Tis Hoorah! Tis Hoorah!

Oh my, oh my, oh my! Haven't I become a popular one!? This is truely amazing! I so enjoy people posting on my blog. Makes me feel like I might be cool (lets not push the envelope here). I've had up to 7 different people post on my blog! Even a friend from back in the ole' viewtown area (not sure how she found thi....oh wait, it was Xanga I'm betting, but it was awesome none the less). Keep those comments comming. I love it! So, Sunday night, I had the fortune to check Miss Christiensen through a mic stand. Broke the thing clean through. I should have played in the NHL, because I can hit like a mack truck (wow, my ego is really getting up there). At least things are slowly getting better.

I'm back at my old job, because business is picking up and they asked me back. Don't know how long that I'll stay though because I am really chapped, and I feel that I'm being called to leave. Yet, I have no job lined up, and I was prepared to take a leap of faith, and know that God will provide, but in the process of informing my parents, they blew a gasket, or atleast a couple of anurysims. Can't have my folks dieing on me, that wouldn't sit well. Sometimes I wish that I had the spiritual support at home that I do here (I feel like I let my family down because of how I hold true to my walk, and they've wandered off {not looking for sympathy, just stating a fact}). My mother went as far to say that she thinks its the church's fault that I've changed my ways (no sexual immorality, alcohol, or anything else that is displeasing to God). No one in my family likes it how I came to Corpus, hellbent on becoming an Occupational Therapist, and now, I really haven't a clue what I'm going to do after I graduate in the spring (come on! I'm finally graduating! Be happy for me!). It just burns. So back to me going to work, I had planned on turning in my 2 weeks notice today, but since I got such major resistance from my family, and since they do float me a couple hundred each month, pay for insurance, and my phone bill, that silly commandment God decreed about honoring your mother and your father, made me choose to not resign (atleast til I have a job lined up). This is a cut that really hurts. My mother gets into town tonight, and we'll talk, but I doubt that her view will change, if at all (thats life).

Now some happy news. World Domination has advanced to the finals of the Intermural Soccer Cup. Thats right boys and girls, thanks to a glorious strike from the teams master sweeper from past midcort, they advance to play the two time defending champions of the Cup. Tis hoorah, tis hoorah!(thats an aussie chant by the way). The final will be played Thursday night at 11:30 pm at the gym on campus, all those who can make it, please show up, we have flags to wave, and want to make sure we have enough to wave them (fans are great). Afterwards, I was told by the middle McDonald child that if I were 5 years younger, she'd date me....while on the phone with her boyfriend (thats really creepy). I wasn't so much as flattered, as I was terrified. Ah well. Come watch the game. Hopefully we'll win. Life is still good.

Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me. You only think I guessed wrong - that's what's so funny. I switched glasses when your back was turned. Ha-ha, you fool. You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is "Never get involved in a land war in Asia", but only slightly less well known is this: "Never go in against a Sicilian, when death is on the line.". Hahahahahah.

Not Trying to be a Holy Roller

Now, I'm a proponent to reach out and strangle those who use blog space to write all kinds of fluffy information about God, religion, Christianity, or whatever else makes them sound like they are deep and well centered, when they don't quite carry out their lives as they should as loyal children of God. It comes across as what I have been reading in 1 Samuel. Eli has two sons who are working in the temple along with Samuel, and they are skimming off the top of all the offerings, AND sleeping with the door maidens. This brought ruin to Eli's house, and to this day that house will be judged. Although these two men claimed to follow the Lord and acted as if they were carrying out His word, they were infact leading lives that served only them. ( I write this not to belittle or judge those who choose to write such things, but merely state what I feel must be said.) There are those that use this medium to try and sound more Holy than others. I struggle hard to not pass judgement and let God deal with the matter, which He will, but I still struggle.

For this reason, I find it hard to write what it is on my mind. (I have been talking alot to the Lord tonite, and eagerly await his answer.) I have my thoughts, my prayers, and things I have learend through my quiet time studies. As a society we constantly find ourselves (it seems, and might be a gross oversight on my part, but I doubt it) revelling in the fact that God sent his only Son to die for us, to absolve us for all the sins of the world. God had to forsake his Son, the day he died, turned his back upon him, because the weight of those sins were so great He could not lay eyes upon Him. It is a great and wonderous thing that Jesus Christ died for us. Marvelous. Incredible. Awe-inspiering. Nothing any other god can boast. Not budah, not allah, not even bahl (sp?). We have a wonderful and loving God. He hangs on every word from our lips, and sees every beat of our heart. Yet as a people, His children, we take for granted what it is he did for us. We seem to act defiant towards this gift. Sometimes it would be better to treat our day to day lives as it were in the Old Testemant where God poured out his wrath upon his people when they did not show him justice. His children shook in fear of him, and everytime that we turned away, the ground would tremble, and God would wrap us across the forehead to lead us back onto the right path. How great a place it would be if daily we lived in this fear and adoration. As chosen children of God, we need to respect the great gift we have been given. Not abuse it. Life is too short.

Speaking of short, I have a thought upon why we, as people, have a problem killing our flesh daily (this is something Paul was adimant about doing every day so that he could serve the Lord fully with out hinderance). Our flesh cries for control because it lasts on this world only for a whisper among time. It lasts for only a mere flash, and then is gone, yet our soul which, if following what God has commanded, has eternal life. What a call for rebellion. The flesh will don anything to disrupt the path of the soul and heart to gain admittance into the congregation of the Lord. As of tonight, I have prayed to God to give me strength to achieve this goal.

From this day on, every aspect of my life has been handed ove to the control of the Lord. If it means I lead a congregation of thousands upon thousands like Joel Olsteen, share the gospel on the PGA tour like the late Payne Stewart (who I believe has a morning tee time with Jesus every day), or a following of 10 to 15 people, I will do so with no objections. I embrace any decision the Lord has for me, because he knows what is best for me. I want to be a light that is so bright that even in a room that is pitch black, everyone can see. This is a task that will not be easy. It will take alot of work, perseverance, courage, and humbleness for this goal to be realized. I just ask everyone to pray for me, my future ministry (whatever the Lord has for me), and for my close friends who are beacons of light and encouragement for me.

Thank Goodness Thanksgiving is Over

Well, I have returned from my journey into the wilds of East Texas (I make it sound like the area is raw and a very primative place). Spending time with my family for Thanksgiving was great. I was able to eat myself sick two days straight. Not often I can have that honor here. It is quite a feat to stuff yourself til the point you go looking for a trashcan to carry around with you everywhere you go (but thats the fun part of it all). I got to play golf with my father, 3 rounds to be exact. I beat him 2 out of 3 rounds (the old man can still play, but I'm getting better). The car trip was entertaining. Allie and Tommy are always fun, and his two younger brothers were fun as well. Seemed like an eternity heading up to East Texas, but it was a quick jaunt back to the gulf coast. Back to reality. Yeah, reality.

Now the week ahead. My mother (who I just saw, and was tormented by no more than three days ago) will be in Corpus Christi Wednsday thru Saturday to go to some P.E. teachers confrence. Whoopie for me (I get free meals, what a life!). So that means I must clean my room, and the house (already done alot of that) and meet her at the airport by 9pm. Goody. So, that leaves me the days to work on my two projects. One by myself, and the other with a group. That gets real entertaining. Especially when they never want to meet, and we go in front of the class on Thursday. I pray that God takes this over for me, and helps me have the willpower to complete it.

Still no decision on the work front. That is yet another area that has been handed over to God (I hope that he doesn't get tired of all of these tasks I keep handing over to him, of course, I do want him to run my whole life, and it is his to shape and mold). I pray that there is some resolution soon, because its no fun with very little money (helps my mom will be here because I will get a few days of free food!).

Pacha: What happened?
Old Man: Well, I threw off the Emperor's groove.
Pacha: What?
Old Man: His groove! The rhythm in which he lives his life. His pattern of behavior. I threw it off. And the Emperor had me thrown out the window.
Pacha: Oh, really? I'm supposed to see him today.
Old Man: Don't throw off his groove!
Pacha: Oh, okay.
Old Man: Bewaaare, the grooove.
Pacha: Hey, are you gonna be all right?
Old Man: Grooove...

Man, thats a great line there. The grooooooove!

Placing a Personals?

My my my. Thanksgiving is only two days away. I get to ride all the way home to East Texas with Allie and Tommy. I can't wait, I am truley excited. Not only do I get to spend time in a car with two really cool people, I get to go home and have thanksgiving dinner with my family (although I'm sure they'll fuss at me just because its what they do, oh and make fun of me). So, I get that to look foward to.

I really don't like holidays that much because it leads to comments from my family about how they'd like to have 'new blood' introduced into the fold. I don't know about you, but I consider that evil punishment for anyone out there that isn't a part of my family (they are extremely weird, and scare even me). So, I have to rebuff the advances of advice on how to pick up the ladyfolk, and that it sure would be nice to have grandchildren around to spoil, fill full of sweets, and then dump them back upon me as they run around in a sugar high (I want to be able to do that to them...unleash my runts hopped up on caffine and sugar, so grandpa and grandma can scream and have strokes because of the little hopped up hellions. Gee, I sure am cruel).

That brings me to my next point. Probably one of the closest friends I have here in Corpus will be getting married soon. According to published reports, he's 'off the market'. To me that makes him sound like a piece of expired meat that has been taken off display. Well, hmm, that doesn't sound like a very good thing, since he is near the ripe old age of 40 (thats for the hobbit comments, I knew I'd get revenge! HAHAHAHA Captain Charisma strikes again!). So, yeah, more to make me think about how I don't have a family yet. No little runts under tow. Then again, with my limited amount of cash, that isn't a bad thing (This is why you must marry rich!). I kid, I kid. Some day I will be blessed with a wife, and children. Life will be awesome. I will get to play golf all day because she will be rich, and share her multitude of cash with me, so there.

Until then, I must focus on the here and now, neither of which I truely understand anyways. Its even more confusing. What is there for me to do? I have no job, I love to play golf, and work hard. Maybe that should be my personal ad.....(maybe?)

SWM looking for SWF who loves golf, enjoys watching Firefly, but hates Buffy and Angel, has tons of money (thats a +++), must love Will Ferrell movies, be funny, not have intestinal gas problems. Does not have to be musically talented. Requirements are not set in stone, but a must. Must want runts of her own, and have no problems with a wedding on a golf course. Must pass MMPI psychiatric assesment test. Non-drinker and non-smoker. Must be over 5'6", and under 145 pounds (I'm shallow).

Gee, now that is a personal ad. Maybe that will get me a hit here online. Maybe. Then again, I heard the postal service is going to lower rates for shipping here at the start of the new year, so I could offer something that not all foreign men can offer foreign women, US citizenship. Of course, now adays, that isn't as prestegious as it once was, but it should!

I get to play golf, eat lots of food, and spend atleast 7 hours in a car with really cool people (oh yeah, Allie is making me a 'Jayne' hat. Yippe! To all have a great thanksgiving, and I will see ya'll on Sunday for the concert? Hmm, yeah. Concert.

[Kronk's Shoulder Angel and Devil debate saving Kuzco]
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Listen up, big guy. I got three good reasons why you should just walk away. Number one. Look at that guy! He's got that sissy stringy music thing.

Kronk's shoulder Angel: We've been through this. It's a harp, and you know it.

Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Oh, right. That's a harp, and that's a dress.

Kronk's Shoulder Angel: Robe!

Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Reason number two. Look what I can do. Ha-ha, ha!
[does one-armed handstand]

Kronk: But what does that have to do with me?

Kronk's Shoulder Angel: No, no. He's got a point.

Kronk: Listen, you guys. You're sort of confusing me, so, um, begone... or, um, however I get rid of you guys.

Kronk's Sholder Angel: That'll do.
[Angel and devil disappear]

Turkey Day, and without a Job

Wow, its been this long since I've had a post? I've let my public down. All two of you. I have not shared my most deep and intimate thoughts about my inner goings in a while (no, not bowel movements, but they are moving well). Thats life. CAn't always do what you want to do. I'm going home for thanksgiving (thanks Tommy and Allie, means alot you guys). So that means lots of great food, but 56K dialup hell. Maybe not though, the rents talked about upgrading the computer and the internet service (cable maybe?). I'll have to wait and see.

I got laid off my job (extended holiday, according to the owner), and am now looking for something new. Don't quite know what that is, or what God has in store for me, but I'm not complaining. So, keep an eye out on the job market (applied at 'Wiskey River' to be a male dancer, but they weren't hirering, can anyone say 'conspiracy'?).

Anyways, the second thing on my mind is that people are getting close to either being married, or looking for a ring to get married. So, inevitably this makes me think of my status in the world of dating. There is omeone who wants to go out with me, but it will NEVER happen (no comments here Miss Alfeo). No, there is no one who has to wait and age five years before they go out with me, or have to be exorcised. To be in a relationship means having great communication and likes. There is someone I'm already in that kind of relationship, but we still need to work out the kinks before I can find me a Misses. That person is God. We have a good relationship, but it isn't great yet (all on my part of course). When we work these things out, then I can get the new Mrs. Wesson. (unless shipping costs go down)

Dont know if I'll post much this week, but I'll keep you posted. haha, blogger humor!

I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot.

My Political Party

The other night, I sat on the couch talking to a couple of old friends (who are both quite liberal, by the way) and I shared with them that I was no longer a member of the Republican party. They were both astonished. Me? The model GOP? Walk away from a party that I verbally defended at every turn? Yes, I have indeed left them since they act too much like Democrats, and seem to also have liberal tendencies, and their own agenda (Which political party doesn't? Oh yeah, mine!). So I shared to them how I plan to be represented in Congress, and they laughed at me. So to spite them, I called a political consultant, and was given this commerical for my new party, and boy is it a doozie!

Hey boys and girls. Have you heard? There's a new political party out on the scene. Thats right! One that finally voices YOUR opinions. Who needs the Grand Ol' Party, or that other party that is pictorally represented by an ass? Not me, thats for sure. So come join the New Anti-Federalists! We're a peace loving bunch, and we discriminate against no one (Well, against fat cat government, and those evil corporations). We support almost every ideal that was supported by the original anti-federalists back in the late 1700's and early 1800's. We say forget the constitution. That piece of paper that allows "big government" is a gross oversight into what this country really needs.

The Articles of Confederation would work wonders. All they needed was a little revamping. Just allow the federal government to protect us with a large standing army that was funded by a flat tax of 8% on every $100 dollars, and we'd be set. The greatest thing about us is, we put the STATE back into states rights. Thats right kiddies, the states are the top of the food chain, not a bunch of fatcats on Capitol Hill that know nothing about what is going on in your state, but more about taking big fat kickbacks from those large corporations and big oil (we're a friend of big oil when they lower gas to a $1.05, since oil and Texas go hand in hand). No more affirmative action, no more abortion, and no more high medical bills. We will make sure that the most expensive item at the grocery store is not the fresh fruit and vegetables, but those snack foods high in sugar that are killing our kids! We will see to it that a gallon of milk costs less than a gallon of gas. Just think of the endless possibilities! It will be great! So come join the New Anti-Federalists! Hope to see y'all soon!

Ok, I know thats a bit over the top, but I thought it was funny. Some of those views I do hold, and maybe someday I'll be able to bring up this party to fight the one day the republicans and democrats join together to one party.

I might get to go home for Thanksgiving. Wow, wouldn't that be a blast. I haven't gotten to have any of my families great Thanksgiving dinner for two years. Its sad. That is some major withdrawl. I'll keep you updated on that situation. Other news, I was shot down with my association of my devishly handsome good looks and how they strikenly resemble a certain Mohichan portrayed by Daniel Day Lewis. I must say I don't like critics out there. People just laughed at me. Then again, maybe I had something in my nose. It had been running lately. Ah well. Tis another day, and I have tons to say but not enough time, space, or people to read it. So, I shall cut it to this line here.

The details of my life are quite inconsequential...very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds-pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe.

"You too Judas?"

What in the freaky deaky dutch?! When does the term confidentiality mean nothing in this World? How in the something thats not a good word can people just decide not to take things in confidence and not spread what is said? I don't know. It's a problem that I might not be able to answer myself, but I sure as poop can vent about it. But I must issue a disclaimer that what I post on the worldwideweb is between you and I. Us alone. Between the World, and myself (or something like that).


Never, never EEEEEVER talk to Mark in confidence. The kid will sell you out the moment you turn your back. He's a typical Judas ( x <---- insert knife here!). For peets sake. This really hacs me off. I should have learned my lesson before. Its not the first time this sort of thing has happened. But thats why I'm an extremely trusting person. I believe that people can change. Regardless of their spots. Plus I'm one of the easiest people to earn trust with. Doesn't take much for me to earn what it takes for me to talk to you like I've known you all my life. Thats just how I work. As far as I'm concerned, I'm easy to get along with. Besides my atypical tempertantrums that occur bi-annually, I'm a great guy to be around. Of course, those of you who know Mark, most certainly know his desire to go to seminary to carry out his calling. First, there are a few things he must address, such as his monitary motives, a giving heart, etc... but most of all, he needs to come to the realization that things said in confidence, especially when you become a preacher, means it stays between you, the person who told you, and God. Those are the only 3 people that deserve to know what was said. If another party is needed for consult, it too is for guidance only, and that is also (gee, I guess you could say its the word of the day, so spell it with me now) C-O-N-F-I-D-E-N-C-E. I'll get over this stinking drama (I HATE DRAMA!) soon. I needed a place to vent since I can't seem to find anyone who respects confidentiality like you do. Worldwideweb, I sure do wish you were a lady I could buy dinner for. You won't hurt me, you're real nice to me. You bring me my mail, you keep up with all the scores, if I want, I can arrange it that you get me food and clothing, you can work hard at selling things that I don't want any more, and if you wanted, you have the ability to show all kinds of scantily clad girls (which I constantly tell you bad Worldwideweb, bad. I don't need that).


So the lessons of the day seem to be don't go to Mark in confidence, unless you want the rest of the world, and the party you are venting about, knowing what it is you are upset about. The worldwideweb would make one heck of a lady (she loves to keep up on sports, and deliver the mail), and lastly, I'm a real nice guy. Oh yeah, please, no more knifes in the back. The "No Vacancy" for knives sign is blinking. So keep the knives to yourselves. Thank you.

Ok, you in the back....stop laughing. I am a nice guy. What? Say that again. Ok, thats it. I'm going to knock your teeth down the back of your throat, and I will make you say that I'm a real nice guy. Got it? Good.

Tis the Season I Detest

Apparently I need to focus on the colors that I use to post on my blog. I'm looking for the html code to set up a poll to find that new color. So if anyone knows the code, please, let me know ASAP.

Camping, oh the joys of camping. I'm sure that somewhere there are pictures me on peoples myspace accounts. How sad is that? I really hate my picture being taken. People can say that I'm a bad sport, a baby about it, but you know? I really don't care....just like I don't like my picture being taken. Now if its a picture of me in the event of doing something, thats one thing, or even in a group, I'm fine with it, but the random individual picture, I'm not a big fan. Thats just me (that and I believe that cameras eat a piece of your soul with every shutter click). Blanco State Park, yeah, it ain't no Guadalupe State Park and Nicole Wong, but it was nice to get out of town even for a day and a half. Bochi (sp?) ball was fun. Lawn bowling. Now swimming after one in 70 degree water, not that fun. Who knew that camping gave EVERYONE gas? I thought that I had the ability to rip my britches, but I was with atleast 5 other people who had more gas than a Valero refinery. Seriously, there was so much methane released by the campsite, that there is probably a hole in the ozone after the excursion. Seriously.

Well, I'm back in civilization. Nice to be back home. Come back to dealing with Mark, working alot in school and at church. No complaints. I do hate this time of the year though. It makes me miss my family, and our great thanksgiving meals. Plus it reminds me that I am lonely. Would be nice to have a significant other I can coddle and spoil. That would be nice, and at the same time, she could be an uplifting intimately emotional presence in my life (Whoops, hope I don't start sounding like Mr. Belcher. Just stating what I would like to have in my life). I'm sure that the trend will constantly continued that every lady I talk to will say, 'I just wanna be friends'. Crikes, I'm so tired of that stinking line. Next lady that says it is gonna get slugged in the ovary. It sure is hard to find that one that is more precious than rubies. Of course, God has a plan, and when he feels its time for me to meet the one for me, it'll happen. Who ever she is. (maybe she'll change her mind after I punch her in the ovary). All violence aside (I could NEVER bring myself to strike a woman regardless), it would be nice to have someone to spoil. Maybe I should actually look into what the shipping costs really are for foreign brides, since I have yet to connect with a stateside lady. Poor poor pitiful me. Look, I've made myself cry.

Ok, enough sob story. I'm single, I have great friends, so who needs a special lady? ME THATS WHO! I'm kidding. I do have great friends. I don't want to think where I'd be if I didn't have the friends that I have. You guys are gifts from God. No doubt about it. Every week, it seems that yet another strong personality is introduced into my life, and my personality feels even more complete. So three cheers to you guys! 'HIP HIP HOORAY! HIP HIP HOORAY! HIP HIP HOORAY!'. Give yourselves a pat on the back. Job well done. Now hope y'all can forgive me if I forget when your birthdays are.

I haven't a clue what the week holds for me, other than I get to decide on whether I want to be an indian (native american if we have to be politically correct), or a pilgram (a prude member of a bunch of prudish people, that even the British told them to get lost). I don't know, pimp shoes could be cool, but going around and scalping people would also be fun (I have a skinning knife and we all know that I'm a spitting image of Daniel Day Lewis in 'Last of the Mohicans). Tonight, I have soccer, and I have to decide to try and play with my broken leg. We'll see. I am stubborn as history shows (tried to play 2 weeks after a complete separation of my tibia and fibula right above my ankle {high ankle sprain} so thats not a good precursor to what I'll choose to do).

And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire...

Lets Git Bit with Imbred Jed

Oh joy of joys. I go camping today. Camping with a broken leg. Well, its broke, but doesn't really hurt (I just like pointing out the fact that I have a broken leg). I get to spend a few hours in a truck with Mr. Hess. How fun is that? I think I'll blare some music, and that should keep him quiet. Well, if he starts to talk about J.B., I will kick him out and he will be walking. I do NOT want to hear about that mess. No offense. Anyways, camping is fun. Always has been, always will be. The best part of camping is catching all kinds of fun critters. Seeing what we can get our hands on. Maybe we can catch some odd and unusual kinda critter.

Le' thinks that I should have my own tv show, kinda like Steve Irwin, or Jeff Corwin. Wow, wouldn't that be fun? HillbillyVision. I can just see it now (Imagine a imagination thingy like you'd see on 'Saved by the Bell):

"Howdy ladies and gents, and welcome to anutha edition of my show, "Lets git bit", I'm your host, Imbred Jed, and today we're gunna lern how to wrangle dem dam gators. Oooo weee son! We'd be havin some fun tonite. Whatchagota do first is gets yous one of dem really bright spotlights. Then, yous lean over the front of yous flat bottom boat, and shine dat light all over da place til you sees dem gleemin eyes in da water. Theys gonna shine like the glimmer of da porch bug zapper, yet it will have the color of a 1976 Chevy flairside pickup truck. Den, here comes da tricky part...yous creap up real slow like, lean closer to da water, den you wrap your hands round its neck, and wrastle dat darn critter into da boat. Oooo weee son! We done and wrangled ourselves a real doozie of a gator. Check her out! Now watch as I stick my hand in her mouth, she won't even think abou........AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY HAND, DAT DARN GATOR BIT MY HAND OFF! NOT AGAIN! I JUST HAD IT SEWNED BACK ON! DAM YOU DAM GATOR! WELL, THIS HAS BEEN ANOTHER EXCITNG EDITION OF "LETS GIT BIT", AND I'M YOUR HOST, WHO IS BLEEDIN TO DEATH, IMBRED JED..somebody please git me to da doctah. Oooo weee son!"

Yeah, I can just see it now. On second thought, I think I'll try and leave the critters alone. Ofcourse I mean I'll TRY.

So thats whats going on this weekend. Hopefully I don't lose a hand. Already got a broken leg, don't need to lose a hand. Y'all have fun of those of you not going camping. Hope your weekend is well, and you can handle the weekend of not having my posts to read about. I know you'll cope, and the pain will be insufferable, but you'll manage. My personality is addictive.

Are you seeing planes? Is your name Tattoo? Because I swear, you're living on Fantasy Island.

So That's Where the Pain is From

News flash, for those that are out there who care. My leg is actually broken. I have a nice little fracture on the front of my shin, about 6 inches above my ankle. I thought the pain was just a really bad bruise, but after close examination by the therapist on site (and the use of an ultrasound machine and many tears), it was determined that my shin was indeed broken. How sad is that? I have not had a broken bone since I was 7 years of age. Thats been 18 years ago. Let me break down that time span: we've had four presidents since then, cable tv has added 5,000+ channels, MTV used to play music videos, there were 2 NFL teams in LA. Uh, oh yeah, Le' was a freshman in high school. Thats how long it has been since I've broken a bone. I just hope that my osteoperosis doesn't hinder healing.

So you are asking yourself, or wanting to ask me, "Nick, how in the world did you break your leg?" . The answer is simple. Soccer. Man I love that sport. We lost again. We are a lot better than our 1 and 1 record shows (we won our appeal on our first game, they had an illegal player so our loss where I scored 2 goals for the other team is null and void). We mopped the floor with these bozos last night. But I missed a penalty kick in a shoot out that cost us the game. Thats life. I Beckham'd it. Too bad I'm not Frankie Lampard (none of you who don't follow soccer probably won't know him, but google the name anyways). So, thats how my leg got broken. No fun.

Today on campus, I ran into the best waitress (at a resturaunt we can afford). As I was talking to her, and proving that my 'online diary' did have a mention of her, Mr. Cowan III called. That was fun. Handing the phone over to him, with no clue who was on my phone. Hopefully, he didn't think it was my voice. I laughed hard.

Tomorrow, yes, tomorrow, its only a day...uh huh er um, yes tomorrow. Camping. I'm going camping! Not quite Guadalupe State Park, and no Nicole Wong to bubble with excitement to see me (which is sad), but the girls have a cabin. That means lots of armadillos to catch, and let loose, and no raccoons to loot our food. So, that means I might get one last post tomorrow before I leave, then 2 days of silence. I hope that my audience will be able to take the withdrawls of not hearing my jokes. I am a funny man. Ah yes. That is the life. Again, for those of you who missed the opening segment. My leg IS broken.

I suppose you could say that everyone has an El Guapo. For some, shyness may be an El Guapo. For others, lack of education may be an El Guapo. But for us, El Guapo is a large ugly man who wants to kill us!

I'm Not That Funny Today (1/2 Revised and 500% more Humbled)

So, today is a better day! My neck hurts a little still, but thats ok (I am the personal lackey to Mr. Cowan III, thats a pain in the neck enough). My knee isn't as swollen, but still aches when I kneel on it. Nothing too funny has happened today, but late last night sure was a blast! Made the rest of the day null and void. Got to hang out with a few people I like.

Chili's where only one person knows your name. The group and myself went to eat at Chili's where the best waitress (at a restaurant we can afford to eat at) works. Ana, she is by far one of the best waitresses on the market. Witty, sarcastic, and downright funny (she constantly puts Le in his place). Its nice to go somewhere that a waitress expresses joy in the fact that I am sitting in her section. I don't get that much, but I imagine the reaction is kept a little more secret the other places I go. Apparently, Harley thinks of tall blonde waitresses everywhere he goes. Then the awkwardness begins. You just had to be there. At the next table, you can hear Mr. Belcher talking about killing type 1,2, and 3 robots (by the way, I kill robots with my mind), and later black holes on Earth (thats me at an all you can eat icecream parlor). But thats beside the point.

Tonight, 'World Domination' takes another shot at getting to a winning record, although I'm not holding my breathe, but I am the leading scorer on the team (dodges bullets whizzing by). We'll see. We play those darned baptists. Dirty bunch of players. I'll have to step it up a knotch. Be a hockey enforcer. Take a penalty or two to inspire the guys. (That or find a corner and ball up and cry.)

Ok, two notes to Le', and one to Adde. First Adde, I feel you do read quite a bit. You read a lot of this drabble that I post every day. Besides blogging is fun. Oh, Batman IS Mr. Cowan II. I mocked the father of Le'. Some lackey I am. Ok, Le' I will whip that A&M bunch into shape. I'm going to have them run 10 miles a day. Two, dollar store cookies, YUM INDEED! Now, I'll just have to unleash Krag Maga on those raccoons. (Still going to get you a coon skin hat.) Man, my rants have no cohesion today. Just constant racket. But my spelling is near perfect! HAHA!

Oh, my God. What can it be? We're all doomed! Who's flying this thing? Oh, right, that would be me. Back to work.

I'm Not That Funny Today

So blah. I broke my funny bone. My head hurts, and its a lousy day. I think I'll go play in traffic. You might be wondering why. Let me tell you why. Well first, World Domination was, well, dominated. Indoor was aweful. I have a busted up knee that is swollen like a grapefruit, a migrane headache that makes me wanna just bash my head into a wall, thinking it will hurt less than if I were to just sit here with a throbbing head (I know if I took some form of painkiller, I'd probably be ok, but thats not the point). I feel bad for Miss Alfeo, because I talked her into comming to the game, and it didn't turn into an entertaing game (I scored 2 goals against my own team, and if I lived in a foriegn country, I'd already be dead). Plus, the poor thing had to stand next to Mark, and a beavy of screaming freshmen girls. I'd have shot myself in that situation, but I am sure since most of my team is foreign, someone is already carrying a bullet for me. I really stink at soccer (and in general, guess I need to learn what soap is). So on to today.

I've gone to class, done my thing. Heard the professors teach, and complain about us students who don't care about the material. But then again, thats common practice for these profs. Funny thing happened to me on the way to school today. Saw a Dakota with 2 flats on the side of the road, went to offer help, and was looked at like I was the second comming of Freddy Crueger (maybe its the facial hair, I wore my bunny shirt today as well). Why do people not trust each other now adays? Has this whole world gone to the pissbucket? Its so frustrating. When I moved down here to Corpus, I had 2 tires go out on my truck (gone flat). Someone came up and offered me help. At first, my father said we could fix the problem, but in the end, we accepted the help. Turned out the guy who was helping owned a tire store. It was after hours, and he went and opened up his shop to set me up with 2 new tires. 2! This was a true blessing to show that my initial calling for my life brought me down here to Corpus, and that the enemy, who had quite a grip on me, didn't want to let go. HOORAAH! for the man upstairs. I'm so thankful for his wanting to place me on the right track. I just wanted to return the favor. (I will not be discouraged).

Camping is comming up. I'm excited. I hope my knee stops hurting so I can really enjoy the trip. Placing armadillos in tents, shenanigans galore, and as Allie put it, "Dollar store cookies, cheap, and good enough for college students to eat". Yum.

I'm sorry that this post doesn't have any funny diolauge. I feel like I've let my public down. I'm a failure as a blogger. I didn't even have any dirt to post about politicians either. What will I do? Oh, I know, go make some potato soup. Yum, again.

We're not gonna die. We can't die, Bendis. You know why? Because we are so... very... pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die.

The Perils of Smuggling

So I consider this post to be my first post of the day since the last one was technically posted last nite (well while I was still awake for yesterday). Tonight is my rec league indoor soccer game, at 1230pm.....geeze thats late at night (we better win). Went to my spanish class, only to find out the class was canceled. I hate it when that happens. I pay for class, so there should be class. Unless I have something more fun to do. Anyways, I got to talk to some people from class. Catch up on current events, like the lives of famous people ( I just made fun of them....honest!). Ran into probably one of the best waitresses in town, talked to her. Had a few laughs, was turned down yet again trying to acquire her number (I'll NEVER give up!). Fun day. I'll spend time in the library tonight, which will probably lead to another post, but hey, who goes to the library to learn?

So yeah, I've entered the dirty underworld of smuggling to try and make a little extra cash to spend. I heard that smuggling illegal immigrants was lucrative and a nice way to meet new people, and let them experience the American dream, (Pay lots of money for something and then getting shafted, corporate style). I mustn't be doin the job right. How do those neanderthal crime thugs do it? Because I've yet to turn a profit, and worse yet, all of those cavity searches are killing me. I've been walking funny ever sine. {just to clarify, for those wondering, I am adimatly against........cavity searches.} Yet, I think everyone in this world deserves to experience the American dream and way of life.

My grandmother gave me her special potato(e?) soup recipe and then had my life threatened when I offered to improve on the deal. Bad idea. I was told I'd be killed, and that they'd never find my body. EVER. Got to love my family. Loving people really. I might have turned out just as well if I were to have been raised by beavers.

I've been in a firefight. Well, I was in a
fire. Actually, I was fired from a fry-cook opportunity.

Addicted to This Mess

OH MY GOODNESS!!! I didn't post yesterday! What have I done? I have really dropped the ball. I have failed as a blogger. Oh wait, its only after midnight. Theoretically, its still today. Whew, I dodged a bullet......fuh-crying out loud! (I had that line stold from a movie.) I'm addicted to blogging. I've posted twice in one day! I might as well just start spreading beltway gossip about which Senator is sleeping with his (or her, gotta be politically correct) press secretary. Then again, I was swayed by Le', and petition that the articles of confederation be re-enstated. Actually, we can talk about how Texas was not formally enlisted into the Union, and that we are technically still our own Republic. And people want to know why we are so proud.

My back hurts. Its been hurting. Hopefully it will stop hurting. But, I'm not whining, just stating a fact. Using this blog as a space to inform people how I am feeling. I missed the morning church service, and I feel bad about that, but I did get up to church in time to start setting up for the night service. While setting up, I got to play Mr. Diaz, and Le' both two games of ping pong. I went 4 and 0 against them combined. Le' thinks its due to my hurt back and I can't take such an agressive cut at the ball, thus less spin, and the ball stayed on the table...but I'm willing to wager that it was his dollar paddle that seemed to have a hole in it every time he took a swing at the ball (swing batter batter, whiff!). Church went great, minus our presentaiton program on the computer, that program is aweful (Irene if you are reading this, I guess we better go with Easy Worship, since it follows its name moniker). You have to click too many buttons to go from slide to slide. Its like powerpoint from hell. Ah well. Beamers was great, learned a new card trick and got to impress people. Saw a movie, then taught magic tricks to my room mates. Thats what I call a semi-productive day.

Agenda for the week ahead:

1. Group project for "Experimental Psychology"
2. Group project for "Drug Use and Abuse"
3. Prepare for the camping trip
4. Buy weapons on the black market
5. Work up plans to conquer the World
6. Cook potato soup since I have little money (poor mans meal, plus its very tasty!)
7. Strike 4 and 5 because the Government probably reads my blog. (Way to go Big Brother, I am a Republican you know, and you let Carl Rove go, why won't you leave me alone?!)
8. Find good lawyer, now that the Government will be indicting me
9. Wake up from my manic state
10. Indoor Soccer on Monday night @ 12:30PM (If anyone is interested in attending, we'll be in the gym on campus! Come cheer on "World Domination"!)

Thats a great schedule I've got for myself. Busy, busy, busy. I'm just one busy beaver. Wow, now that is what I call corney.

"Dear diary: Today I was pompous and my sister was crazy. Today we were kidnapped by hill folk, never to be seen again. It was the best day ever."

Foot in My Mouth...............Again

Wow, can I really ruin an evening? Well the first part of one actually. Crummy moods really bite, especially have to deal with people you really don't want to deal with (a very small minority of the group) and then you just seem to bring everyone else down. Most people can get away with it, but not me. When I'm quiet, regardless of whats going on, (hadn't eaten all day, headache killing me, regardless...) I'm seen as having a problem. Dealing with issues, or just being a pissy pants. Why can't I allowed to be quiet and reserved? Is it not a right to be allowed that moment of silence, and not looked down upon when I take those few moments. I'd rather take time, be quiet, think of what could (or not) be said, instead of just shooting off the cuff. Then again, thats life. Deal with the ups and downs. That and I could never make it as a famous person, I'd kill the members of the paparazzi. Camera flashes make me uneasy, plus I'm not a photogenic person. Lessons I must learn to become a better person. I hope that I didn't ruin the night for Miss Alfeo, or her birthday. Hopefully the movie more than made up for it, and if not, I will finally get a gramatical correction from a previous blog...{stold=stolen}...no more hillbillyisms that are intentional.

Chicken Little = funny movie. Any Disney flick that has Patrick Warburton doing a voice (i.e. 'Emperors New Groove'), even a small one, is bound to be a funny funny movie. We laughed, cried, and laughed some more with happy crying at the same time. Upon leaving the theater though, I was thrown quite violently into the wall by a very strong young lady, who if I may say so, looked very lovely on her 22nd birthday, and bounced off that wall like a rubber ball. Guess it helps that I'm round and rubbery like said ball. (fat boy comment) The dinner last night was fun, I didn't die. I was Kendall Clark, famous radio soap star who was reportedly just removed from a mental assylum, reported by those damned paparazzis, looking to make a rebound in his career, and hosting a dance competition that turns into a blood bath. Sounds kind of like a crazy Stephen King novel. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" Thats scary.

So I finally come to a point where I am close to going and tucking myself into bed, pulling the covers over my head, and repeating, "I don't smell sulpher, and that dark figure in the corner is just Manny the Manaquine....Wait, Manny's in the living room.....Why me?!

Foot in my Mouth

Ever get that "Taste of where you've been walking" feeling? Well, I sure have. Boy did I put my foot in my mouth. On a previous entry, I refered to myself as a lonely egg, then Miss Alfeo stating that she saved me from my loneliness, with the help of a certain llama, with me only to go a step further and saying she was the stick of butter that kept me company in the fridge. What was I thinking? I basically called her Mark!?! I'm lucky Miss Alfeo will still talk to me, because if I called myself Mark, I wouldn't talk to myself either. Please forgive me Miss Alfeo, I should have thought it out more....you were the worcester sauce (thats only funny because I can't pronounce it even if my life depended on it) that kept me company.

Now that I've done my civic duty of brown nosing, on to tonite...Mystery Dinner Theater 3000. I've yet to recieve my name, which is a bit of a concern, because everyone else got their names, and they are bad! It leads me to really worry what my name is...I have the persona for my character, but alas, no name. For all I know, my name could be Henry Flubberbottom, or Percy Cartwright. The worst could be Stephen Diaz. God forbid. Hehe, ok that was a bit of a cheap shot, but I laughed.

I need to find a Goodwill near the house, because I don't want to drive all the way out to the bluff. A new/old vest and suspenders will neatly finish my costume (almost said outfit, and that would have been the exact opposite of straight.)

By the way, Serenity will be released on DVD December 20th! A sure fire christmas present, since I won't have to worry about doing anything for orphans or frostbite now. That will atleast make up for the latter. Great movie, sure to be awesome DVD.

"Can we start with the part where Jayne gets beat up by a 90 pound girl? Because that's NEVER getting old. "

Mean and Hurtful Comments from the Peanut Gallery

Ok, well, there seems to be those in the peanut gallery that have some things to say about my 'personal apperance fee'. They've labeled me as 'sounding alot like Mark'. That is not a good thing. So I am retracting my previous claim of an apperance fee, and will simply take a 'hardy handshake and a nice to see you' greeting.

The joys of Blogs. I get to rant and carry on about all kinds of random things that, well, I deem as important to me. Y'all become victims of captive audience land. Well, not completely captive, since you just have to close the window or change the URL, but I hope that you don't......please?

I recieved some grief because I prefer to write in hillbillyisms. That is, I type out what it sounds like when I talk with my east texas drawl. (Sorry Miss Alfeo, but when someone steals from you, in hillbilly it is simply, ''STOLD"). Didn't mean to burst your bubble.

It is Thursday. Another week coming to a close. What a joy. Tonight, if the plans stay like they are supposed to go, I'll get to go see 'Serenity' at the dollar theater. Yipee! What a great movie. I am excited to see the movie, yet again.

Dang it. I spilled my iced tea in my lap again...wait a tick...I'm not drinking iced tea....uh oh.

Mystery Dinner Theater 3000

I wonder how many people will read my blog besides the coolest of the cool, Miss Alfeo. I wonder if I can write things about people, and they'd never know. But that isn't cool. Next weekend, the TAMUCC Revolution group is going camping. We're going camping! Disturbing that I find that really exciting? A little. I hope that the racoons return, and I can turn one into a hat for Le' since he really loves the Guadelupe State Park racoons. They are so cute, as he lovingly describes them. So a weekend with the people from TAMUCC? Entertaining. Wrangling more armadillos? Abso-friggen-lootly.

Friday night. Mystery Dinner 3000, 15 people, one killer, and 14 dead bodies. Quaint. I hope that I can be a super sleuth, and crack the code. My one concern is that the killer isn't the puppeteer. Then there will be trouble, because it will turn out there really is a killer out there trying to kill us by using our strengths against us. What is my strength? How can you be killed by good looks? Get crushed by a mirror? That would be no fun. Hope I can be half as good as Sherlock Holmes, and twice as cunning as James Bond, but one fourth as smooth as Michael Corbin with the ladies, and the french teacher.

I'm all alone.....no one is home with me....alone.....now I know how the last egg in a carton of eggs feels. Just waiting to be cracked.

The things I'll do for my friends

What? I have to sign up with blogger just so I can post mocking comments on Le's blog? What a chump deal. I feel cheated. Now the government, which I have been ducking for years will find me out! Cripes! Not a good thing at all. I'm going to have to chose a new alias, something different, something no one will ever figure out is me. How does Alex Brahomowitz sound? Hmmm, maybe a little to brash. Maybe I'll just refer to myself as Captain Charisma, and always talk in the 3rd person. I wonder what that would sound like.....

"Well, Captain Charisma is here to talk about what Captain Charisma feels is important. Right now he feels like black holes are dangerous places to be around. Even though he would be safe from the powers that be around the black hole, simple people like Le' would be crushed, and smashed and squashed because Le' isn't as powerful as Captain Charisma."

Well, maybe not in the 3rd person, it gets annoying typing my name over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over again. (Oh, if you copy and paste it gets even easier!)

So, things for the weekend...Friday night, mystery dinner theater 3000, Nothing like mocking bad actors! Saturday, birthday dinner for Miss Alfeo....can't wait for that shindig. Fun stuff with fun people, unless that annoying Captain Charisma shows up. And Sunday, well, lets just say espionage is on the rise, and those good spys really throw a cog in my goings ons. Well, I think since I am so popular, I will start charging for apperances. 3 dollars a pop sounds good. Don't want to chase all the ladies away. So thats the weekend in a nutshell, wait, you hear that? Let me guess? Waterfall? Yep. Jagged rocks at the bottom? Most likely. Bring it on.

Fear nothing but the Lord, for His judgement is all that is to be feared.