I really don't like holidays that much because it leads to comments from my family about how they'd like to have 'new blood' introduced into the fold. I don't know about you, but I consider that evil punishment for anyone out there that isn't a part of my family (they are extremely weird, and scare even me). So, I have to rebuff the advances of advice on how to pick up the ladyfolk, and that it sure would be nice to have grandchildren around to spoil, fill full of sweets, and then dump them back upon me as they run around in a sugar high (I want to be able to do that to them...unleash my runts hopped up on caffine and sugar, so grandpa and grandma can scream and have strokes because of the little hopped up hellions. Gee, I sure am cruel).
That brings me to my next point. Probably one of the closest friends I have here in Corpus will be getting married soon. According to published reports, he's 'off the market'. To me that makes him sound like a piece of expired meat that has been taken off display. Well, hmm, that doesn't sound like a very good thing, since he is near the ripe old age of 40 (thats for the hobbit comments, I knew I'd get revenge! HAHAHAHA Captain Charisma strikes again!). So, yeah, more to make me think about how I don't have a family yet. No little runts under tow. Then again, with my limited amount of cash, that isn't a bad thing (This is why you must marry rich!). I kid, I kid. Some day I will be blessed with a wife, and children. Life will be awesome. I will get to play golf all day because she will be rich, and share her multitude of cash with me, so there.
Until then, I must focus on the here and now, neither of which I truely understand anyways. Its even more confusing. What is there for me to do? I have no job, I love to play golf, and work hard. Maybe that should be my personal ad.....(maybe?)
SWM looking for SWF who loves golf, enjoys watching Firefly, but hates Buffy and Angel, has tons of money (thats a +++), must love Will Ferrell movies, be funny, not have intestinal gas problems. Does not have to be musically talented. Requirements are not set in stone, but a must. Must want runts of her own, and have no problems with a wedding on a golf course. Must pass MMPI psychiatric assesment test. Non-drinker and non-smoker. Must be over 5'6", and under 145 pounds (I'm shallow).Gee, now that is a personal ad. Maybe that will get me a hit here online. Maybe. Then again, I heard the postal service is going to lower rates for shipping here at the start of the new year, so I could offer something that not all foreign men can offer foreign women, US citizenship. Of course, now adays, that isn't as prestegious as it once was, but it should!
I get to play golf, eat lots of food, and spend atleast 7 hours in a car with really cool people (oh yeah, Allie is making me a 'Jayne' hat. Yippe! To all have a great thanksgiving, and I will see ya'll on Sunday for the concert? Hmm, yeah. Concert.
[Kronk's Shoulder Angel and Devil debate saving Kuzco]
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Listen up, big guy. I got three good reasons why you should just walk away. Number one. Look at that guy! He's got that sissy stringy music thing.
Kronk's shoulder Angel: We've been through this. It's a harp, and you know it.
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Oh, right. That's a harp, and that's a dress.
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: Robe!
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Reason number two. Look what I can do. Ha-ha, ha!
[does one-armed handstand]
Kronk: But what does that have to do with me?
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: No, no. He's got a point.
Kronk: Listen, you guys. You're sort of confusing me, so, um, begone... or, um, however I get rid of you guys.
Kronk's Sholder Angel: That'll do.
[Angel and devil disappear]
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