Where is the Charisma?

Well, once again it has been an eterntiy since I have gone and posted on this blog. I feel that I have let down my faithful following, and then I slap myself to realize that there is no following. The only person who comments is my best friend Joe. He cares at what I have to say, that or he just likes to pitty me because no one else will leave comments (c'mon, he lives in Virginia...like there is anything to do in Virginia, except go to Washington D.C. and heckle the politicians?). Anyways, I should comment more often. I always have funny things to say. I am a funny person, with an addictive personality (ok, truth be told, I put cocaine into my friends drinks so they form an addictive need to be around me....but I digress). Then again, I feel I should still share my opinion for the world, and you know what? I will!

Since the last time I posted, Brooke and I went to Corpus, we've eclipsed the 3 month mark, I have started working at a golf driving range, and God has definatly given me things to think about, and opened doors for me. First on the trip to Corpus. Brooke and I made a 60 hour trip to Corpus and back for a short weekend to visit all my lovely friends down on the coast. Brooke really enjoyed herself, and my friends seemed to show a massive intrest in her (yipee for Brooke). I'm so glad that it worked out great for both parties, and of course me as well. We stayed with the Novasads, and Brooke and I went to the Lexington, I almost got sucked into a jet turbine engine, nearly fell down the gangway, and we were attacked by blood hungry butterflies. It was scary. We got to see JK show off her fire breathing skills, which, well, would not make any dragon swell with envy. Ah well. We met an awesome illusionist, and this guy named Jared Hall (he was a pretty good illusionist as well). Le' had some superwickedawesome (look, a new word, man I'm awesome!) card tricks. Made me want to take up magic tricks. I'm slowly learning, but I'm not ready to take my show on the road just yet. That was the basic trip in a nutshell. Lots o' fun.

Ok, so now that everyone is caught up. Time for the funny part of my post. My mother took me to go look for a new christmas tree. She wants a thinner taller tree (I want a wide one because you can put a lot of loot underneath it), but I pointed out that a real tree would be so much awesome. Then I got to thinking, knowing my luck, it would turn into a 'National Lampoon Christmas Vacation'. My moms cats would bring in a squirrel, and let it loose into the house. It will hide in the tree, and on Christmas day, Brooke would be like, "do you hear that? that knawing sound?" I'll get up, and just like Chevey Chase, will look into the tree, and be attacked by a flesh eating squirrel. So I veto any chance of a real Christmas tree. Don't want to be attacked by a zombie squirrel, I love my brains, and I'm kind of attached to them, and they're attached to me.

Until next time.

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm So Ashamed!

Well, hello there. Long time no talk. I know, I know, I should be ashamed of myself. Can you believe it? I'm a cheater. I found a mistress, and by doing so, I have taken for granted something that has been there for me from the beginning. Why? I can't believe that I let myself become such a bastard. I better be careful, because I wouldn't want to end up in a Deutarotamy 23:1-3 situation. That could be bad. What is this talk of cheating am I talking about? Are there people freaking out assuming that I have found someone else and I have not been faithful to Brooke? No, she's all there for me. What I'm talking about is my extra-blogging affair that I've had on blogger. I have found myself dwelling in the land of *sigh* myspace. Oh mylanta. What have I done? I've gone from the classy lady of the internet to the easy hussy that hangs out on the corner of dirty-internet lane. I feel so dirty. Then again, am I really to blame? Can I pull the new American perspective and cast the blame on to someone else? Sure, why not. One reason I find myself dwelling in myspace land is the fact I get comments there! Can you believe it? People actually come and comment on myspace. Far more than just the few close people that take my blog to heart, and really enjoy its endearing comments. This site isn't going to put skanky advertisements in your face. I feel ashamed. As well I should be.

So, now that I've confessed my transgressions, I know that there are those who are wondering.....what have I been up to? We remember you moving to East Texas, I hear them thinking, then what? Well, to be honest...I've been doing the job hunt thing. I've done an interview, alot of applications, and a feeling of rejection. It is a little upsetting when you know you are called to go somewhere, and yet, things don't just fall in your lap. I stay positive, but it can be pretty hard. One extremely pleasant surprise though, I found the girl of my dreams. Talk about happy. That is how she makes me feel when ever we are around, and when I just think about her. I've become a sap. Sappy, I'm like a pine tree that has been cut. Sap everywhere. I should be ashamed, but I'm not. All y'all will just have to get over it. Other than that I got myself a job at a driving range while I search for a 'real' job. Then on to golf...
There has been something that has been bothering me though. Part of why I was called back home was to focus on my golf game. The work of it is going good. I'm falling in another area. For a long time, I've had a problem with my temper. I was one to fill with anger rather quickly

• ang*er(nggr) n. A strong feeling of displeasure or hostility.

but this only occurs when I encounter some extreme frustration

• frus*ra*tion(fr-strshn) n. 1. a. The act of frustrating or an instance of being frustrated. b. The state of being frustrated. 2. Something that serves to frustrate.

I have come to the realization that I have slid quite a bit in terms of my temper management. I have not had a major blast like the one that occured a couple years ago that brought my issue to ahead, but I've had quite a few microbursts. These have occured mainly on the golf course. I can not proceed in this venue with this kind of problem. I recognize the problem, and I know that I am aware of the process needed to fix it. The Man upstairs is going to have to be a major part of it, but I as well must accept responsibility. I need to focus He is the reason I play, and where I was given my talent. I have been failing in that area. That hurts a lot, and is the reason why I don't seem to be progressing any more. Of course they say that knowing is half the battle. So, that is what I've been up to. Trying to find a job, being a lousy worse half to blogger, and adoring Brooke. Next week, a road trip to Corpus Christi. Be warned. See you Friday!
What Nostalgic Super Nintendo Game are you?

Zelda: Link to The Past
You are Zelda: a Link to The Past. You are a classic tale of maiden fair locked up in the tower of an evil villain, and the brave somewhat dashing hero that comes to save her. Save fairies in bottles to rejuvinate you during battle and you should be okay.

Oh yeah, that is the other thing I've been up to. Sweet.

We have enjoyed preparing many of your esoteric dishes. Your Monte Cristo sandwich is a current favorite among the adventurous.

What in the Blue Blazes?! I am the Wild Blue Yonder!

So, I've been quite incognito when it comes to the land of this thing called 'the in-ter-net (sp?)'. Wondering what I've been up to? No, I didn't think so. I've been living life. Could be better, could be worse. Isn't that always how life goes. I wish to strive to for higher, and I do try, but sometimes I feel inadequate. We all fall short of the glory of God, but isn't it awesome that Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice for us that even though we fall short, we still have been given that unbelievable gift. At times (in my opinion, a lot of the time) I'm guilty for taking that concept for granted. We are still called to be exemplary, and shine for Christ in everything we do. E-V-E-R-Y THING. I found out what a positive feeling it can be for being that kind of light in how we show ourselves in public. Ok, backstory first though...

Around this time last year, actually about 2 weeks from now, I missed my flight back to Corpus from Longview. That meant I had to catch a flight out the next morning at 545 in the morning. Talk about a blast. Well, I was not the happiest of people knowing that I wouldn't be getting to the surprise party that was being thrown for me back in Corpus that night (yes, I knew well before hand). Anyways, that next morning, I'm sitting in the lobby, waiting to board the plane. There was a father and daughter sitting next to me, and the father noticed that I was reading my bible. It started a conversation that lasted all the way from Longview to the DFW airport. That is all I thought about it.
Until this past week. I went to pick up dinner at our local Applebees (yes, I was a little to lazy to fix dinner that night). Anyways, when the waitress brought me the order, she looked at me and goes, "You look really familiar." I get that alot. I am a want to be famous guy. Turns out she was the girl who was at the airport nearly one year ago. She then told me that she remembered what her father and I talked about, and that was crazy in my opinion. I doubt that if I had talked about something else, or hadn't been willing to share the gospel, she'd have never remembered me. In some way, I had an effect on her life, how ever small it might have been. That is why we should try our best to be what Christ would want us to be. I'm trying, how about you?

Ok, that was kind of like an 'Afternoon Special' on NBC, but unlike those, what I just talked about, is 100% true. Anyways. Life in the Piney Woods is quite nice. About as hot as Corpus, but there are a heck of alot more trees. Brooke and I are doing great, although she yells at me alot and calling me names. Then again, everyone calls me names, so I don't complain. The next tournament I play in, which will be on the 21st of October, turns out will have a 'celebrity guest' attending. The one and only Matthew McConaghey will be in attendance. How awesome for me, right? I just totally enjoy being around him, just like being in a tent filled with malaria carrying mosquitoes. Anywho, I saw this Family Guy clip, and it just made me laugh a whole lot, and kind of expresses how I feel about this actor (to be honest, I've heard that he has mellowed out since his nude bongo arrest in Austin), so I wouldn't wish it on him. We will see how it goes next month. But check this clip anyways.

Well guys and gals, I'll keep y'all posted on everything that is going on here in the Piney Woods, and so on and so on. Nothing funny to write tonite, but soon, hopefully soon, I'll have something funny to post.

If you ever leave me with a kid again I'll make sure you never have one. You have no idea what those screaming booger eaters are like. They expect you to... know stuff!

This Would be Number 75

Can you believe it? This is my 75th blogger blog. That is totally amazing. Not the fact that Blogger is willing to host 75 posts from me, but the fact that I can be mostly creative and funny for an astounding 75 times. Please hold your applause, and no flash photography, thank you. So how do I commemorate this amazing achievement? Well, I try to make funny. Maybe I can come up with something hysterical, something that will make you spew milk out of your nose as you are reading this (hopefully it doesn't mess up your computer monitor). So I came up with a wonderful idea on how to mark this special occasion, and involve my fans, but I've already tried the whole send an email to ask people to write back what they think (apparently my friends can't think that well, or they're just too lazy to write me a simple email). It would have been cool to see what people have to say about the first 74 posts I've written, and to hear what it is that they've liked most. If you chose to do that though, and you are someone who will actually say something..post it as a comment! I'll be glad to hear what you have to say. So I have this to use as a commemorative tool for my blog here:
Well, it has been a solid month since I have moved back to the Piney Woods, and there are a few major points on the news front. The top headline is I have found someone I am totally sold to, and could not find a reason not to be with her. Brooke is just totally amazing and awesome. I look forward to every chance I get to spend with her, whether it be just an hour or two for lunch, or the entire evening on a romantic date (hush all of you skeptics, I do know how to be romantic, just ask Brooke). Yes that is the most important headline I have to share. Other top stories since I've been here? Well for one, which my parents would probably think should be the top story as of late...I still have yet to find a job. I have quite a few leads, but nothing signed sealed and delivered (even Brookes family is getting in on the act asking when I'm going to get that elusive job). Oh, here is something else that I know quite a few people will love to hear, but won't read it here because they are to lazy to come visit me on blogger. I have created a *gasp* myspace account. Check it out....ask me to be your friend, and if I like you, I'll add you, if not? Well I'm sure I like you so you should be added.

Well, the inbred Jed came out today....I caught me a hummingbird. Yes, one of those fast flying tiny birds (and sorry Brooke, but they don't have a big sharp beak to peck you with and hurt you, they're gentle). Unfortunately, I have yet to find a snake, which has made me sad, but Brooke is sure glad that has been the case. She hates snakes, but she has agreed to go see 'Snakes on a Plane', isn't she an awesome girlfriend? I sure think so. Well, that's all I got. I hope that you have enjoyed this 75th post on blogger as much as I have (or should have).

Somebody asked me today, "Phil, if you could be anywhere in the world, where would you like to be?" And I said to him, "Prob'ly right here - Elko, Nevada, our nation's high at 79 today." Out in California, they're gonna have some warm weather tomorrow, gang wars, and some *very* overpriced real estate. Up in the Pacific Northwest, as you can see, they're gonna have some very, very tall trees.

Captain Charisma Rides Again!

So, I've been thinking (nobody pass out from suprise, I do think). Life sure is different back here in the Piney Woods. Things just aren't the same. I don't have a large group of people to spend numerous hours with doing random and fun things (Halo and movies come to mind). I basically have one person to fill that void with, but you won't hear me complaining. No offense, but she is prettier and holds my feelings captive better than the crew in Corpus (that and she's really pretty too). It would be nice if I could have my cake and eat it too, but I can't for two reasons: thats just how life is, and well I'm getting a little chunky (time to lay off the cake). I'm hoping that Brooke will be able to go on a road trip or two so she can meet the other people that mean a ton to me in my life. She was given the opportunity to meet one of my Corpus friends, when Mike came to Longview to bring me the rest of my crap I left in Corpus. It was an amazingly cool thing for him to do such a favor, and it was fun to get to hang out a bit (although, I think Mike came to find that Longview has about the same boring tendencies that Corpus Christi has...although we could have gone bowling for like $5).

Speaking of Corpus friends, Le caught my last post and the fact that I changed the name, and a couple of facts on my 'Hitman Name' stats. So, in retaliation, he quickly edited his, and changed his stats to Halo stats, but didn't change the header. Well since Longview doesn't have much to do, and Brooke was doing family things...I did change some things. Check it out. This is comming from Death's one mortal Halo enemy, the venerable Captain Charisma.
Golf has been entertaining, and slowly I'm finding my game again. I've torn down a portion of my swing, and I'm trying to get rid of the hitch at the top, causing a bit of a pull (why am I sharing these technical terms, because y'all probably don't understand it). I'll test my tournament fortitude come the end of the month in the city tournament. So we will see. Of course, there has been something else that has been keeping me more occupied than concearns of golf. If you're smart, you'll know what I'm talking about, and if you can't, I won't spell it out, but I'll let her tell you in person if I can talk her into a 7 hour car ride south.

I'll keep y'all posted on any new developments, golf, Brooke, life, otherwise.

Come on Bennett, throw away the gun, you don't just want to pull the trigger, you want to put the knife in me, and look me in the eye, and see whats going on in there when you turn it, thats what you want to do, right?

Some Special News

So, it has been a few days since I've posted, and I know that y'all are wanting to know everything that is going down with me, and you know, it has been great. This will be short and quick, I just have this to say. I asked Brooke if she felt that we should be a little more serious in our relatinoship, and she said 'sure thing.' So I guess you could say that I have a formal girlfriend, we aren't just dating any more. It's wild I know, but we spent a good three weeks before I moved back here, emailing each other, and we've learned alot about each other. It's just amazing. Oh, and Le posted this name generator to see what your hitman name is, and well, I did it...check me out!

Frankie Monticeillo People Iced: Two Hundred Car Bombs Planted: Twenty Five Favorite Weapon Springfield 1911 A Arms Broken: Twenty Three Eyes Gouged: Thirty Two Tongues Cut Off: One Biggest Enemy: Jack Hammer

The site even gave me Le's name as my biggest enemy. How crazy is that? That, and I'm a hitman hoss. Fear me, I'm the reaper.

I'm very sorry the government taxes their tips, that's messed up. That ain't my fault. It would seem to me that waitresses are one of the many groups the government screws in the rear on a regular basis. Look, if you ask me to sign something that says the government shouldn't do that, I'll sign it, put it to a vote, I'll vote for it, but what I won't do is play ball. And as for this non-college bullcrap I got two words for that: learn to freakin' type, 'cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent you're in for a big stinkin' surprise.

Oh the Good Ol Times

I finally think I'm getting close to being settled in. My room is starting to look like a room, and I have my home theater set up (man, you gotta love it when you can crank it!). I find myself missing my friends in Corpus on some nights, especially on Fridays, because I know they're going to the movies without me. Well, that is how life goes it. I shouldn't complain. I am now where God wants me to be, and by me crying would basically mean I was throwing a fit over what He wants me to do. So I can't do that. Life in the pineywoods is still nice, but I don't think the temperature or humidity is any different. Plus, I find myself in a very awesome situation as well.

What is this situation you ask? Simply put, I have found someone who lights up my smile every time she is around, or even when I just think about her. Brooke and I have really enjoyed each others company, and we also look to grow closer to God before we move closer to each other. Thats how it should be done. Right now, I can't think of any nicer suprise in moving back here, than to being able to date such a wonderful person. Simply amazing.

On to other news, it has been brought to my attention that my close friend Joe and myself will be comming up on our 10 year anniversary. I never thought about how long we had been friends, and I guess I had been taking that for granted that he and I have been close for so long (even though he moved off to Oklahoma, and now Virginia). This is a guy who was there for me in the akward years in highschool, and all the bad dates both he and I went on. There was even a point where we were conisdered a couple by both our familys because we spent so much time together. Ah, those great disfunctional years of highschool. What was fun back in the day were the PPV wrestling nights, charging $5 a head, and serving cheap pizza from Cici's. Not sure we ever turned a profit, but we had a blast watching grown men beat the crap out of each other. We also found ourselves in trouble with the establishment, causing all kinds of trouble. We even brought his brother into our deviant activities. While trying to pick up one of our other highschool chums, we apperently were being a tad bit too loud, and the neighbor across the street starting threatening to call the cops on us. We quickly tried to leave the scene, but not before Joe's little brother gave the neighbor a crotchchop, and quickly lead to us pulling him into the car as we sped off (man, talk about the good ol times...). I'm intent to try and build to another 20 years. It will be fun.

Jane, since I've met you I've noticed things that I never knew were there before; birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights.

I'm the Cookie Monster....Okay?

So it seems that I have been pulled into the awful world of myspace. To be honest, its only partly true. The only reason I make a voyage into a land I detest, I do it appease my friends around the world (that way they can keep track of what I'm doing, by clicking the link on my myspace page to come here. How novel). The things I'll do for my public. I am a nice guy.

So in the pursuit of my ministry on the golf course is off to a decent start. If I am to make it to the PGA tour, I'll need to regularly shoot 5 under par on my home course. This past Saturday, I shot an even par 70. Only 5 strokes away. It is really exciting. I made a couple of mistakes, and that cost me a round under par, but those are mistakes that are erased by practice and experience. I'll keep everyone of you posted on how it goes on the course.

It came to my attention that my last entry has caused a bit of a stir (a little D-R-A drama). Someone made a comment about how I went on a date, and followed it up by quote "Does anyone else feel like their brain fell out of the back of their head?". I would have completely just bypassed the whole comment because I felt it was simply in jest. Then I got to thinking about it, and I think I drew more ire because of the first half of the comment, about me going on a date with a girl. Am I supposed to have taken out a man? I don't think so, that isn't how I roll. A close friend of mine went to bat for me, and said some sharp points in my defense. I appreciate it, because he knew why I was abstaining from dating while in my twilight years in Corpus. Hoowah good friends who know the whole story.

Well, there are some things I think I should share with all of you out there in netspace land. There was a very big reason why I did not date the past year and a half while I was in Corpus. I had to learn how to respect the concept of a relationship, and the best way to do that was not to date. Before when I dated, these relationships led to immorality and that is not what I'm about any more. So until I learned what it meant to appreciate a significant other, I didn't' deserve it. If I didn't do what I felt God was asking me to do, I never would have had the opportunity to date Brooke. Just look at her....downright gorgeous. Just looking at her picture puts a major smile on my face (she hates it when I post pictures of her though, I don't know why because she's GORGEOUS!!!!).

Brooke is quickly becoming something extremely special to me. I feel blessed every time I get to be around her. Our relationship is being built on God, and doing what He has instore for both of us. Daily we focus on moving closer to God, and in the process also grow closer together. She is something special. Who knows, maybe those of you out there, my faithful audience, will get to meet her if we are able to travel down to the ol' Csquared. Only time will tell. I'll keep you posted. Oh, speaking of awesome as well. October 27th, in Shreveport Louisiana, Family Force 5 is playing at LSU-Shreveport, and its FREE! Talk about awesome. I will definitely be there. This is a hot band that is quickly on the rise. If you're in the neighborhood around this time, hit me up, because I'll be looking for people to go with me (Brooke is going, she just doesn't know it yet).

You're a brave man. Go and break through the lines. And remember, while you're out there risking your life and limb through shot and shell, we'll be in be in here thinking what a sucker you are.

Catch Up Time

Ok, just so everyone knows, I am alive, well and safe back in Longview. The move from Corpus was long, weary, and oh by the way...long. It took nearly 8 hours to get back (only because I ran out of steam, and we had to stop a couple of times, thats life). So now its back to life in the woods. So what have I been doing you ask? Here is what I've been doing.

I had a friend in Longview named Brooke. I knew her before I moved to Corpus, but we hadn't thought of each other as nothing more than friends. When it became apparent that I was moving back to Longview, we put the cards on the table about our feelings, and felt it would be nice to try a date. We did, and it was a blast. We went to eat at a Tex-mex restraunt, and then putt-putting (she hated the little song and dance I had for going to play putt-putt. I think it was the coreography). Brooke told me that she could not play putt-putt, and I took this picture right after she made a hole in one on the first hole.

Brooke is gorgeous, no? I think so. Even though she snookered me into her putt-putt skills. When it was all said and done though, I won. My golf skills kicked in, but she kept it extremely close. It was a blast.

So, this week is 'find a job' week. I'll check out the market, see what is out there....there has to be something out there. Who knows, I should find a super duper job. That and I am sure I'll get to spend some more time with Brooke.

Told ya, I've been busy. I'll keep all y'all informed on all I do, because I know y'all miss me as much as I miss y'all.

Yeah, we're friends. But, you know, it's the type of friendship where if you're in trouble, I probably won't be there for you. Just like I wouldn't expect you to be there for me. It's a more honest friendship. It's not this like phony thing. It's a genuine friendship. I can't trust you. You can't trust me. I'm not gonna take a bullet for you. I'm not gonna jump on a grenade for you. I'm gonna...

All I Wanted To Get Was Hamster Food

Well, thanks to a couple of friends of mine, I have been banned from ever going into the PetCo. here in Corpus Christi, from now on (well, as far as the store is concerned, a gay guy named Steve is banned from there, but they might have my picture...tricky security cameras).

So, let me catch you up so you'd understand what it is I am talking about. Le and Adde got two gerbils shortly after they were married. Their names Abott and Costello, a pair of brother gerbils. They were heralded as two sweet nice cute critters. Well, as time progressed, these two lovable critters became viewed as hellions and evil bastards. The time came when one evening, Adde went to care for them, and one bit Adde to drew blood. This sent Le (who understandably, but also scared me, went into 'its time to kill this rodent that hurt my wife' mode. I feared for my own life). Well, after threats to turn these new spawns of satans into cosmogerbils, Adde called PetCo to see if they would take the gerbils back. Well, after a phonecall, the store said they would take them back.

So that brings us to today. I go with Le and Adde to PetCo. Adde comes in, comes back out and says that they won't take the gerbils. She then suggests that we should go to PetSmart and see if they would take the gerbils there. On the way, Le goes off on how rediculous that PetCo was (apparently, they were burned before by the same store on taking rodents, but I digress), and he suggested that Adde should just put them on a counter and leave. After we get to PetSmart and find out that they as well won't take the gerbils, Le volunteers me (he had on a Revolution tshirt, so supposedly he couldn't do it himself) to return the critters from hell.

I go in, and stand there for a moment waiting for someone to come to my aid and represent the store. Finally this one guy walks up, and I explain to him my story about how I can not take care of these rodents any longer, and if he could help. He says to me, 'Sorry sir, but I already talked to your girlfriend and told her no about those gerbils (refering to Adde going in).' I quickly get all hysterical, and in my best lispy voice go, 'Oh no you didn't I have no girlfriend, and you will refer to me as Miss, got it? I need to talk to your manager now.' The guy, as he is quickly walking away, points to the manager telling me that is the guy I need to talk to. So, I approach the manager, and quickly begin dropping names of who I talked to and who I was told to talk to. He told me he was sorry but he was up to his ears in gerbils. I offer to help him with those critters because I would be looking for a good time (I'm still talking with my lispy voice so it is getting quite alarming for him I'm sure). Well, after this exchange, I am escorted out of PetCo, and walked to the door. They never give me a chance to just leave the cage and run, they litterally walk me to the front door. As I'm leaving, they tell me that I am no longer welcome at their PetCo. I was banned from an animal store!?! So much for my hamster, he won't be able to eat now because I can not go in and buy food for him. Poor bad haired hamster.

In my defense, one of the two people in the car suggested to me that I should 'pretend to be gay' when I talked to the manager. I was supposed to tell him that they were too much of a temptation for me, and so on, but I haven't a idea why I should have, it is just beyond me. But yeah, I've been banned. No more PetCo. I just hope that it doesn't carry a ban back in Longview, seeing as how I will be living there in about a month. Ah well that is life. I still think it would have been fun to turn the gerbils into cosmogerbils. Then again, that is just me.

What a pain in the ass you are. And it's true: you're not young, you're not new, and you do make people laugh. And me? I'm still with you because you make me laugh. So you know what I got to do? I got to sell my plot in Key Biscayne so I can get one next to you in that craphole Los Copa, so I never miss a laugh.

Sounds Like Time for a Good Post

Many times I've wondered who actually reads what I write? I mean, I know of a few people, but that is only because I stand over their shoulders and make a point that they should read what I write (but that isn't quite the same, I want to know the unbridaled reader of my blog). I am funny, well I think that I'm funny, people tell me I'm funny...actually they say it more like this, 'yeah sure, you are quite the funny guy there..sure are'. I could be mistaken, because I bet that could be considered as sarcasm. I try to be funny, I really really do. So, as I said the other day, the winds of change are a blowing, but I'm still keeping quite mum on the whole ordeal until later when I will hold a press confrence.

So, 'Superman Returns' opened in theaters, and I went with a mass of people to go see the man of steel return to the big screen. Movie was good, Superman had a bastard child, saved the world from Lex Luthor, so on and so on (well according to Le', Superman married Lois Lane in 'Superman 2', and therefore the child is NOT a bastard, but then again, what does Le' know?). I'm running out of creative and funny ideas. I need to come up with some new ones. I need a creative muse. I need to go and buy some creative juices so that I can be funny once more. I need to stop saying I need.

Life as a college graduate isn't all that it appears to be. I mean, what has changed? Other than the fact that I owe a few thousand dollars to the government? (hmm, wonder if I could get away with pointing out that the government should focus on its own debt before it comes and bugs me about mine? nah, they're the government, they can do what they want to do).

I have great friends. From top to bottom, well, not really on the bottom because they would have had to do something bad to end up on the bottom (I'm just kidding, I have a great group of friends that I have acrewed during my time on this earth, really I have). Maybe I should get a list together and write what it is that makes them special to me? Sure, why not? Well, here is why not, I wouldn't want to offend anyone by leaving them off the list. So I'll keep mum on this list (wow, I've said mum twice in one post, it is scary). I tried to get people involved in my blog, tried to make it interactive, I even sent out emails to people, trying to ge them to respond to build up intrest. I got 4 responses. Never again. Honestly, well, we will see if I ever try that one again.

Man, I am no longer funny. Just a washed up comedic hack. Better not quit my day job, (wait I don't have a day job, aw crap, now I'm doubly depressed).

Mal: What was that?
Wash: Did you see that?
Mal: Was that the primary buffer panel?
Wash: It did seem to resemble...
Mal: Did the primary buffer panel just fall off my gorram ship for no apparent reason?
Wash: Looks like!
Mal: I thought Kaylee just checked the entry couplings! I have a very clear memory of...
Wash: Yeah, well, if she doesn't get us some extra flow from the engine room to offset the burnthrough, this landing is gonna get pretty interesting.
Mal: Define "interesting".
Wash: "Oh God, oh God, we're all gonna die"?

A Howling Wind

Ok, the World Cup is over, and the US was bounced out by the officiating. Man, when I was a player, boy did I just want to kick the referees. Then again, that is the fun part of the game, human error. It just happens. So, now its time to watch the tourney just to enjoy the game of soccer. Sweet. Oh want to see what happens when other officials in other sports get the ire of coaches and players? check this out:

Okay, now onto a bit of nuttyness. In the county of Turkey, the Muslim hardliners have had 'Winnie the Pooh' banned from their networks. All because the show has that one character, Pigglet, a dirty little pig. I guess that means the poor little children in Turkey are also forbidden to watch the likes of 'Babe', 'Charolette's Web', and due to Arthur, 'Green Acres' (Even I won't watch the upcomming 'Charolettes Web', only because Oprah and Julia Roberts are in it). Oh wait, by this standard Allah would even forbid *gasp* 'The Muppet Show', all because of that ueber diva, Mrs. Piggy. Of course, for those of us who grew up watching the muppets, we all know how Mrs. Piggy would react, and that is by pimpslapping Allah with her trademark 'HIYAH' !!! Then again, the muslim extreemists would kill non-muslims because it isn't fair to talk in a derogatory manner about Allah, yet they can call Jews and Christians 'pigs', and 'infadels'. I don't see anyone going on a crusade over that. Man I hate double standards. In defense of muslims, I have some muslim friends, and they don't hold the same view as those extremists. I respect them, because they don't believe in a double standard. I hate double standards.

Other stupidity in the world, in Wales, a play house is showing 'The Jerry Springer Play', in which by all accounts, is very anti-Christian. It portrays Jesus (as a self admited 'semi-gay'), the virgin Mary (who claims to have been raped by God), and our soverign Lord as a bumbling oaf. They go as far as to have Eve give Jesus a handjob onstage. Yet here in America, a movie is given a PG-13 rating because it has a religous theme. I just dont' get it. If this play made fun of muslims (portraying Mohammed acting as a pedafile), the entire world would be in an uproar, because it is only fair to pick on Christians.
Then again, look at what people hold in views of Christians:

So what if the "Da Vinci Code" movie is perceived as anti-Christianity? Christianity itself is clearly "anti" every other religion as well as anti-agnostic and anti-atheist, but you don't hear those other groups (except the Muslims and Scientologists) whining about it.

I figure that any religion that is so insecure and defensive that they have to complain about every perceived deviation from church dogma and scripture, couldn't have much going for it in the way of credibility or the faith of its believers. And if the Christian hierarchy is worried that their poor gullible followers might conceivably believe the "Da Vinci Code" version of the Christ story, even after years of indoctrination, then perhaps a credibility gap already existed in their beliefs

I'm just at a loss for words. The enemy holds on tight to the world, even though he is defeated. Alas, whatever the joke that is made at a Christians expense, the final retrobution is ours, as we ascend into Heaven. It is sad as well, because those who turn against Christ, get an aweful descent. Continue to pray for them all.

The winds of change are blowing, something is on the horizon, I'll keep you posted.

Perry: Look up idiot in the dictionary. You know what you'll find?
Harry: A picture of me?
Perry: No! The definition of idiot. Which you #&*$! are!

What is this? The Worlds Game? You Betcha.

The worlds game. It envelops the entire globe once every four years. This year, they find themselves in Germany, the entire world. Amazing. I know I'm not being funny, but I'm not trying to...yet. Anyways, the World Cup starts on the 9th of June. Whoopie. I'll have to go to the dollar store and buy a stack of VHS tapes (gotta start me a soccer video collection). The group of death. Group E. That is where the US finds itself, playing the Czech, Italians, and the African team of Ghana. Let the fun begin.

Back in 2002, when the world was playing in Korea and Japan, I was up early to watch all the US games. That meant waking up at 3 in the morning, and I overslept a whole 4 mins, only to miss Eddie Lewis scoring right off the bat. As the day woke, the US won, 3-2. Talk about a way to kick off the tourny. Really makes me miss the game, wish I spent more time doing what it was that I did so well, could have been me (sure, I keep telling myself that). Two days later, its a 1-1 tie to Korea (darn you Jeff Agoose, you and your weak side defense). Then to end the first round, a great screwjob by an official who s more pro-Asian, than pro-American, the US gets jobbed, yet thanks to Korea, they back into the second round, only to find their CONCACAF nemesis, Tri-Colores (man, the Mexican team is so overhyped, they can never win after the round robin, who actually thought they stood a chance?), and a 2-0 victory. Man, that leaves a sweet taste in your mouth. The Cinderella dream comes to a close thanks to Michael Ballacks header with eyes, and a new-age hand of fate, from Martin Klose, keeping Craig Berhaulters shot from crossing the line (darn you, you scottish ref, a handball is a handball, bust the card out you pansy). So we have to wait til this month. Retribution. Now ranked 5th in the world (Mexico is now 4th, and the Czech are 2nd in the world), playing in the group of death. Lets go, time to rumble, and show the world Americas sports tenacity. If only I could be in Germany to cheer them on, what a blast that would be.

This frigging game is ruining my life.

Lines, Lines, Lines

So, tonight, X3-The Last Stand. Well, one thing about it, stand-ing was right (yeah, I know that was a great humor delay, laugh, laugh). So, I realized something, I really do not like lines. Lines to the ticket counter, lines to the snack bar, lines to get into the theater, lines to the bathroom, and when I got to do some acting, I hated learning my lines (worst part was even during rehersal, if you forgot your lines, you'd have to yell, yep, you guessed it....LINE!). Don't even get me started on coke lines. Lines are aweful. Maybe the only line I have liked was 'Walk the Line', and that was just because it was Johnny Cash. Why don't they have a special row for special people to go to the front of the, grrr, line. So, what do the movie theaters suggest on how to get ahead of the (here, I'd like to use the phrase 'L-word', but apparently the lesbians claimed that phrase, and it would not be cool to say, 'the movie theaters suggest we use a certain website to get past the L-word..wow, sounds like an advertisement to some sleezy website, and we can't have that) group of people standing in a single file uniform pattern to get to their destination, they want you to use fandango.

What is fandango I hear all of you ask at once? If you have been living in a cave with Usama, or just plain ignorant, this is a website that allows you to buy tickets online, but what makes the stand out among the rest of the other pre-pay websites is their aweful paperbag puppet commercials. I speak for everyone when I let out a displeasured groan. Robot Chicken did a funny thing, to pardoy fandango, take a peak...

Yeah, need I say more? Those commercials are pure Grade A manuer.

Well, I'm back in the Double C, and on the hard job hunt. I hate resumes, they are a pain in the butt to take care of (to advance in this world, you gotta do it) but I completed mine. Some times I wish I could get paid for doing nothing (like working for the oil companies). Unfortunatly, I can't.

So, that is where I stand at the moment, hopefully I will have a change of status for y'all. We will see.

Why am I here? Why are you here? Why is anybody here? I think it was Jean-Paul Sartre who once said... how do you spell spell Sartre? *slap* Owww... and let that be a lesson to you.

I'm a Video Junkie

You know, it is great to be back home, the weather is gorgeous out here, plus I get to see my family and play a spot of golf (man, I'm pretty good at golf, God sure has blessed me). So there is a catch at being home. When it gets later on in the evening, after my family has gone to sleep, and it is too dark to find a golfball, I run out of things to do. I should have brought my Gamecube. I could have polished up on my Smash Bros skills. That, or sailed around the seas above Hyrule. Even better, I could have unlocked more of the Mario Golf characters. Alas, I left my Gamecube in Corpus. Ah well, so, I go to Ifilm and Youtube to find solice and entertainment.

Ever since I found Youtube and Ifilm, and learned that you could post videos on your blog, I've become quite the vid-poster. So, why you are asking am I telling you this? That is because I got another video to post. I'm always out to entertain my fans.



So I gotta start saving $250 bucks so I can buy a Nintendo Wii, and then an extra $50 to get this game, because I call say, is looks boss (and yes, I mean BOSS). I am testing a theory as well about my blog and the number of comments I get. When I'm at home I get more comments from people because they miss me. Let's see if I'm missed. Here's hoping.

A man can be an artist... in anything, food, whatever. It depends on how good he is at it. Creasey's art is death. He's about to paint his masterpiece.

East Texas Once Again...

So, its Monday, and I'm in Longview. Drove all the way up this morning. Yipee for long car rides by yourself. They tend to have a strange effect on me, which leads to random self conversations about odd topics, and me singing random songs with the wrong words (yeah, I know, I have talent). So, during one of my self conversations, I recalled a previous episode of 'The Tick', and specifically the fortune cookie he recieved which stated, 'The road to Hell is paved with good intentions...', well, if that were true, then 'The road to Heaven is paved by Jesus..'. So it is true, Jesus is pronounced "hey-zeus". Ok, I kid, I kid, not trying to be a blastpheomer, just a random comment, wouldn't want to be excomunicated from people's pure churches.

So, if anyone out there has not seen Robot Chicken on Cartoon Network, you need to...I found this awesome video, its a clip from the show. I mean funny.



Apocalypse Pony, that is just hilarious. Just avoid the 'Golden Girls Sex and the City', "Check please....I'll take that check now...How about I just leave the cash on the table?" That is all I need to say. I should be back in Corpus by Friday. I'm already missing all my good friends, and the fun times in Corpus, but hey, I already won 25 bucks on the golf course. Praise God I have the gift to play golf, now I just need to learn how to evangelize on the course for him. Oh yeah, I named the hamster at Adde's request, and he shall now be known as 'minja'. 'nuff said.

On a previous blog, I posted what my friends had written about me, as if they were me. Well, my friend Joe finally sent one to me, a bit late, but still I promised I'd post everyones submissions, and I'm a man of my word, so here ya go:

Hi, I'm Nick. Sometimes when I am swimming, I have to get myself oxygenized in order to swim underwater the entire length of a pool. By the way, she told me she was 16. Ah, I enjoyed wrestling in the hallway during school with my best friend Joe (whom is the greatest guy ever) and the teachers wigging out. Boy did they get punked on that one. My first girlfriend wasn't very attractive. I was encouraged (by Joe) to dump her after I got my birthday presents. Unfortunately, her car was stolen that day, so I waited until the next week. I saw Night at the Roxbury seven times in two weeks. My call name is Sean and I am a med student at UCLA. That is all you need to know about me...for now.

What a friend..I miss that guy.

You're only confusing the boy. Before you're through, he'll be so mixed up, he'll... he'll be wearing his shoes on his head!

Atleast It Wasn't 40 Years In The Wilderness

So here I am, sitting at my computer at 6 in the morning. I've been up since five, and disturbingly hungry. So I pile up in my truck (according to quite a few people, I'm becoming rotund), and drive to Whataburger. It is nice that a Whataburger is right around the corner (helps rotund people like me). So what do you see at five in the morning? This here:
Yeah, a full moon. Good thing that I'm not a werewolf. Yep. So, I know my faithful following is wondering why I have not posted in quite a while. Well, I will repay your faithfulness to tell ya why. I've been busy finishing earning this:
Woohie! That's right boys and girls, I got me a college degree! It has taken 7 years, a lot of classes, even more late nights writing term papers that I waited until the last minute to write (sorry mom, but sadly it's true), and then the final 3 hours at the American Bank Center, waiting to complete the graduation ceremony. I can't complain though. This part of the journey is complete. I feel relieved, and saddened at the same time. I'm now ready for my next step in life. God is in charge of that one, so I faithfully wait for my orders. I'm a happy graduate, see?
Yep, I'm happy. Can't you see it in my eyes? I was blessed that my family came down safely to see me walk across the stage to complete this stage of life. It is a huge step. A continuation of my maturation. Again, I feel relieved. I was also blessed that a couple of my close friends took time out of their busy day to come see me finish college as well. That ment the world to me. I was a little upset that some others who I call friends found other reasons not to be there or just didn't show(they can't claim they didn't know, because I've been yelling about how I'm finished with college). That is life though, people make their choices, and I still consider them as friends, but it still hurts just a little. I'll get over it. I'm a gamer.

So, what do I plan to do now that I'm a college graduate? Go to Longview for about a week, and spend more time with my family. Yipee (that is until I found out that my parents, 2 of the 5 reasons I'm going home for are going to Florida to go play golf next Saturday, thanks mom and dad, you could have taken me to Florida with you for my graduation present. Oh yeah, its mothers day, so happy mothers day I guess mom, you still could have taken me to florida). I will still go, I miss my grandparents, and they couldn't make it to Corpus due to health reasons, so I will visit them (and then there is the golfcourse, and I won't hold out on it either). *yawn* seven hours to drive, yet it only takes seven hours get to God's country. Life is great. The current journey is over, and a new one is about to begin. Don't tell me we're about to go over a huge waterfall? Yep. Sharp rocks at the bottom? Most likely. Bring it on....BOOYAHAHA!

But you know what I've learned in my seven years here at Coolidge... Timmy? I've learned that you can't treat every situation as a life-and-death matter because you'll die a lot of times. Write that down.

I Promise A Good Post

Ok, more to come later for a great post (it is in the works). We all know I hate cats, just watch this video, it is disturbingly wicked awesome (I'm sure I'll get yelled at, but oh well!).

Haha, that is what I call funny!

I'm Back

So it is 630 in the morning, and I find myself wide awake. Why? I don't know, I didn't go to bed til a little past midnight. Ah well, I'll use the time to finally update my blog, and then use the rest of the time as quiet time to reflect and spend time with God (I sure do enjoy having time with the big guy upstairs, makes the whole day go by great). It surely has been a while since I have updated my little site. It really does make me kind of sad. I haven't had much of the creative juices as of late (actually it becomes a bit hard to write stuff, and not have people read it, or comment if they do read it. I do this for feedback, it makes my poor jokes atleast halfway funny).

What else have I been up to? Trying to graduate, and find a job so I can get some more income. The Easter walkthrough is coming up this week, and wouldn't you know it. The week before the performance, I was demoted from the apostle Peter, back to Judas. Why? I don't know, but the press release said because I play smug real well (I really don't know if that is an insult or a compliment). I'll do what I gotta do, and go hang myself 12 more times. I did get to play in a golf tournament on Monday. My team shot a -15. What a round for a 4 man scramble. I've seen lower scores, but that was the lowest in the tournament. 1st place baby! What did we win? A $75 dollar gift certificate to a ridiculously overpriced proshop. I mean, all I could get for the prize I had was a dozen Pro V1x golfballs (retail $48 a dozen) and three pair of socks. I got ripped. Then again, it is a proshop.

When contemplating the enigma that is online (on why I get such little feedback on my blogger site), I was told by my friends, "We're too lazy to click a link to get to your site. Why don't you be like everyone else and just post on xanga or 'porn-space'(side note: porn-space is the name I've given to myspace, the current online phenomenon)? Then we would surely post." The answer? I am not going to be like all the other shmucks out there who post on xanga or 'porn-space'. I don't like either format, and plus, I love it here on blogger. Conformists. (Sidenote, if you would like to comment on my site, it is quite simple, and here is how to do it: 1. click on comment, 2. write your comment in the space provided, 3. of the three options on how to be listed for the comment, click other if you do not have a blogger account or if you don't want to be anonymous, 4. type in how you want to be known, and if you'd like, type in your webpage or email, 5. click submit. Damn, that sure is easy, and not complicated at all). I'm not angry, just disgruntled.

So, I devised an idea that would revolutionize the way online blogging works. Interactive posts. Thats right, I said Interactive posts. You may be asking me, how do interactive posts work? It is really simple, let me tell you how I figure it. I sent out this email:
______________________________________________________
Deviants,
Hey my friends, yes, thats right all of you (I view y'all as friends, so rejoice!). Well, in the interest of doing the awesomest blog ever, I am going to ask you to do me a huge favor...in your spare time, and since you all are friends of mine, I know that y'all have tons of it, I would like you to write a sentence or two about what you think of me, basically a paragraph that you view me as (i.e. Hi, I'm Nick....things you think about me, see its easy!). These comments will be posted on my blog at www.nwesson.blogspot.com. This is just a completely random and odd concept but I want to see how it goes, so please, I beseach you, respond. Write a little somethin somethin bout me. I will be very happy.
gracias,
nick
______________________________________________________
This email was sent out back during spring break. March 12th. Yes, a long time ago. I know my friends weren't doing much, because I wasn't doing much, and we were all hanging out together. I even pestered them about a response. Almost to the point of being annoying (come on, I want to only provide the best for my adoring audience). I got very little feedback, and when I say little feedback I mean it. ONLY 3 PEOPLE RESPONDED! (only two wrote something, and the third made a promise and didn't come thru). First, I get this email from Joe, my long time best friend from back in highschool:
______________________________________________________
Alright, you want a comment about what I think about you. mmm.........I am debating on what to write. Give me a couple of days and I will have something cool for you.
______________________________________________________
Elloquent. This coming from the guy who has more dirt on me than the AP has on the current WhiteHouse administration. Who knows, maybe he'll get around to sending his ideas in, we'll see.

The next to write me was Misty. Now, when I wrote this email, I may not have been clear on what it was I was looking for, and after I got her response I kind of felt bad, not because of what she said persay, but what I thought about what she said, and what I was really looking for. Take a look:
______________________________________________________
I think you are a kind person, very friendly. I believe that in a majority of situations your means of communication involves humor. You're loud and sometimes judgmental (not in a bad way). You have strong beliefs in many different realms of your life and you hold firm to your beliefs and are never afraid to stand up to someone who challenges you. And you also are a challenger...you question people in order to understand who they are. You are very forward and speak your mind. I also believe you are a very reactive person. In most situations you respond very quickly with the emotion the circumstance evoked in you. And lastly, but most importantly, you are an awesome and reliable friend. You are very close with those you consider friends and you have their back even before they need you there. I am truly blessed to have you a part of my life.
______________________________________________________
That's a real tear jerker. A Lifetime channel special. I really do appreciate all that she had to say about me. I am blessed to have her as a friend in my life as well (look mom, I really am a nice and considerate person, I really am!). Unfortunately, I felt bad about this reply because it comes across as I was looking for people to say really nice things to make me feel good about myself. I was just looking for funny comments about me, as if I were talking about myself.

So, time passes by, I keep checking my email, hoping that someone will finally get up the courage to email me a response that I have been so eagerly awaiting. Then a week and a half later, I get this from my friend Le':
______________________________________________________
Hello, my name is Nick (or as some people call me, Inbred Jed). Yesterday I was lick'n the belly of an armadillo when it hit me how dang good looking I am. I mean, shoowee!, I am dead sexy. I was barefoot in HEB the other day (the only way to shop) when I noticed all the fine looking women pay'n me tenshon. Shoot! Some of dem even had all der teef! Well, I'm not usually da foward type, but I finally mustard up da kurage to say sumthin. "Howdy! My name is Nick" I'll be darned if she didn't scream and rundoft. I realized I had a pig under my arm and dat dere pig didn't smell allful swell, so I couldn't blame her. But once I put the pig away, I found myself anuther woman. She screamed and rundoft too! That's when it hit me! Dem Women was scared of my good looks! So I decided to send off for one of dem foreign womens dat know no better. She should be coming soon. She's coming all the way from China and she only cost $5 plus shipin! She comes with her own pump (why would she need a pump? Those foreigners sure are weird). Anywho! DAt's all fur now. I got to go wrestle a coon for my lunch.
______________________________________________________

Wow, this is what I was looking for...? I must say, finally someone who took the idea and ran with it, all the way out of the room, and behind the outhouse. What can I say? He really does see me as a hillbilly (although I don't lick armadillos, walk around barefoot in HEB, unless I'm out in the bluff, because there everyone does it. Nor do I carry around pigs, or order women online). Women do run away screaming from me though, and that is because of my good looks. See?
I told you, I am good looking (ok, thats not me, I googled that picture, but still) I am good looking! Some project I attempted. I got little feeback from people I call friends. I was right to start off the email by calling them deviants. Well, what else do you expect from college students? It could be worse, they all could have written things like Le' did (although it is funny). Maybe I should post this entry on xanga or 'porn-space'....uh no. People just need to learn not how to be so damned lazy not to click on two links so they can comment where I want to blog. It is not like I'm asking them to part the Red Sea or anything. I refuse to compromise. If I go with one or less comments, so be it.

If you feel like it, go to my comments and follow the example brought forward by Le'. Take your best shot. If that is all it takes to get you (my adoring audience to write me, then so be it, just stop being lazy). Until next time.

I had a partner! I would have taken a bullet for him! You I'm having a hard time not shooting!

Discussions at the Dinner Table

I've been looking for a job for quite a while now, but I have yet to find anything that will pay me what I need to be making (then again, its to the point where anything will do, time to stretch the search to where I don't want to go, but have to). It is kind of sad. There are jobs open everywhere back home. Who knows, maybe thats my calling to go back home, who knows? I'll leave that up to prayer, and God's will. Prayer is the best bet to figure anything out, just listen, God will talk to ya.

So, tonight at dinner with Le' and Adde, the conversation came up about how good of hitmen we'd be. Adde says that neither of us would make good hitmen (our morals and devotion to Christ would come into conflict). Then again, the whole question comes down to. Is it murder when you kill someone who deserves to die? Execution style? If it is in a zealousness for the Lord, and doing what he wants? I think it could easily done, just make sure that your heart is set in doing the Lord's will, not your own. I don't think that is what God wants done though (can't go all Boondock on people). The judgement is all his, not ours to fullfill. Given the order, though, I could wax someone. Since I can't kill someone, this is how I plan to have people waxed.



Anyways, after dinner, we went and saw 'Inside Man', the new Denzeil Washington flick. In all honesty, it wasn't that bad of a film (alot better than the last Denzeil flick, John Q, this one wasn't a public comment movie). Makes one wonder how easy it would be to rob a bank. What am I talking about? I've already made my statement about my moral standing. I couldn't that, because there is no way God would call someone to steal what is already his. Yeah.

Well, we're in the desert, looking for the source of a river pollutant, using as our map a cave drawing of a Civil War gunship, which is also in the desert. So I was just wondering when we're gonna have to sit down and re-evaluate our decision-making paradigm?

I'm Distracted

Well, I've waited to post since the whole V for Vomit fiasco, due to a novel idea that I conjured. Unfortunatly, I've had very little response, so I'm going to try yet again to work on this 'project'. Until then, what? I need to write something. My adoring fans miss me so, so very much (well, in my own head they do, but then again thats just me and my random psychosis). So, what is it that I have kept myself busy with? Well, the ususal, looking for a job, working up at the church, doing the school thing, and hanging out with my peeps. Of course, there is more. I recently got rid of my playstation, as I wrote last time, and traded it in for a Gamecube (goodbye 3rd party programing, hello Nintendo genius). I have only one disc, of course, it has 4 games on it, all from the greatest game line E-V-E-R! Thats right, The Legend of Zelda! Then again, when you play Zelda, you begin to notice something, a bit of a side effect if you will (10 to be exact, and I'll count'em down for you, my adoring fans)...

10 signs you spend too much time in Hyrule:

1. asking who stole your bomb bag, because you can't find it
2. always looking for skultulas
3. hoping that Princess Zelda is safe
4. wanting to pick up rocks, hoping to find rupees
5. you look for your ocarina.
6. worrying that when it turns dark, that you will be attacked by a poe
7. you wonder where your Hyrule Shield is
8. everything you look at you feel is a puzzle
9. the nagging question about the reoccuring hallucination, 'is that fairy flying over my shoulder real or not?' and 'should I listen to its advice?'
10. You hear the zelda theme song everywhere

I know, crazy. Then again, that is me. Crazy. To keep you posted, I'm about to enter the Shadow temple at the bottom of the Kieriko well. Wish me luck.

Can I borrow your towel for a sec? My car just hit a water buffalo.

V is for Vomit

I am not one to use this space for political purposes (well once, but that was for a completely different reason, I started me a friggen political party, had to advertise somehow). Seriously, how amazing is it that there are those who can release such spin on the most aweful of things, and claim that this movie was nothing more than something containging controversial subjects and hot button issues, and this is not the a modern-fare movie. Of course, I'll explain how I took the film, and explain why I think that V stands for vomit. On the flip side of it, the cinematography of the Wachowski brothers was second to none (they even brought in the director who did the 'Matrix', so that I give them cudos, and for using Hugo Weaving, that was great).

I have traded in my PS2, and that means no more Grand Theft Auto of any kind. On to a more civil and clean system...hello Gamecube. Now, why do you ask that I switched to a bit more of a kiddy platform with kid titles? It's quite simple, FOR THE ZELDA GAMES! The greatest story line for a game series ever, and if you need any more reason, check this out...



I mean straight up awesome. I can't wait. Too bad it won't be out til around my BIRTHDAY! Hoo buddy, what a great birthday gift idea (hint hint).

Springbreak came and went. Nothing happened, except spending time with good friends. That I really enjoyed. Wish I could have gone camping, but you can't win 'em all.

So on to the movie, and its political 'agenda'. Basically, the English 'Conservative' party releases this virus that they created and blamed it upon terrorists (the movie never gives mention to their nationality or creed, but still, terrorists). V, the guy behind the mask, he had an antigen in his blood that killed the virus, and that was known, but the government kept it under raps, let it explode, then were elected into power. Hmm, I think they were attacking the 98 Congress there. Anyways, the minor politician who rose to power (Dubbya), and his pal and underling who suggested to let this outbreak occur (Cheney), made millions along with their friends who owned stock in the one company that had the antigen (Halliburton and the whole Iraq contract). The overall parallels I can go on for ever but I don't want this to be a political site. I'll just straight up ruin the movie for you, so you won't waste your money to see it. The whole movie follows Natalie Portman, and detective out to catch V, and of course, V. They censor, tourcher, kill, people that are against their stance. In the end, everyone is killed, except the detective and Natalie Portman. The whole government (the totalitarian state) is overthrown, end of movie. Pure crap. Oh did I mention that their voice of Britian, was a tv talk show host, guess he was supposed to be Rush Limbaugh, because we all know Al Franken gets no audience. Only one thing came out of the movie that I liked, and its my quote for the post. Sorry to ruin the answer.

The people shouldn't fear the government, the government should fear its people.

Where Have All My Fans Gone?

Who knew that changing a car starter in a Wienerschnitzel parking lot for 3+ hours could be so invigorating? I mean to tell you, 120lbs torque bolts equal tons of fun (like skinny dipping in the mouth of an active volcano). It was an adventure, I had to use my massive muscles to break these bad boy bolts, and ingeniously insert the new starter. Jakob helped of course, he held the flashlight so I could see what it was that I was doing. An added bonus to this fun? FREE DINNER AT MACARONI GRILL! (boy you gotta love free Italian food).

Now I must say that I'm getting sick and tired of blogging and blogging with no comments to pay off for what I write about. C'mon! (the only feedback that I do get was on xanga, and it was just to mock me). Why do I keep writing then? Ah, I'm just a sucker to have a place to ramble. Boy howdy, am I great at that or what? But if you are reading this, then COMMENT! Even if you only put 'comment' down, I would be pleased.

So how can I generate a buzz to get feedback? Stimulate conversation, thats how! But, how should I go about it? Do I insult people, and draw anger comments? Nah, I'm not that mean of a person (really, I'm not, I don't kick old ladies...often). Oooh! Oooh! I know! Bring back 'Toss-Up Time'! Thats how to do it. Remember? Ninjas vs. Pirates? So, why don't we play kiddies?

Here we go, toss up no. 1: Yakuza vs. Russian Crime Syndicate
Well, to be a member of the yakuza, you get to carry around fully automatic machine guns, and a katana sword. That is defiantly pimp. Also, you get to wear really snazy black suits. Your typical mode of transportation is a really hoss crotchrocket (quick transport to kill lots of folk). Oh, and you get to speak mad Japanese (it will be like living in your own anime movie...yeah, movie).

How about the RCS? That's cool First and foremost, YOU SPEAK FREAKIN RUSSIAN! It is stinkin awesome to talk in a language that people will assume you are always angry and going to kill them. Talk about being a bully. If anyone has seen 'Boondock Saints', here's a reason to want to be RCS, you get to have a Desert Eagle .50 with the sickle and hammer on the front of it (that will drive terror in your shakedown victims). That, and the RCS doesn't get involved in the drugs like the Yakuza does. Plus, being RCS means you'll be just like Boris the Blade. Sharp like a sickle, and as hard as the hammer crossing it.

Talk about a close toss up, but when it comes down to it, I'd have to go RCS, because Russian women look better than the Japanese women, imo. That, and being Russian is much cooler than being Japanese, hands down, no doubt.

Ok, toss up no. 2: Country Music Singer vs. a leper
Hmm, well if you are a country music singer, that means you get to sings songs about your hunting dog, your lousy cheating wife, the nights of drinking copious amounts of alcohol, your really big truck, and of course always singing about your secret fishing hole. The shirts you can wear are not covered by the fashion police jurisdiction, and 10 gallon hats are cool. The tight jeans, you get to wear tight jeans, and ride a horse (or a bull if you're man enough, or Shania Twain, just hoping that she gets bucked off it). Oh and you could be linked up with the greats like uh...hmm, let me see...yeah, you'll get to be like one of those greats!

You will be an elite few who will have this great affliction that is aptly known as leprosy. You can handle armadillos with out fear (you have leprosy, so there is nothing else you can worry about from them). If you are a leper, well, you get a great pickup line:

'Excuse me Miss, but is that my finger in your salad?'

Yeah, thats great. Women will just eat that up (the line, not the finger, and if she does, run for your life because cannibalism is bad). As a leper, you'll get sent out to some remote tropical paradise surrounded by other lepers, and get to play games like, 'whos hand is it', and the leper classic, 'pin the nose on the donkey' (just remember which nose is yours).

Wow, yet another close toss up, but to be honest, everyone is going to choose to be a leper. No self respecting person is going to want to be known as s country singer, unless you get to be as freaking cool as Johnny Cash (unless you are Jakob, he wants to be like Keith Urban, or Shania Twain, I forget which one).

Oh yeah, check this video out, I might just have to order me a phone book because of this:

If you hold back anything, I'll kill ya. If you bend the truth or I think your bending the truth, I'll kill ya. If you forget anything I'll kill ya. In fact, you're gonna have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. Now do you understand everything I've said? Because if you don't, I'll kill ya.

Insert Thoughts Here

Well, it is officially March 6th, and a certain someone is turning 30 on this day. Not going to mention their name, just want to wish them a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (if all the stuff done to their office wasn't enough). But enough talk about this joyous occasion, there will be more stories later, when we torment this over-the-hiller later.

We had the first half of the Christ/No Christ debate, and I was the prosecution attacking Christianity. Extremely odd feeling, especially since the side I was defending (against Christ) is a side that I am totally against. God used me, spoke through me, addressing topics that many non-believers take, gave me some insight on how to talk to them, knowing the basis of their argument. My speech was eloquent, powerful and full of force. I kinda felt like a dictator, slamming the podium, getting fired up, and just letting loose. Jakob impressed me with his indepth knowledge and lack of notes to use. Great stuff. Of course, he got the good part, made it easy for him (well, I'm trying to make it hard, so that he has to work for it, but still, easy). Truly blessed to have such a great friend (he's the coolest thing since the invention of sliced bread). We finish our debate next week, and Jakob gets to present his case, and I get to muddy the water with my incessant rebuttals. I hope I lose.

After church, we went to eat at beamers....Good food (I brought a pizza from home). While there, I saw someone from my past that I kinda never hoped to see again. Funny thing is, she walked right past me, didn't say a word. I'm talking 5 feet. I know, I know, I could have said something back as well, but its the principle. I should have drop kicked her in the head (that would have made me feel better). I'm thankful that JK was there and she rode with me (she's really awesome and hot so that made me look awesome, but we all know I was better lookin than the guy Doris was with). Maybe some day JK will accept my invitation to go out with me, but she's too great a friend, and I really enjoy where we stand with one another (even though I give her constant grief about it). Of course, if you think I find Jakob the coolest thing since sliced bread, JK is as awesome as witnessing a supernova from half a mile away. Just awesome. I'm truly blessed to have her in my life as well...all of my friends are great (this point would be even more sappy if I could put really sad music to play as I say this, but I can't, but just try to imagine it).

Mom, Dad, I'm broke, send money! (if you'd like to of course, I don't have a problem eating the opossums I catch in my yard, really). Oh yeah, today is the day this movie comes out. The third film by Guy Ritchie.

There is something about yourself that you don't know. Something that you will deny even exists, until it's too late to do anything about it. It's the only reason you get up in the morning. The only reason you suffer the blood, the sweat and the tears. This is because you want people to know how good, attractive, generous, funny, wild and clever you really are. Fear or revere me, but please, think I'm special. We share an addiction. We're approval junkies. We're all in it for the slap on the back and the gold watch. The hip-hip-hoo-stinkin' rah. Look at the clever boy with the badge, polishing his trophy. Shine on you crazy diamond, because we're just monkeys wrapped in suits, begging for the approval of others.

Ideas? I Don't Need no Stinkin' Ideas!

Ok, life is interesting. I love life. No real complaints, other than I'd like a little more cabbage in my wallet, but that is a thing just about everyone goes through. Again, no complaints. Spring Break is close, a week away to be exact. I'm excited. I think I might get to go camping for free. I love camping. Of course, the real reason I look forward to camping is catching a lot of these:
Oh buddy, talk about fun. Grab one of those babies by the tail, and let the good times roll (hey, leprosy isn't as bad as it once was, besides, the ladies already treat me like I am a leper). My friends here are great, but the cross-roads in my life are approaching as well. As I state constantly, I am graduating in May. I have no clue where I will be come June of 2006. I don't want to think about it, and I know God is going to provide, but I will really hate to leave this great support family that I've gathered around me (from top to bottom great people, great people indeed). I pray everyday for the direction God has in store for me, but He must feel I'm not ready for that next step, or I'm just too blind to see and act on it (I tend to be slow from time to time, until God has had enough and rapps me across the nose to get my attention). I'll be enlightened on that next step, so until then I will spend my time praising Him, loving the time around my friends, and keeping my eye out for Miss Right (gotta stay away from Miss Right Now, found that out the hard way last time, because she was catholic). Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to bottle up your friends so you have them forever (wait, that is what memories are for). Ok, so no more depressing thoughts from me.

I need to start carrying around a notepad to write down my thoughts for what to write about here on my blog. I have multiple ideas during they day, and when I'm around my computer, they get written about. Then, other times, I'm no where near my computer, and these great ideas go poof, like smoke in the wind. GAH! That totally drives me crazy (a taperecorder would be nice). I'll figure something out.

So today, I went with Jakob, and his grandparents grocery shopping. Talk about entertaining, his grandparents are two of the most entertaining old people I've met here in South Texas (As far as East Texas is concerned, I can think of a couple of other old farts that would hold that distinction). One thing that I learned, Jakob will argue with a fence post (then again, so would I, it is kinda strange how the world works, putting two stubborn people together like that, just leads to mayhem).

We went and saw 'Ultraviolet' tonight. Milla Jovavich, she has come quite a ways since 'The 5th Element'. Then again, acting along side Bruce Willis can catapult your career quite a ways (now if I could only get into show business and act alongside Bruce Willis, maybe a DieHard movie, that would be awesome). The previews before this movie were, well for a lack of a better term, crap. Nothing but scary movies, even that new Wayans film (S..C..A..R..Y..!..!..!) What, you didn't think I'd spell it out for you? I'm a nice guy. After the flick, got to go to Wal-Mart with Jakob so he could get a beta. I just don't get the concept of beta's but hey, others do (and they don't get me, so I guess it is a win/win situation for all involved). Man, you got to love Wal-Mart after midnight, brings back the old days to me. Then again, I see anything 80's, and it is the old days for me (Man I'm old). Might go to the beach tomorrow with JK, and the gang. We will see, we will see

Now I don't have to tell you good folks what's been happening in our beloved little town. Sheriff murdered, crops burned, stores looted, people stampeded, and cattle raped. The time has come to act, and act fast. I'm leaving.