Wow, More Mindless Drabble

Wow, I feel like blogging. That's strange. I haven't been this literary in quite a while (I do miss posting for y'all as much as possible, but I don't' get comments, and I get paid more by the more comments I get, and if I don't get paid, then I can't write on my blog. I'm a starving artist here!). I'm really not at home much any more. I have become quite the socialite. I study, go to school, work at the church, and then devote the rest of my time to my friends (who aren't demanding of my time, would probably love to have time away from me, but still humor me by keeping my presence around). I spend every Wednesday night at church for Halo ministries (console killing for Christ?, nope that was shot down by Le', so we now say, 'Come find your Halo on Wednesday Nights', yeah, its kinda catchy). So, being Wedsnday, that is where I will be tonight, playing Halo. I will get to unveil my new catch phrase for playing (and my super awesome sniping position), 'want some flair?!'. If you hear that, then you are in trouble, because I'm about to pistol whip you, and make you respawn. I got to do some flair-ing last night, and got 2 doublekills out of it (yes, flair-ing it up is great).

We ate at Chili's last night. Not bad, but my favorite waitress wasn't there (she's the bestest in the world, atleast at a restaurant I can afford). I had alot of random and awkward things to say, because there were others at the table getting into heated discussions, so I tried my best (not totally in vain) to keep the mood lighthearted. The two comments that got the most attention were 'I like to eat manure', and 'I regurgitated a faucet'. Why would I come up with such awkward and not socially acceptable comments to say? Simple, Jakob challenged me to a game of things to say in public, while in conversation with new people, that would be deemed socially awkward at best. I do like a couple of them though, such as 'Jimmy Carter says yes' (I'll use that one when ever I'm discussing the War, HA take that Jimmy!), 'a hero kills people' (true, especially if its Chuck Norris), and what I'm sure I'll say alot to new people, while in conversation, '...the stanley maneuver'. That one is so out there and has nothing to do with anything. Thats what I"m talking about. Complete pandemonium.

On the upsetness front, besides me being single, not having a gun, Misty not sharing pudding, me being single, not having a gun, no one commenting on my blog, did I mention me being single, or not owning a gun? I'm really upset that I'm not fulfilling my potential to the fullest (I know, but I know I'm capable of more, I'm like a pseudo-superhero, just with out any super powers, I'm the Aquaman of the group). I just don't feel like I'm living up to what I'm being called to do. Maybe it takes time, well I know it takes time, but still, I want to be at that level. Aw pooh. Then again, Annie Oakley is my historical honey (alright! 3 points per any new person that reads my blog! HAHAHA, take that Jakob!). Pooh.

Death. The eternal blink. The capricious dance of Now You Stop Moving Forever. Well, contrary to popular belief, death isn't just for dead people. It can happen to anyone. I know, it's news to me too. And it's not just people either, it's all kinds of stuff. Horses, fiddler crabs. Did you know that even a potato... can die?

Grand Theft Auto: Corpus Christi

In a country galvanized by war, a current vice president has taken up where arron burr left off. No more mr. nice cheney. This time, he's out for more blood in the heart of south texas:
I've had some friends ask me about what was going on with dead eye dick, and the whole accidental shooting. Simple, VP cheney believes he's in his very own version of grand theft auto: Corpus Christi. He went out and found himself a rampage icon, and went on a killing spree. He's out shooting everyone. It's no longer a safe place to be here in corpus christi. Even me, the toughest man in the world, is afraid for my life. Talk about scary. You never know where Dead eye Dick might jump out at you. Run for your life, man, RUN!!!!

My mother wants a reason why I need a CHL? That's why, Dead Eye Dick is on the loose (told ya that I'd find a reason for me needing one!). On to other news, Friday was one of the most interesting 24 hours I've experienced in quite a while. First, I got to have the privledge of having dinner with Misty, Jakob, and his family at Millers (you have to get the po'boy with spicey sausage, it's to die for). Talked with Jakobs grandfather about the life and times during WW2, and his experiences on a USN battlecruiser (I have a ton of respect for any WW2 vet). After dinner, World Domination participated in the spring tourney on campus. Well, we won. Finally, last seasons demise was avenged. Can you believe it? I found the net from full court (yes Justin I know, I'm a cheap baseball card and you own me, but still, FULL COURT MAN!).

After soccer, Jakob, Misty, Justin and Sarah, and myself went and joined Jess Kelley at the youth lock-in at church. Things went pretty smooth for the time that we were there...well I say smooth. Kids are hellions, and sometimes you just want to shoot them, I know I wanted to. Anyways, the kids played 'Underground Church', and for those of you who have never heard of this game, its quite simple. There are 3-4 guards, one of which is a crypto-Christian. His job is to get other Christians (all the other players in the game) to the church before the bad guards catch them. This guard must also watch his six because if the other guards figure him out, then he can be killed, game over...(YOU HEAR ME? GAME OVER MAN! GAME OVER!). Oh yeah, the game is played in pitch black conditions, only the guards have lights. While playing two of these runts were running (which they were specifically told NOT to do), and had a meeting of minds, so to speak. We're talking lots of blood, yes, one of them sprung a leak from their noggin. Jess and I worked like a flawless team, and helped take care of everything. Poor girl, she had to get 9 stitches in her head. Funniest part, while I'm going to the first aid kit, Tommy comes waltzing into the kitchen asking me, "Hey, why are you turning all the lights on?" I gave him the quick rundown for our stricken victim. While Jess and Tommy were escorting the bleeder to the hospital, Jakob and I had to stay at the church to help keep things under control. Crikes. I wasn't home until 8 this morning. Over 24 hours of non-stop action. I'm pooped. For those of you out there, the Grand Theft Auto, is a trademark of Rockstar games, but I plan to write up a neat little synopsis of GTA: Corpus Christi. I think it will be funny, and maybe just what my blog needs for national notoriety. Crossing my fingers.

One day while sitting in class you'll look outside the window to see Russians dropping down to take us over. What are you gonna do then, huh? Run into the woods with your friends, put twigs in your hair, call yourselves the Wolverines and fight off the Russians? I think not.

Gun Safety: I Promise I'll Try to Never Shoot Myself

So, today is the day after valentines day. What a sham of a day. Hallmark created valentines day just to make those of us who are single (like me) feel inadequate. Plus, my friends who are not single, love to rub the fact that they have someone, IN MY FACE! Not cool man, not cool at all. So, I and a friend of mine, Mr. Beltcher boycotted valentines day, and we went to The Sharpshooter to look at guns (thats right, the macho man thing to do, check out firearms). Saw alot of really cool guns, and now I want one. I want my concealed handgun license. I think the whole world will be safer that I get to carry a gun around. But unfortunately, my family doesn't think that I'm safe enough to carry a gun. They are afraid that I'd do something like this here:



Yeah, can you believe that? I would never EVER do that. I have not given one instance where that kind of thought could be even processed about me. I kinda feel like Ralphy here, from a 'Christmas Story', and them telling me I'd shoot my eye out. I'm not going to be cocky and say that I know for a fact that I would never do that, just because it is stupid to make that kind of statement, but I would get my CHL, and the classes that go along with it, that would make me safer. My father pointed out he said it was scary since I have quite a bit of Smith blood in me, and that is just a precursor to danger (I resemble that remark). Well, now that my mom knows about that (you should since you read this), prove him wrong, and get me a gun. Thats all I have to say. I want a gun!!!!

My new roommate moves in tonight. Exciting. We'll see how it goes, having a female roommate and all, but I know it will be all good. I grew up with a sister, but she never spoke spanish, or was from columbia. That might be a new thing, but I know for sure that I better not get less than a B in spanish II.

Heavy is good, heavy is reliable. If it doesn't work you can always hit them with it.

Just a Cool Video

My Name is Spontaneity

Can you believe it? I did something extremely spontaneous. How you ask? Simple, I jumped into a car with two of my bestest buds here in Corpus Christi, and rode 3 hours to good ol' H-town (Sugarland to be exact, but H-town none the less). It was my first true spontaneous trip EVER! It was very exhilarating. No one knew that I had booked out of town, (unfortunately, neither did my new roommate who I forgot was supposed to move in today, and boy I got me some explaining to do). It was a fun adventure, and I hope to do that again some time soon.

Ok, so here's how it went down. Jakob had a mom of one of his old youth group members back in H-town invite him up to see the last performance of her play, and insisted that he make the trip. So, he enlisted the company of JK, and myself. I had 30 minutes to prepare to be ready to leave. So we hit the road, and neither Jakob or JK will tell me the play that we're going to see, well atleast not for the first hour. Then, they lay it on me, we're going to be seeing 'Cabaret'. Yes, 'Cabaret'. This is the very play that is quite the anti-Semitic satire of 1930's Berlin. Nazi's, constant comments about Jews, and of course, scantily clad, promiscuous burlesque dancers. It was quite good. Actually, the show was really good. I liked it alot, and makes me wish that I could get back into acting, or that Corpus would have an acting troupe that did performances we could watch (I want to be in a production of 'The Producers', and be Elizabeth the Director).

After the play, Jakob, JK, and myself joined the entire prepschool cast at IHOP for dinner (all you can eat pancakes, I thought I died and went to heaven). It is very odd to hang out with people that are almost a decade younger than you. I felt extremely old, and antiquated. Geez. They made fun of me because I knew nothing of this spongebob, or the new eras of power rangers (that and I talked of some show called 'Fraggle Rock').
I just couldn't get past that culture shock. They were extremely nice kids though. We stayed in H-town for the night, and then drove back to CC this afternoon.

I loved this spontaneity, the company, the sights, sounds and everything else that went along with it. I could not have asked for more (well, maybe a girlfriend I could have taken along as well, but eh, I'm not going to be picky). Just wish I would have taken my camera. That makes me sad.

Mokey Fraggle: It was rapturous!
Red Fraggle: Is "rapturous" the same as "boring"?
Wembly Fraggle: I don't think so.
Red Fraggle: Then she's wrong.

I Can't Leave on a Sappy Note

I can't leave on a mushy sap note (although I did mean every word I ment in my last post), but I have to go manly, feel manly, and post something manly. I'm sure Jakob will find this very pimp, very awesome, but I don't think even his robot fighting skills will be able to match this. So sit back, watch, and enjoy (oh and Jakob, I understand if you are shaking in your boots, I'd be scared too if I'd ever met my match)...



Wow, that robot was pimp. The dude fights crime in a third world country. Jakob, this robot might have the ability to take you to your limits. A place you've never been to before. It could be very interesting, I'm not saying you'd lose, but it would definatly raise your abilities up considerably after an encounter with this thing.

Hockey tonight. Yipee to free tickets! I love hockey. Hopefully I'll have some pictures, even if I must steal them from Le' (maybe Jakob will bring his camera, and then he'd share his pictures with me, hopefully). Crime fighting robots are cool.

Frankie, you broke the unwritten law. You ratted on your friends. When you do that Frankie, you're enemies don't respect you. You got no friends no more. You got nobody, Frankie.

Call me: Codebreaker Zero

Wow, I never knew that someone out there would really care for me like this. I am extremely touched (really, there could be tears). Before I get on to that, I have to say that I am amazed that a wedding can cause such a fervor amongst my colleagues. A little marriage between two people caused this rupture in the fabric of the blogging universe. I must say. There are 'those' who are declaring their singleness, and others lamenting about the same fact. Ofcourse, that leaves me, right there in the middle, Mr. Nice Guy. The eternal one, the guy who holds the Guinness Book World Record for being told 'I just want to be friends' the most than any other guy in the world. Wow, what a stinking honor. I have no issue being the constant and proverbial big brother, but that will never get my mother the grandchildren she so desperately wants (there is the Asian baby black market...).

A certain someone posted a comment about the certain somebody she has the crushes on for, and after careful analyzation, I discovered a code in their post (turns out the secret crush is ME!!!) Who would of thunkt it? Not I, thats for sure. I had to go all "A Beautiful Mind" to discover it, but I did. How you ask? Simple, Just take the second N, the 13th I, 40th C, and the last K, and you get me, NICK. Then the very last paragraph proclaims this hidden love for me! I am extremely touched.

Ok, in all seriousness (I am just kidding bout the code), this person who I'm talking about has become a real special friend to me over the past couple of months. Although she and I have had our differences, squabbles, and all around irritations towards one another, she has proven to be a valuable person in my life. She has a special place in my heart, will always hold my admiration, prayers, and keep me in utter awe when it comes to anything she does. I'm going to keep her in my prayers that she gets the loving and supportive husband she deserves. I am thankful that she is in my life, and so very lucky to know her, and be able to joke like she and I do.

Wow, I can be a real sap. I'm just a sucker for pretty women. I'll get ribbed from the guys about this. It's all good though, I meant every word of it

If we all go for the blonde and block each other, not a single one of us is going to get her. So then we go for her friends, but they will all give us the cold shoulder because no on likes to be second choice. But what if none of us goes for the blonde? We won't get in each other's way and we won't insult the other girls. It's the only way to win.

Marital Bliss

So, today was a very fun day. A day that also kinda irritated me, from a 'legal' standpoint, excited to see two friends join in Holy Matrimony, sad because I am still not married, and elated that, I'm still not married (c'mon, we all know that the day I get married, the apocalypse will occur). Chris and Heather were married today, February 4th, 2006. It was a joyous event. Everyone laughed, because they played an interesting choice for the processional song after the announcing the bride and groom, the 'Superman' theme song. I was waiting to see Christopher Reeves, fly in and do something crazy (although he passed away over a year ago), or Gene Hackman hold the whole place up for ransom...he was a great Lex Luthor. I was a groomsman, I had to wear a tux, therefore, I found me a shoulder holster. Finally, I found a use for the Christmas gift my father got me, that didn't involve me doing anything to get me in trouble. I like it when I can do things and not get in trouble (people enjoyed my idea). I went straight mobster with my Walther P99. Pimpin' the side-arm under the tux. Thats right, take a look. Women love a man who carries some iron.
So thats how I get ladies to hold onto my arm. I wish I had thought of it sooner. I really do. Ah well. I look straight thug.

In the wedding pictures, I quietly flashed the gun in multiple pictures (made it look like a real Texas wedding). The entire wedding party loved it (one of the Grooms relatives challenged me to see who's gun was bigger, but I chose not to pursue that, I think that was a wise move). Someone asked me if I was an off-duty CCPD officer, and my response was, 'no, just a member of the local crime syndicate, I'm a part of THE family). It was fun, and now I WANT my concealed handgun license, and a real Walther P99 (you know, if I cant get a new set of clubs for graduation, a real Walther would rock *hint hint*). It would be great to shoot bad guys.

So, now you are asking, 'What was it that made you mad?', and It's quite simple. The photographer threw a fit because people were taking pictures at the wedding. She claimed the contract that was signed gave her EXCLUSIVE rights to all the pictures, and that if other took pictures, they were in breach of the contract. What a load of pure grade A horse manure. My picture was taken quite a few times, (c'mon, I was the dude with the shoulder holster and gun) and that meant that they were copyrighting pictures of me. ONLY I OWN THE RIGHTS TO MY IMAGE! ME! I did not give consent to exclusive image rights to the photographer, and therefore, if they sell any pictures of me (which they have copyrighted), I legally deserve a piece of the profit of images of me (since I own the franchise). Oh brother, I wish I had a lawyer friend. Anywho, for those of you who missed it, check me out at the wedding, and how I finally got the ladies to swarm all over me.
Gee, that is just an awesome picture. Straight out of the 1920's. I could have been the next Al Capone (That or Elliot Ness). Guns are great, God bless the 2nd Amendment!

The gun katas. Through analysis of thousands of recorded gunfights, the Cleric has determined that the geometric distribution of antagonists in any gun battle is a statistically predictable element. The gun kata treats the gun as a total weapon, each fluid position representing a maximum kill zone, inflicting maximum damage on the maximum number of opponents while keeping the defender clear of the statistically traditional trajectories of return fire. By the rote mastery of this art, your firing efficiency will rise by no less than 120%. The difference of a 63% increase to lethal proficiency makes the master of the gun katas an adversary not to be taken lightly.