had to do it for me, again, thats life. My prediction though, about her buying me dinner 3 nites did not come true. I took a lowball figure I suppose. Not only did I get 3 free meals each night, but I also recieved a free lunch, tank of gas, and money. Gee, I sure do have a great mommy (thats the obligitory kissing up that I'm required to do by law, but I might go for some extra credit later). I was sad to see her go, but then I realized, I'll be home in a couple of weeks so no sad feelings for me.

World Domination bowed out with a crash from the intermural cup finals Thursday. We failed to capture the title in overtime, and took a humbling 4-3 defeat. We'll try again the next chance we get, but I might hang the boots up permenantly (I'm getting to old for this game). I'll stick to golf. Worst that can happen is what is in that picture. Never, ever, EVER! get your face between a driver and where it will stop. It really hurts. I kid you not.
But golf seems to be my best bet for fun. C'mon, I'm a 4 handicap, I can shoot in the low 70's regularly, now if I could just get the church to assign me as the pastor of golf ministries, I could play at the countryclub for a mere $200 a month (finding $200, is teh second step to worry about, but until then, being able to recieve that kind of deal is first and upmost a priority). The plan also has Le' learning how to play golf better than his seagull hitting, wretched swinging, but beautiful putting ways (no lie, the man can putt). If I go pro, I'll remember you all. Especially Le, I'll need a caddie to carry my golf clubs everywhere I go, plus, someone to make me look really good when I try to hustle people out of money.

Wow, tons of rambling here, but its fun! Friday, we were fitted for Chris Rose's wedding. Turns out I'm too fat to attend. What a bummer. After dinner with my mom at Chili's (where I took her to meet Anna, because she and I had a blossoming relationship that was ready for that next step: meeting my mom), the gang went and watched 'Aeon Flux'. As soon as I figure out what the movie was about, I'll be glad to post about it, but until then, I'll scratch my head, and just sit there with a glazed look on my face (then again, what else is new?). Saturday, hockey! Hockey, hockey, hockey! Man, I love hockey. Forechecks, crosschecks, bounced checks...err, crosschecks! Fun game with the gang. We cheer, we heckeled (ok, I heckeled, and as soon as Le' can format it, I'll post whatever I can of me yelling at Dolson, the visiting teams goalie). I ate three hotdogs, drank a coke, and yelled out my hearts content. We even got the blimp to come to us during the first intermission. The free gift we caught, free small pizza at Beamers (ironic since we've eaten there the past month, but enjoy the food none the less). Did I fail to mention hockey is great? Well it is.

Sunday, we did that church thing, which we do so well. Le' preaches, the band plays, I mess up the powerpoint because I just dont' understand music, but no one is complaining. Got to meet yet another one of the Belcher clan. Stephanie Scroggs, Jakobs second cousin, half removed from his uncle's pancreas, twice removed from his 5th aunts benign lymphnode, or something like that (I need a map just to be able to tell you how they're related, but I take their word on it that they are). She's a nice girl. Puts up with Jakob, but thats not a hard task. A T-rex and a giant orangatan can get along in harmony, regardless of what those nature channels say. Did I mention that I proved that I'm a complete moron? Oh, I did? Wait, what do you mean I do it on a daily basis? Thats just plain mean.....anyways, remind me to forget the words to 'Ice, ice baby'. I sound like a fool doing it (then again, I sound like a fool when my mouth is running anyways).

Snowball fight at church this comming sunday. I'm going to nail Le' between the eyes. Well maybe not, because Jenny is a really scary person if you make her mad, and I don't want to do that. Til we meet again in my little cyber world.

Ladies and gentlemen, I won't sugarcoat it; I've seen road kill with better reflexes.

Oh, yeah, mother, click here to get firefox for the new computer.

Tis Hoorah! Tis Hoorah!

Oh my, oh my, oh my! Haven't I become a popular one!? This is truely amazing! I so enjoy people posting on my blog. Makes me feel like I might be cool (lets not push the envelope here). I've had up to 7 different people post on my blog! Even a friend from back in the ole' viewtown area (not sure how she found thi....oh wait, it was Xanga I'm betting, but it was awesome none the less). Keep those comments comming. I love it! So, Sunday night, I had the fortune to check Miss Christiensen through a mic stand. Broke the thing clean through. I should have played in the NHL, because I can hit like a mack truck (wow, my ego is really getting up there). At least things are slowly getting better.

I'm back at my old job, because business is picking up and they asked me back. Don't know how long that I'll stay though because I am really chapped, and I feel that I'm being called to leave. Yet, I have no job lined up, and I was prepared to take a leap of faith, and know that God will provide, but in the process of informing my parents, they blew a gasket, or atleast a couple of anurysims. Can't have my folks dieing on me, that wouldn't sit well. Sometimes I wish that I had the spiritual support at home that I do here (I feel like I let my family down because of how I hold true to my walk, and they've wandered off {not looking for sympathy, just stating a fact}). My mother went as far to say that she thinks its the church's fault that I've changed my ways (no sexual immorality, alcohol, or anything else that is displeasing to God). No one in my family likes it how I came to Corpus, hellbent on becoming an Occupational Therapist, and now, I really haven't a clue what I'm going to do after I graduate in the spring (come on! I'm finally graduating! Be happy for me!). It just burns. So back to me going to work, I had planned on turning in my 2 weeks notice today, but since I got such major resistance from my family, and since they do float me a couple hundred each month, pay for insurance, and my phone bill, that silly commandment God decreed about honoring your mother and your father, made me choose to not resign (atleast til I have a job lined up). This is a cut that really hurts. My mother gets into town tonight, and we'll talk, but I doubt that her view will change, if at all (thats life).

Now some happy news. World Domination has advanced to the finals of the Intermural Soccer Cup. Thats right boys and girls, thanks to a glorious strike from the teams master sweeper from past midcort, they advance to play the two time defending champions of the Cup. Tis hoorah, tis hoorah!(thats an aussie chant by the way). The final will be played Thursday night at 11:30 pm at the gym on campus, all those who can make it, please show up, we have flags to wave, and want to make sure we have enough to wave them (fans are great). Afterwards, I was told by the middle McDonald child that if I were 5 years younger, she'd date me....while on the phone with her boyfriend (thats really creepy). I wasn't so much as flattered, as I was terrified. Ah well. Come watch the game. Hopefully we'll win. Life is still good.

Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me. You only think I guessed wrong - that's what's so funny. I switched glasses when your back was turned. Ha-ha, you fool. You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is "Never get involved in a land war in Asia", but only slightly less well known is this: "Never go in against a Sicilian, when death is on the line.". Hahahahahah.

Not Trying to be a Holy Roller

Now, I'm a proponent to reach out and strangle those who use blog space to write all kinds of fluffy information about God, religion, Christianity, or whatever else makes them sound like they are deep and well centered, when they don't quite carry out their lives as they should as loyal children of God. It comes across as what I have been reading in 1 Samuel. Eli has two sons who are working in the temple along with Samuel, and they are skimming off the top of all the offerings, AND sleeping with the door maidens. This brought ruin to Eli's house, and to this day that house will be judged. Although these two men claimed to follow the Lord and acted as if they were carrying out His word, they were infact leading lives that served only them. ( I write this not to belittle or judge those who choose to write such things, but merely state what I feel must be said.) There are those that use this medium to try and sound more Holy than others. I struggle hard to not pass judgement and let God deal with the matter, which He will, but I still struggle.

For this reason, I find it hard to write what it is on my mind. (I have been talking alot to the Lord tonite, and eagerly await his answer.) I have my thoughts, my prayers, and things I have learend through my quiet time studies. As a society we constantly find ourselves (it seems, and might be a gross oversight on my part, but I doubt it) revelling in the fact that God sent his only Son to die for us, to absolve us for all the sins of the world. God had to forsake his Son, the day he died, turned his back upon him, because the weight of those sins were so great He could not lay eyes upon Him. It is a great and wonderous thing that Jesus Christ died for us. Marvelous. Incredible. Awe-inspiering. Nothing any other god can boast. Not budah, not allah, not even bahl (sp?). We have a wonderful and loving God. He hangs on every word from our lips, and sees every beat of our heart. Yet as a people, His children, we take for granted what it is he did for us. We seem to act defiant towards this gift. Sometimes it would be better to treat our day to day lives as it were in the Old Testemant where God poured out his wrath upon his people when they did not show him justice. His children shook in fear of him, and everytime that we turned away, the ground would tremble, and God would wrap us across the forehead to lead us back onto the right path. How great a place it would be if daily we lived in this fear and adoration. As chosen children of God, we need to respect the great gift we have been given. Not abuse it. Life is too short.

Speaking of short, I have a thought upon why we, as people, have a problem killing our flesh daily (this is something Paul was adimant about doing every day so that he could serve the Lord fully with out hinderance). Our flesh cries for control because it lasts on this world only for a whisper among time. It lasts for only a mere flash, and then is gone, yet our soul which, if following what God has commanded, has eternal life. What a call for rebellion. The flesh will don anything to disrupt the path of the soul and heart to gain admittance into the congregation of the Lord. As of tonight, I have prayed to God to give me strength to achieve this goal.

From this day on, every aspect of my life has been handed ove to the control of the Lord. If it means I lead a congregation of thousands upon thousands like Joel Olsteen, share the gospel on the PGA tour like the late Payne Stewart (who I believe has a morning tee time with Jesus every day), or a following of 10 to 15 people, I will do so with no objections. I embrace any decision the Lord has for me, because he knows what is best for me. I want to be a light that is so bright that even in a room that is pitch black, everyone can see. This is a task that will not be easy. It will take alot of work, perseverance, courage, and humbleness for this goal to be realized. I just ask everyone to pray for me, my future ministry (whatever the Lord has for me), and for my close friends who are beacons of light and encouragement for me.

Thank Goodness Thanksgiving is Over

Well, I have returned from my journey into the wilds of East Texas (I make it sound like the area is raw and a very primative place). Spending time with my family for Thanksgiving was great. I was able to eat myself sick two days straight. Not often I can have that honor here. It is quite a feat to stuff yourself til the point you go looking for a trashcan to carry around with you everywhere you go (but thats the fun part of it all). I got to play golf with my father, 3 rounds to be exact. I beat him 2 out of 3 rounds (the old man can still play, but I'm getting better). The car trip was entertaining. Allie and Tommy are always fun, and his two younger brothers were fun as well. Seemed like an eternity heading up to East Texas, but it was a quick jaunt back to the gulf coast. Back to reality. Yeah, reality.

Now the week ahead. My mother (who I just saw, and was tormented by no more than three days ago) will be in Corpus Christi Wednsday thru Saturday to go to some P.E. teachers confrence. Whoopie for me (I get free meals, what a life!). So that means I must clean my room, and the house (already done alot of that) and meet her at the airport by 9pm. Goody. So, that leaves me the days to work on my two projects. One by myself, and the other with a group. That gets real entertaining. Especially when they never want to meet, and we go in front of the class on Thursday. I pray that God takes this over for me, and helps me have the willpower to complete it.

Still no decision on the work front. That is yet another area that has been handed over to God (I hope that he doesn't get tired of all of these tasks I keep handing over to him, of course, I do want him to run my whole life, and it is his to shape and mold). I pray that there is some resolution soon, because its no fun with very little money (helps my mom will be here because I will get a few days of free food!).

Pacha: What happened?
Old Man: Well, I threw off the Emperor's groove.
Pacha: What?
Old Man: His groove! The rhythm in which he lives his life. His pattern of behavior. I threw it off. And the Emperor had me thrown out the window.
Pacha: Oh, really? I'm supposed to see him today.
Old Man: Don't throw off his groove!
Pacha: Oh, okay.
Old Man: Bewaaare, the grooove.
Pacha: Hey, are you gonna be all right?
Old Man: Grooove...

Man, thats a great line there. The grooooooove!

Placing a Personals?

My my my. Thanksgiving is only two days away. I get to ride all the way home to East Texas with Allie and Tommy. I can't wait, I am truley excited. Not only do I get to spend time in a car with two really cool people, I get to go home and have thanksgiving dinner with my family (although I'm sure they'll fuss at me just because its what they do, oh and make fun of me). So, I get that to look foward to.

I really don't like holidays that much because it leads to comments from my family about how they'd like to have 'new blood' introduced into the fold. I don't know about you, but I consider that evil punishment for anyone out there that isn't a part of my family (they are extremely weird, and scare even me). So, I have to rebuff the advances of advice on how to pick up the ladyfolk, and that it sure would be nice to have grandchildren around to spoil, fill full of sweets, and then dump them back upon me as they run around in a sugar high (I want to be able to do that to them...unleash my runts hopped up on caffine and sugar, so grandpa and grandma can scream and have strokes because of the little hopped up hellions. Gee, I sure am cruel).

That brings me to my next point. Probably one of the closest friends I have here in Corpus will be getting married soon. According to published reports, he's 'off the market'. To me that makes him sound like a piece of expired meat that has been taken off display. Well, hmm, that doesn't sound like a very good thing, since he is near the ripe old age of 40 (thats for the hobbit comments, I knew I'd get revenge! HAHAHAHA Captain Charisma strikes again!). So, yeah, more to make me think about how I don't have a family yet. No little runts under tow. Then again, with my limited amount of cash, that isn't a bad thing (This is why you must marry rich!). I kid, I kid. Some day I will be blessed with a wife, and children. Life will be awesome. I will get to play golf all day because she will be rich, and share her multitude of cash with me, so there.

Until then, I must focus on the here and now, neither of which I truely understand anyways. Its even more confusing. What is there for me to do? I have no job, I love to play golf, and work hard. Maybe that should be my personal ad.....(maybe?)

SWM looking for SWF who loves golf, enjoys watching Firefly, but hates Buffy and Angel, has tons of money (thats a +++), must love Will Ferrell movies, be funny, not have intestinal gas problems. Does not have to be musically talented. Requirements are not set in stone, but a must. Must want runts of her own, and have no problems with a wedding on a golf course. Must pass MMPI psychiatric assesment test. Non-drinker and non-smoker. Must be over 5'6", and under 145 pounds (I'm shallow).

Gee, now that is a personal ad. Maybe that will get me a hit here online. Maybe. Then again, I heard the postal service is going to lower rates for shipping here at the start of the new year, so I could offer something that not all foreign men can offer foreign women, US citizenship. Of course, now adays, that isn't as prestegious as it once was, but it should!

I get to play golf, eat lots of food, and spend atleast 7 hours in a car with really cool people (oh yeah, Allie is making me a 'Jayne' hat. Yippe! To all have a great thanksgiving, and I will see ya'll on Sunday for the concert? Hmm, yeah. Concert.

[Kronk's Shoulder Angel and Devil debate saving Kuzco]
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Listen up, big guy. I got three good reasons why you should just walk away. Number one. Look at that guy! He's got that sissy stringy music thing.

Kronk's shoulder Angel: We've been through this. It's a harp, and you know it.

Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Oh, right. That's a harp, and that's a dress.

Kronk's Shoulder Angel: Robe!

Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Reason number two. Look what I can do. Ha-ha, ha!
[does one-armed handstand]

Kronk: But what does that have to do with me?

Kronk's Shoulder Angel: No, no. He's got a point.

Kronk: Listen, you guys. You're sort of confusing me, so, um, begone... or, um, however I get rid of you guys.

Kronk's Sholder Angel: That'll do.
[Angel and devil disappear]

Turkey Day, and without a Job

Wow, its been this long since I've had a post? I've let my public down. All two of you. I have not shared my most deep and intimate thoughts about my inner goings in a while (no, not bowel movements, but they are moving well). Thats life. CAn't always do what you want to do. I'm going home for thanksgiving (thanks Tommy and Allie, means alot you guys). So that means lots of great food, but 56K dialup hell. Maybe not though, the rents talked about upgrading the computer and the internet service (cable maybe?). I'll have to wait and see.

I got laid off my job (extended holiday, according to the owner), and am now looking for something new. Don't quite know what that is, or what God has in store for me, but I'm not complaining. So, keep an eye out on the job market (applied at 'Wiskey River' to be a male dancer, but they weren't hirering, can anyone say 'conspiracy'?).

Anyways, the second thing on my mind is that people are getting close to either being married, or looking for a ring to get married. So, inevitably this makes me think of my status in the world of dating. There is omeone who wants to go out with me, but it will NEVER happen (no comments here Miss Alfeo). No, there is no one who has to wait and age five years before they go out with me, or have to be exorcised. To be in a relationship means having great communication and likes. There is someone I'm already in that kind of relationship, but we still need to work out the kinks before I can find me a Misses. That person is God. We have a good relationship, but it isn't great yet (all on my part of course). When we work these things out, then I can get the new Mrs. Wesson. (unless shipping costs go down)

Dont know if I'll post much this week, but I'll keep you posted. haha, blogger humor!

I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot.

My Political Party

The other night, I sat on the couch talking to a couple of old friends (who are both quite liberal, by the way) and I shared with them that I was no longer a member of the Republican party. They were both astonished. Me? The model GOP? Walk away from a party that I verbally defended at every turn? Yes, I have indeed left them since they act too much like Democrats, and seem to also have liberal tendencies, and their own agenda (Which political party doesn't? Oh yeah, mine!). So I shared to them how I plan to be represented in Congress, and they laughed at me. So to spite them, I called a political consultant, and was given this commerical for my new party, and boy is it a doozie!

Hey boys and girls. Have you heard? There's a new political party out on the scene. Thats right! One that finally voices YOUR opinions. Who needs the Grand Ol' Party, or that other party that is pictorally represented by an ass? Not me, thats for sure. So come join the New Anti-Federalists! We're a peace loving bunch, and we discriminate against no one (Well, against fat cat government, and those evil corporations). We support almost every ideal that was supported by the original anti-federalists back in the late 1700's and early 1800's. We say forget the constitution. That piece of paper that allows "big government" is a gross oversight into what this country really needs.

The Articles of Confederation would work wonders. All they needed was a little revamping. Just allow the federal government to protect us with a large standing army that was funded by a flat tax of 8% on every $100 dollars, and we'd be set. The greatest thing about us is, we put the STATE back into states rights. Thats right kiddies, the states are the top of the food chain, not a bunch of fatcats on Capitol Hill that know nothing about what is going on in your state, but more about taking big fat kickbacks from those large corporations and big oil (we're a friend of big oil when they lower gas to a $1.05, since oil and Texas go hand in hand). No more affirmative action, no more abortion, and no more high medical bills. We will make sure that the most expensive item at the grocery store is not the fresh fruit and vegetables, but those snack foods high in sugar that are killing our kids! We will see to it that a gallon of milk costs less than a gallon of gas. Just think of the endless possibilities! It will be great! So come join the New Anti-Federalists! Hope to see y'all soon!

Ok, I know thats a bit over the top, but I thought it was funny. Some of those views I do hold, and maybe someday I'll be able to bring up this party to fight the one day the republicans and democrats join together to one party.

I might get to go home for Thanksgiving. Wow, wouldn't that be a blast. I haven't gotten to have any of my families great Thanksgiving dinner for two years. Its sad. That is some major withdrawl. I'll keep you updated on that situation. Other news, I was shot down with my association of my devishly handsome good looks and how they strikenly resemble a certain Mohichan portrayed by Daniel Day Lewis. I must say I don't like critics out there. People just laughed at me. Then again, maybe I had something in my nose. It had been running lately. Ah well. Tis another day, and I have tons to say but not enough time, space, or people to read it. So, I shall cut it to this line here.

The details of my life are quite inconsequential...very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds-pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe.

"You too Judas?"

What in the freaky deaky dutch?! When does the term confidentiality mean nothing in this World? How in the something thats not a good word can people just decide not to take things in confidence and not spread what is said? I don't know. It's a problem that I might not be able to answer myself, but I sure as poop can vent about it. But I must issue a disclaimer that what I post on the worldwideweb is between you and I. Us alone. Between the World, and myself (or something like that).


Never, never EEEEEVER talk to Mark in confidence. The kid will sell you out the moment you turn your back. He's a typical Judas ( x <---- insert knife here!). For peets sake. This really hacs me off. I should have learned my lesson before. Its not the first time this sort of thing has happened. But thats why I'm an extremely trusting person. I believe that people can change. Regardless of their spots. Plus I'm one of the easiest people to earn trust with. Doesn't take much for me to earn what it takes for me to talk to you like I've known you all my life. Thats just how I work. As far as I'm concerned, I'm easy to get along with. Besides my atypical tempertantrums that occur bi-annually, I'm a great guy to be around. Of course, those of you who know Mark, most certainly know his desire to go to seminary to carry out his calling. First, there are a few things he must address, such as his monitary motives, a giving heart, etc... but most of all, he needs to come to the realization that things said in confidence, especially when you become a preacher, means it stays between you, the person who told you, and God. Those are the only 3 people that deserve to know what was said. If another party is needed for consult, it too is for guidance only, and that is also (gee, I guess you could say its the word of the day, so spell it with me now) C-O-N-F-I-D-E-N-C-E. I'll get over this stinking drama (I HATE DRAMA!) soon. I needed a place to vent since I can't seem to find anyone who respects confidentiality like you do. Worldwideweb, I sure do wish you were a lady I could buy dinner for. You won't hurt me, you're real nice to me. You bring me my mail, you keep up with all the scores, if I want, I can arrange it that you get me food and clothing, you can work hard at selling things that I don't want any more, and if you wanted, you have the ability to show all kinds of scantily clad girls (which I constantly tell you bad Worldwideweb, bad. I don't need that).


So the lessons of the day seem to be don't go to Mark in confidence, unless you want the rest of the world, and the party you are venting about, knowing what it is you are upset about. The worldwideweb would make one heck of a lady (she loves to keep up on sports, and deliver the mail), and lastly, I'm a real nice guy. Oh yeah, please, no more knifes in the back. The "No Vacancy" for knives sign is blinking. So keep the knives to yourselves. Thank you.

Ok, you in the back....stop laughing. I am a nice guy. What? Say that again. Ok, thats it. I'm going to knock your teeth down the back of your throat, and I will make you say that I'm a real nice guy. Got it? Good.

Tis the Season I Detest

Apparently I need to focus on the colors that I use to post on my blog. I'm looking for the html code to set up a poll to find that new color. So if anyone knows the code, please, let me know ASAP.

Camping, oh the joys of camping. I'm sure that somewhere there are pictures me on peoples myspace accounts. How sad is that? I really hate my picture being taken. People can say that I'm a bad sport, a baby about it, but you know? I really don't care....just like I don't like my picture being taken. Now if its a picture of me in the event of doing something, thats one thing, or even in a group, I'm fine with it, but the random individual picture, I'm not a big fan. Thats just me (that and I believe that cameras eat a piece of your soul with every shutter click). Blanco State Park, yeah, it ain't no Guadalupe State Park and Nicole Wong, but it was nice to get out of town even for a day and a half. Bochi (sp?) ball was fun. Lawn bowling. Now swimming after one in 70 degree water, not that fun. Who knew that camping gave EVERYONE gas? I thought that I had the ability to rip my britches, but I was with atleast 5 other people who had more gas than a Valero refinery. Seriously, there was so much methane released by the campsite, that there is probably a hole in the ozone after the excursion. Seriously.

Well, I'm back in civilization. Nice to be back home. Come back to dealing with Mark, working alot in school and at church. No complaints. I do hate this time of the year though. It makes me miss my family, and our great thanksgiving meals. Plus it reminds me that I am lonely. Would be nice to have a significant other I can coddle and spoil. That would be nice, and at the same time, she could be an uplifting intimately emotional presence in my life (Whoops, hope I don't start sounding like Mr. Belcher. Just stating what I would like to have in my life). I'm sure that the trend will constantly continued that every lady I talk to will say, 'I just wanna be friends'. Crikes, I'm so tired of that stinking line. Next lady that says it is gonna get slugged in the ovary. It sure is hard to find that one that is more precious than rubies. Of course, God has a plan, and when he feels its time for me to meet the one for me, it'll happen. Who ever she is. (maybe she'll change her mind after I punch her in the ovary). All violence aside (I could NEVER bring myself to strike a woman regardless), it would be nice to have someone to spoil. Maybe I should actually look into what the shipping costs really are for foreign brides, since I have yet to connect with a stateside lady. Poor poor pitiful me. Look, I've made myself cry.

Ok, enough sob story. I'm single, I have great friends, so who needs a special lady? ME THATS WHO! I'm kidding. I do have great friends. I don't want to think where I'd be if I didn't have the friends that I have. You guys are gifts from God. No doubt about it. Every week, it seems that yet another strong personality is introduced into my life, and my personality feels even more complete. So three cheers to you guys! 'HIP HIP HOORAY! HIP HIP HOORAY! HIP HIP HOORAY!'. Give yourselves a pat on the back. Job well done. Now hope y'all can forgive me if I forget when your birthdays are.

I haven't a clue what the week holds for me, other than I get to decide on whether I want to be an indian (native american if we have to be politically correct), or a pilgram (a prude member of a bunch of prudish people, that even the British told them to get lost). I don't know, pimp shoes could be cool, but going around and scalping people would also be fun (I have a skinning knife and we all know that I'm a spitting image of Daniel Day Lewis in 'Last of the Mohicans). Tonight, I have soccer, and I have to decide to try and play with my broken leg. We'll see. I am stubborn as history shows (tried to play 2 weeks after a complete separation of my tibia and fibula right above my ankle {high ankle sprain} so thats not a good precursor to what I'll choose to do).

And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire...

Lets Git Bit with Imbred Jed

Oh joy of joys. I go camping today. Camping with a broken leg. Well, its broke, but doesn't really hurt (I just like pointing out the fact that I have a broken leg). I get to spend a few hours in a truck with Mr. Hess. How fun is that? I think I'll blare some music, and that should keep him quiet. Well, if he starts to talk about J.B., I will kick him out and he will be walking. I do NOT want to hear about that mess. No offense. Anyways, camping is fun. Always has been, always will be. The best part of camping is catching all kinds of fun critters. Seeing what we can get our hands on. Maybe we can catch some odd and unusual kinda critter.

Le' thinks that I should have my own tv show, kinda like Steve Irwin, or Jeff Corwin. Wow, wouldn't that be fun? HillbillyVision. I can just see it now (Imagine a imagination thingy like you'd see on 'Saved by the Bell):

"Howdy ladies and gents, and welcome to anutha edition of my show, "Lets git bit", I'm your host, Imbred Jed, and today we're gunna lern how to wrangle dem dam gators. Oooo weee son! We'd be havin some fun tonite. Whatchagota do first is gets yous one of dem really bright spotlights. Then, yous lean over the front of yous flat bottom boat, and shine dat light all over da place til you sees dem gleemin eyes in da water. Theys gonna shine like the glimmer of da porch bug zapper, yet it will have the color of a 1976 Chevy flairside pickup truck. Den, here comes da tricky part...yous creap up real slow like, lean closer to da water, den you wrap your hands round its neck, and wrastle dat darn critter into da boat. Oooo weee son! We done and wrangled ourselves a real doozie of a gator. Check her out! Now watch as I stick my hand in her mouth, she won't even think abou........AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY HAND, DAT DARN GATOR BIT MY HAND OFF! NOT AGAIN! I JUST HAD IT SEWNED BACK ON! DAM YOU DAM GATOR! WELL, THIS HAS BEEN ANOTHER EXCITNG EDITION OF "LETS GIT BIT", AND I'M YOUR HOST, WHO IS BLEEDIN TO DEATH, IMBRED JED..somebody please git me to da doctah. Oooo weee son!"

Yeah, I can just see it now. On second thought, I think I'll try and leave the critters alone. Ofcourse I mean I'll TRY.

So thats whats going on this weekend. Hopefully I don't lose a hand. Already got a broken leg, don't need to lose a hand. Y'all have fun of those of you not going camping. Hope your weekend is well, and you can handle the weekend of not having my posts to read about. I know you'll cope, and the pain will be insufferable, but you'll manage. My personality is addictive.

Are you seeing planes? Is your name Tattoo? Because I swear, you're living on Fantasy Island.

So That's Where the Pain is From

News flash, for those that are out there who care. My leg is actually broken. I have a nice little fracture on the front of my shin, about 6 inches above my ankle. I thought the pain was just a really bad bruise, but after close examination by the therapist on site (and the use of an ultrasound machine and many tears), it was determined that my shin was indeed broken. How sad is that? I have not had a broken bone since I was 7 years of age. Thats been 18 years ago. Let me break down that time span: we've had four presidents since then, cable tv has added 5,000+ channels, MTV used to play music videos, there were 2 NFL teams in LA. Uh, oh yeah, Le' was a freshman in high school. Thats how long it has been since I've broken a bone. I just hope that my osteoperosis doesn't hinder healing.

So you are asking yourself, or wanting to ask me, "Nick, how in the world did you break your leg?" . The answer is simple. Soccer. Man I love that sport. We lost again. We are a lot better than our 1 and 1 record shows (we won our appeal on our first game, they had an illegal player so our loss where I scored 2 goals for the other team is null and void). We mopped the floor with these bozos last night. But I missed a penalty kick in a shoot out that cost us the game. Thats life. I Beckham'd it. Too bad I'm not Frankie Lampard (none of you who don't follow soccer probably won't know him, but google the name anyways). So, thats how my leg got broken. No fun.

Today on campus, I ran into the best waitress (at a resturaunt we can afford). As I was talking to her, and proving that my 'online diary' did have a mention of her, Mr. Cowan III called. That was fun. Handing the phone over to him, with no clue who was on my phone. Hopefully, he didn't think it was my voice. I laughed hard.

Tomorrow, yes, tomorrow, its only a day...uh huh er um, yes tomorrow. Camping. I'm going camping! Not quite Guadalupe State Park, and no Nicole Wong to bubble with excitement to see me (which is sad), but the girls have a cabin. That means lots of armadillos to catch, and let loose, and no raccoons to loot our food. So, that means I might get one last post tomorrow before I leave, then 2 days of silence. I hope that my audience will be able to take the withdrawls of not hearing my jokes. I am a funny man. Ah yes. That is the life. Again, for those of you who missed the opening segment. My leg IS broken.

I suppose you could say that everyone has an El Guapo. For some, shyness may be an El Guapo. For others, lack of education may be an El Guapo. But for us, El Guapo is a large ugly man who wants to kill us!